I want to break all ties with a toxic and manipulative friend...

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by thisisntmyrealusername, Jul 14, 2021.

  1. ... but I'm afraid of what it will do with my relationship with our common friends. I have always been struggling with depression and anxiety, but recently it's gotten worse. I know one of the reasons. My now ex-bestfriend. Just over a year ago I realized just how toxic and manipulative he really was, and I made the decision to break my contact with him. I started getting more confident and the last year has been great, and I've never struggled so little with my sense of self-worth.

    But we have a few close friends in common, and one of them convinced me to give him another chance, so I did. We had a long talk about the past and what happened, and we made the decision to try to repair our friendship. When I think back to that talk we had, I realize that he didn't take any responsibility at all for the things he did to me. I don't know how I didn't realize that while we talked. Well, I have been feeling like shit ever since, and my confidence and sense of self worth is erased. It's hard to specify exactly what it is that makes me feel this way, but it is because of him. I really want to break all ties with him again. The problem is that we have our closest friends in common, and I really don't want to miss out on hanging out with them just because he is there.

    Some of my closest friends have seen this side of him recently and cut all ties with him, and honestly, that feels great. I know that all of this isn't just in my mind, because other people see what I see. Those friends have however moved away from my town. I honestly want all of my friends to also cut contact with him, mainly because I can see how he manipulates them without them realizing, but also for his own sake, and that he might hopefully one day realize what he's doing and change.

    Please help me, I have no idea what to do.
     
  2. You have to stand upwards and believe what you are doing is the right thing to do regardless of your others friends thoughts and feelings. It is your life.
    I have a friend too whose friends don‘t like me, don’t respect me but I will never ask that friend to stop all contact with them. It is up to him. I’m also big enough to shake hands when required, I do care about other peoples thoughts but I won’t show it and I won’t start fights over it.

    Your chat with him got you feeling down and worthless, let that be the end of it. You tried to make amends and it didn’t work out, you did your best. He failed to understand and show empathy, he is wrong, not you.

    Don’t look back in anger, look brightly at the future.
     

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