I want to change my life

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by James90, Mar 13, 2018.

  1. James90

    James90 Fapstronaut

    Hello all!

    I am excited to start this journey and change my life for the better!

    Basic information about myself
    -20 years old
    -low self-esteem
    -no confidence
    -started fapping since I was 12
    -major social anxiety
    -negative thoughts (I’m a failure, I’m going nowhere in life, forever alone etc.)

    Ok so for a long time now I’ve been feeling lonely and depressed. I only have one friend and that is all. I am a virgin (Haven’t kissed a girl at all!) and have never had a girlfriend. 3 years ago in high school I became close to a girl but eventually that didn’t work out and she shot me down. I think ever since then I’ve just been to nervous to try “love” again.

    I suffer from major social anxiety and having social interactions especially with new people makes me really nervous as I would often stutter and usually my hands and feet get really cold and I get nervous sweats.

    I’m currently in third year of university and I feel like I am going to do nothing with my life. I often feel unmotivated to do anything. All I want to do is sleep or be home where I don’t have to fear interacting with other people.

    I’ve started going to the gym 5 months ago and while that has helped with my physical appearance, I still feel bad overall.

    In regards to PMO, it was my way of relieving my self. I don’t interact with girls so this would be my “fix.” I don’t use Porn all the time but i definitely use it more than I did in the past. I masturbate anywhere from 1-3 times a day. Overall I feel drained and unmotivated to do anything.

    I have many goals I want to accomplish!
    - start a business
    - get a girlfriend!!
    - to be honest, just improve all aspects of my life!

    Sorry for the long introductory post, I’m currently on day 4 of no PMO.
    I’m looking forward to the future and I can’t wait to change my life forever!
    xeon1993 and SuperLulox like this.
  2. Dr_prof

    Dr_prof Fapstronaut

    Welcome. You will find lots of supportive people in this community. Good luck.
    James90 likes this.
  3. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

    Welcome @James90, I'm glad you're here.
    James90 likes this.
  4. Hi James,
    Glad to meet you here. And very welcome to join us in our journey to a healthy, fulfilling life without any self harming habits.

    It's a safe place here. We all are in the same boat, so there is no single space for judgement here.
    Maybe it's a good idea to keep a journal. Sharing your struggles, thoughts and feelings may help you to understand the underlying issues.

    Keep coming back and get the most effort out of nofap!
    You don't need to do it alone!

    Let's go to work!
    James90 likes this.
  5. SuperLulox

    SuperLulox Fapstronaut

    Hey welcome!
    I'm 20 aswell and I had sex for the first time not too long ago, so I know how you feel.
    My advice: don't even think about kisses and sex and girlfriends for now, just concentrate on getting better as a person. Keep working out, start a new hobby, meditate (it helps so much) etc..
    Congratulations on starting this journey, it will pay off
    James90 likes this.
  6. James90

    James90 Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the support! I’m glad I’m not alone in this!

    The girlfriend/sex thing really bothers me as I am 20 and have not had either.

    In regards to meditation, how should I start with that?

    SuperLulox likes this.
  7. SuperLulox

    SuperLulox Fapstronaut

    I know just how you feel, but trust me man, the more you worry about it the worst it will be. Just relax and let it happen, it will eventually just let things be.
    Meditation is great! There are tons of videos about it online, I recommend the mindfulness meditation ones. There's also an app I use "insight timer" that has both guided meditations and a timer for you to meditate alone.
    Best of luck
    James90 likes this.
  8. Hey @James90 ,

    Nothing wrong with being a virgin at 20. Somethings are worth waiting for.

    I'm just a normal ordinary member. No moderator super powers and no special insite. I share my ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) of what works for me.

    Just another warm welcome and a heart felt hello. This community has helped me so much.

    What worked for me was "working" it. It took hard work for me to complete a hard reboot (No pmo) for 120 days, then move into a Sex Positive mode.

    First, reading the literature published by NoFap itself along with reading journals.

    Then, doing the work. Writing in my journal and replying to introductions and other's journals.

    Finally, but not least, getting involved with the fellowship. I found it on the forums, but also in people's profiles. The forums tend to be longer posts, where the profiles tend to be more "conversational".

    That is what has worked for me. I like to remind myself that this community was here waiting for me with the lights on when I arrived. Now, I have to do my best to be there when someone comes to the community.

    For me NoFap is 1/2 program & 1/2 fellowship.

    Click on these people and post a "hello" on their profiles.

    I've found that the bricks that hold this community together are cemented with the support of the members of the fellowship.

    @Rising Sun !!
    @Ready to be healthy
    @Struggle Bug

    One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program.

    Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:

    @Alikersantti - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155162/
    @Reverent - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143845/
    @Struggle Bug - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/141911/
    @BigDawg913 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/145872/
    @kropo82 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/78164/
    @tet2vd - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144513/
    @Protagoras - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/109842/
    @JakeO5 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152940/

    Welcome again,

    --> L
    James90 likes this.

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