I want to fix myself

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Mike3298, Sep 28, 2018.

  1. Mike3298

    Mike3298 New Fapstronaut

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    Hello, this is my first post here, I actually heard about this site from a doc series called "Dark Net" and I didn't know there was a community out there with the same issues as mine. So here is my story. I started watching porn and masturbating when I was 8 or 9, and have been doing it regularly for around 15 years. No matter how many times I try to stop it just takes over my mind, like i'm a different person and takes control and makes me watch and do it. Then when I am done I feel like I am a horrible person and I just feel gross for it. It has shaped me for what I am today in a way and i'm not proud of it. To think of all the time I could have been doing something different and such. Even when I got a gf I didn't stop. It was good at first because we were like bunnies in the beginning, but even then after we were done I would still go back and watch and do it. I noticed my sex drive went down and masturbated more. We got married, now its pretty much all I do. We pretty much never have sex anymore and I know its completely my fault. I blame it on me gaining a little weight or I say i'm tired. But I know what the problem is. I have a monster inside me and I can't get it out. Even now when we try, I can only stay up for so long before I lose focus and just want to watch and do it myself. I need help. Really looking to better my life and rid this demon that has been inside of me for so long. Thanks for anyone that listens.
     
  2. 14909

    14909 New Fapstronaut

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    I hear you brotha, I used to be in the same place you are right now. My addiction to PM almost made me loose my family( wife and daughter). I hit rock bottom and 2weeks ago I decided to quit cold turkey in order to save my marriage and family. P and M led me to be unfaithful to my wife with my hand and other women. I was on selfish and destructive path but thank God my wife decided to give me one last chance. It's been 2 weeks and with support from this forum and will power I've been clean. I know I will overcome this and so will you, just get your mind and heart to it!! Nothing is more important than family.
     
    Mike3298 likes this.

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