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I want to improve my life

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by jag5723, Jan 3, 2018.

  1. jag5723

    jag5723 New Fapstronaut

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    I'm 19 years old and have been masturbating to porn ever since I was about 12-13 years old. Around that age period I would only view porn every now and then maybe once a week if that. When I hit somewhere around 16 my porn consumption jumped quite a bit, but was still not that bad in my own opinion, it wasn't at all interfering with any part of my life. From 18 years old to now I feel as though this habit has gotten to a chronic point and IS interfering with my life in many many ways. I'm a sophomore in college as a premed major and am doing pretty good academically, but because of my porn and masturbation habits I feel as though I am losing a sense of control in various aspects of my life(academics, studying time gone, staying home a lot more, relationship wise, motivation, etc.) Today I masturbated 5 times, yesterday it was 4, and the day before that 5 again. It's to the point where porn or masturbating doesn't even excite me I just do it to do it. I wake up and do it. I finish eating and say what the hell and I do it. I finish half my homework and think, might as well I deserve it. To me this is fucking ridiculous why am I doing this? Is it because I'm bored? Is it because I'm just always horny? Is it because I'm not satisfied sexually with my gf? I don't know half the time, it seems to be just one big mish mash of all these things. You guys have no idea how many times I've tried to quit cold turkey, it's honestly probably close to 100-200 times where I've gone maybe 1 day or MAYBE 2 just to fuck up the next day and do it 4-6 times. I'm starting to realize that if I want to achieve all these great things in my near future (transfer from community college to university, go on to a great med school, start bringing in more income, improve my study habits, not waste LITERALLY 3-4 HOURS A DAY WATCHING PORN) that something in my life needs to change. I know I have no other bad habits running my life other than this one. I don't drink, smoke, party all the time, or anything like that. I know I'm such a smart person, I just have this distraction literally starting to form a wall around my entire life. I know I'm rambling on and this will probably be read by one person, hell maybe even just a bot, but I'm here, right after jerking it too. I climaxed and said "why am I doing this to myself? I need to change SERIOUSLY THIS TIME". I hope to interact with this community and I really hope it is the answer I'm looking for. I almost joined a few months back, but said to myself "lol I don't have a problem". Now I see, I really do have a problem.
     
  2. Hi
    Glad you are here. And very welcome to join us in our journey to a healthy, fulfilling life without any self harming habits.

    It's a safe place here. We all are in the same boat, so there is no single space for judgement here.
    Maybe it's a good idea to keep a journal. Sharing your struggles, thoughts and feelings may help you to understand the underlying issues.

    Keep coming back and get the most effort out of nofap!
    You don't need to do it alone!

    I wish you lots of luck!
     
  3. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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    Welcome @jag5723, I'm glad you're here. You have good ambitions, and I think this site can help. Keep coming back!
     

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