I want to just escape from this reality today.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Henry1860, Jul 14, 2019.

  1. Henry1860

    Henry1860 Fapstronaut

    Telling you that I am having a bad day would be an huge understatement.
    I am depressed, I am anxious and I am freaking out so much that my heart rate is elevated.it is fucking frustrating!
    I was supposed to go for an interview on Tuesday but I am so scared of the Hr interview that I am stalling it ever since.
    Daily I am coming up with excuses of why I didn't go today.. this has been my life for the last 4 days.
    Today I am losing it. I am filled with guilt and my mind is still thinking of a reason why I can't go tomorrow(Monday).
    I feel this pressure in my head , it feels like its going to explode.I don't know how long I can resist the urge to escape into the virtual.
    I just started this challenge 3 weeks ago and right now I am on a streak of 12 days.
    I am ashamed to say that I did click on a porn website but when the web-page loaded I saw violence towards a girl , something in me just snapped and I closed off that tab.
    I realized that I needed help to keep up my resistance.. so I am posting this now.
    I don't know what specificity I should ask for and what kind of help I need , so I am just gonna say this.
  2. smile1120

    smile1120 Fapstronaut

  3. DayOne44

    DayOne44 Fapstronaut

    I can identify with what you are experiencing; I've been in emotional places like this.

    Truly, I do feel for your experience and want to help.

    Helping you through this isn't really possible in an online forum.

    You need to find someone with whom you can talk at length face-to-face.

    Do you have any family members or close friends with whom you can talk?

    Is their a crisis center in your town?

    Teachers often care about students personally, and even priests and ministers can sometimes be helpful.

    I hope you find someone like this soon and have some time with them to talk.

    The most I can do from here is give you this advice and encourage you with this virtual support.

    Cheers! :)
    Henry1860 likes this.
  4. Henry1860

    Henry1860 Fapstronaut

    Unfortunately I don't have anyone to talk to about this. My family doesn't even know I have this problem. That is why it was so hard for me to kick this addiction..
    But,I feel now that I am sharing this with the forum, I am making real progress. I haven't been off PMO for 2 days before but now I have a streak of 13 days...
    Thanks for reaching out. You really helped me out just by replying.
    Thank you. Take care.
    DayOne44 likes this.

Share This Page