I Want to Move Forward but My Mind is Living in the Past

IMO resets are an internet phenomenon and less of a therapy/proven strategy.

I will say my specialized therapist does tell most of her clients to abstain from sex/masturbation for a bit of time. It's not to reset, but to avoid falling into secondary sexual addiction habits and compulsions. In other words - it's a good thing to focus on things other than sex (emotional connections, underlying issues, etc) - however simply not jerking off for 90 days doesn't "fix" anything long term.

 

Thank you!

Also, I asked and he admitted it. He told me a lot of things before, but I had a feeling about that one and asked him point blank. I hate that I have the need to know so many details. It scars so much.

I’m not sure if you are looking for something kind of Jesus-y (which is what we were looking for), but some of the groups we got involved in are at https://puredesire.org/. He is taking the PA/SA class and I’m taking the betrayal class.

https://puredesire.org/join-a-group/

https://puredesire.org/groups/

 

It's also a start to put this into your boundaries - that he discloses within 214 hours of a relapse or you will do x. I personally won't tolerate it, but it's a gamble on my end because relapse is probably going to happen. My situation and my standards are unique to me though. Some women will choose something like you report a relapse within 24 hours, a relapse will cause me to insist you sleep down the hall until I am certain you are committed again to recovery (or whatever consequence they want).