I want to stop oogling

Truegamer007

Truegamer007

Fapstronaut
Bit o' background first. This has been my longest streak so far. My previous record was a month. But that was a few relapses ago. My last streak was like a week long. After that I decided to get proper serious about NoFap and treat PMO addiction like a real addiction.

So I've come across a problem I've never encountered in my NoFap journey. Oogling. I had only read about it on the forums before. And yes, I have on occasions turned to look at a beautiful girl or two. But this is different.

My eyes tend to get drawn towards women's chests, like a lot. Like even with my female friends, when I'm talking to them, my eyes just tend to move downwards, even when I try to look them straight in the eyes. And it's not a simple glance, it's like I'm observing... It creeps me out and scares me that I'm struggling to stop myself from doing this. I've been very distracted in conversations thanks to this.

I don't know why this suddenly started happening. I've been struggling with general horniness recently, so maybe that is the reason. If anyone has any suggestions as to how to stop oogling, or deal with it in any way, pls do comment. Or if you're also struggling with it maybe we can help each other out.

TL;DR
Struggling with oogling, need help.
 
congratulation ur previous recoder were a month and now..u have ur longest streak . appreciate it.
 
Yes this is a big deal. I am better with it in person as I am very aware that they see what I am doing... and also because it is a real-life human being... but when watching a movie or television show... if there is an attractive woman in the scene my eyes basically become super-glued to their butt and tits... because there are no consequences... and they are there... no awkward interaction I can stare and stare...

It's objectification, changing them from humans to objects. The infuriating thing is they don't help us. SO to put it in an extreme way: either they should all wear burkas or we need to control our minds. My choice is the latter. It's not a matter of will power, though I guess you could try and wage the battle at that level, but it's really a matter of perspective. You need to change your perspective. Now a full reboot will change your perspective so some of it will be automatic. You just won't be as easily, and as automatically, triggered by the 'sexual attributes' you like... and your mind will be less prone to seeking out what triggers it... but reboot is not a cure-all. Hot women will still trigger overheated reactions.

So lets stay in the object realm for a second. Think of some food you like. (Food and sex cause similar messed up responses for me). A table full of your favorite food and you have already eaten and you are over weight. Do you stuff your face till you burst when you encounter it? If not, what's the next, not quite as bad, thing? : Do you stare at it as if you wanted to stuff your face with it? Or do you deliberately look the other way so as not to be tempted? (and look out the window where a bus drives by with a giant advertisement of your favorite cheescake) All these things are failures at different levels... why not train your mind to stay aware of everything? Just acknowledge "ok I like that food but eating it, or pretending to eat, is not good for me". You balance the immediate emotion based reaction with your slightly longer term well being. This takes work as we often run either on an emotional auto-pilot, or suppress our emotions and are out of touch with them. You have to work to be aware and in balance.

Then of course with women they are not just objects... they are persons. If you are somewhat attractive and have hung out with gay men at all you might have some insight as to what it feels like to be an attractive 'object' to a man. It's not a subtle thing. It's overwhelmingly obvious and rather disturbing. In this respect, women don't have some higher power of observation, it's just that men are incapable of hiding their sexual interest.

Given all those perspectives, and the improvement of reboot, you can literally start to change your mind.
 
JackStrident said:
why not train your mind to stay aware of everything? Just acknowledge "ok I like that food but eating it, or pretending to eat, is not good for me".
Click to expand...
I've come across a similar thought process while I was looking up meditation. To notice and be aware of your thoughts but not run after any of them. Just to be aware. It's called mindfulness.

Thank you so much for this. I'll definitely try this. I had totally forgotten about this.
 
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