I wanted to share this and need help (about root cause)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Aug 5, 2019.

  1. Hi guys my name is Alex.

    a porn addict with compulsive behaviour to porn.
    I am triying now for 2 years to stop and my longest streak was 35 days.

    I read on this site about porn addiction and it opened some stuff about me.
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/meaningful-you/201309/the-hidden-wisdom-porn-addiction

    for example my parents didn pay me much attention when I was a kid and I felt not loved, not worth and I wanted attention and my childhood experience in school was the same.(bullies, 0 tolerance, verbal abuse). so I turned to porn. And I am also kinda entitled I beleive most addicts here are. Entitled I mean by (thinking yo are not worth and wantint special attention) or (thinking you are the best and wanting special attention)

    So basically PORN ADDICTION is the result of all our traumas and emotions which we cant handle. For example I feel ancious sometimes , very lonely and with low self esteem due to this addiction, and my question now after 2 years is.

    How do you really go about this. Usually I see advice like "Eercise man it will be great or LIFT WEIGHTS YEAH" "go running USE BLOCKERS dont fap" but this wont cure the problem it will only pause it. honestly I am scared like literally while typing now I am scared and wanna cry cuz I am 2 years into this and since 6 years old masturbator. I want to stop like really but I just wanna know if someone else had this issue and how did he address it.

    Thanks for the replies in advance and for your time. Sorry if I misspelled anything.
     
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  2. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    How do you stop PMO? It will be the fight of your life.

    1. Cut off access to P, whatever it takes to do so.
    2. Get a group of APs and start checking in with them every day.
    3. Acknowledge that this battle is in our minds, and that is where it must be fought and won. Begin practicing some form of mindfulness meditation. I use the FREEdom process, which is a Christ-centered approach. There are many others. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zqVL11JjWICOHCRUDmqXr9TNC_gpb6yhRF1hKp-fxcc/edit

    You can read more about my story and what I have used over time to help me in recovery in my journal and the links in my signature. I could never recover alone. It took a community. It may be the same for you.
     
  3. thanks for the advice mate
     
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  4. alexg1709

    alexg1709 Fapstronaut

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    I look at this the same way I see my drug addiction. It's a an every day struggle and after many years of quitting and relapsing I am finally just over 5 years clean.

    I am seeing the PMO issue exactly the same way (for me at least). the way I stay clean of drugs is by staying away from triggers and people that could influence me back into that dark alley.

    There is a lot of similar patterns I noticed in quitting PMO that drug addicts follow to fight the addiction. But like someone mentioned it's an every day struggle and life choice.

    There is no cure for addiction only treatment unfortunately.

    Stay strong and good luck!
     
  5. Damnation

    Damnation Fapstronaut

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    You're 19 my man, you're a kid, you have a great deal to learn from life. As you get older, you will find these traumas begin to evolve and mean less to you. Be patient
     
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  6. testwarz

    testwarz Fapstronaut

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    The biggest thing that I found you need to deal with when doing no pmo is dealing with ‘ok so I just started no pmo so now what??’. You gotta have an answer to this. To me the best answer is gym & exercise etc. just keep moving. This helps the healing a lot since you will increase free testosterone which will make your exercise easier and typically you will start to strip fat. I’ve lost 10lb in current streak and 20lb since I started 1 year ago...
     
  7. I agree I plan to start running as well and also I am gonna get deeper into the wim hf method, but I am 1.85 m height 79 kg can you give me any tips for running man.
     
  8. Your reply is. is really honest and I am 19 years old yes, and really confused, all this time with the addiction it got into being a bad person and it hurts(my head, self esteam) and I agree that I am still young and foolish, but what was it like for you. I mean. is there any way to better realise stuff I mean people usually do the "o man porn is so bad" and still relapse well I was like that and now I am more like "I jsut relapsed well not a big deal I will move on" but I still need to quit it for real as its a destructive habit. Dunno man I want to ask you many stuff but you are right, time will reveal it. guess staying on nofap and the good stuff will help it ? :) thanks for the reply man.
     
    Burner1 likes this.
  9. testwarz

    testwarz Fapstronaut

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    Huge tip for running.. personal opinion only - forget it! Only do v light cardio such as walking or hiking. Lots of it. Avoid chronic cardio big time coz it shreds your Testosterone... rest is lifting weights safely
     
  10. Damnation

    Damnation Fapstronaut

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    I second this, cardio for body sculpting is nearly useless. Unless you're training for a run or a swim, avoid cardio, lift weights in the hypertrophy zone, alternating with heavy lifts every other month.
     
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  11. Damnation

    Damnation Fapstronaut

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    Also, I'm of the opinion pied is cured in a few days - weeks? The rest of the issues are likely other mental illnesses playing out. Like guys that claim it takes a year plus.....I feel like there is something else going on.
     
  12. oggybendoggy

    oggybendoggy Fapstronaut

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    I'm only on day 8 of no P. First week was tough, with many urges. Whenever I have an impulse to look at porn, I come to this website and read for about 20 mins. There's a lot of support on here, and reading different threads gives me ideas. More importantly, it reinforces the things I need to NOT forget.....like don't give in to porn at all. Once you take a peek, it's too late.

    Good luck.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. alexg1709

    alexg1709 Fapstronaut

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    You can ask me anything you need bud. You are still very young and have the opportunity to start fighting this addiction at young age.

    Excessive PMO really got me questioning myself on all of topics including my own sexuality.

    I even ended up visiting escorts and all kind of stuff which I would have loved to forget.

    Take the recovery and reboot seriously it can change your life mate.
     
  14. I agree I got into really f** up porn, but its alright because its not you but the addiction. you dont mind me using a conversation to question you stuff or you want it tob e on this post
     
  15. but those other probems who come form porn theay are qured with abstinence doesnt matter if its year or more right ? I emana re they connected to recovery ?
     
  16. stands to reason

    stands to reason Fapstronaut

    Welcome @Alexander210. I am freed of sexual sin and have not relapsed at all. It's possible for you too. Open your mind and discover what really works. God bless you. Find The 4 RULES to End Sexual Sin at Forum Group Christian Fapstronauts.
     
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  17. smoke_ash

    smoke_ash Fapstronaut

    Hi, Alex. If you had a 32 day streak you surely have good will power and motivation to quit. The most important thing is that you didn't give up.
    As I read people's posts on this forum more and more, I notice that for all of the folks here, the porn addiction is connected to a lot of other problems in life. It's pretty hard to get through life without any psychological trauma. Most of them happen in childhood. All kinds of issue with parents, with peers at school, with teachers. As Kurt Cobain said "No one dies a virgin. Life screws us all".
    The good news is, you don't need to drag your past along with you. You don't even need to dig deep into it and try to figure out what exactly happened that might have caused your problems, like classical psychoanalysis did back in the days. The only thing that matters is what's happening to you right now where you are and what you going to do about it. There's no silver bullet here like sports or religion or career. It's all individual. But you got all you need to be happy, just keep working on finding the ways to get it and stay on track, you'll get somewhere!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  18. well can you give me more info ? What did you do to make this happen, except letting God in. I mean there has to be more to it or ?
     
  19. thanks man I appreciate the reply if you can share more I am open to learn. :)
     
  20. smoke_ash

    smoke_ash Fapstronaut

    You are already looking in the right place) Even there on the "psychology today" you'll find a lot of useful articles. Read more about how your brain works and why and you'll stop being afraid of it. You have an advantage of being still quite young, your brain is very plastic and highly adaptable.
    Having read quite a lot on the topic I can give you a short spoiler: the methodology for treating all addictions is pretty much the same, except for pharmacological aspects of some. Some sort of accountability (like this forum), a commitment made to someone (users of this forum also work, doesn't have to be someone close to you), working on self awareness, learning to notice your triggers and your thoughts that precede the behavior, and so on. Knowledge is your friend and savior.
     
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