I watched porn after 17 days

Hi,
I'm 18, I watch porn for 3 years at least every week (except for some periods when I succeed to stop watching it).
I wasn't watching porn for a couple a weeks (still masturbating but less frequently than before) but last night, I couldn't resist once again. I knew that I would be likely to give in someday. I felt so much shame about what made me aroused. It contained so much violence. But I must use the strength of this shame and of this guilt to conquer my porn addiction. I'm single minded to get rid of porn. It doesn't give any pleasure. It just makes me feel ashamed and guilty.
I think I failed because I spent too much time on my phone in my bed. I didn't work a lot yesterday and that made me feel bad.
My goal is still to get rid of porn and maybe of masturbation for a while. I know I can do it.

I could have stopped for 17 days thanks to the mindfulness meditation and the workout. I have to continue those too activities and to study too. That makes me feeling self confident and not thinking about porn and that would be the easiest way of getting rid of porn

I'm sharing my experience for the first time even if I'm struggling with porn for two years now. I shared it with a friend already, and even if she doesn't watch porn at all and probably doesn't entirely understand how porn can destroy sb's mind, sexual life and sexual fantasies, it helped me. I felt the importance of not keeping my shame inside of me. That's probably why I share my experience here today.

I won't give an account everyday because I think that the more you think about it, the harder it becomes. But I will anyway write my feelings and my impulses.

If I can give 2 advices of my 2 years journey of trying to get rid of porn :
1) Don't give up when you fail the first time because it is likely to happen (and don't feel ashamed or guilty when it happens, it's okay if you're still trying to dispose of porn)
2) Speak about it. Don't keep the shame to a close friend or to someone you strust. That will make your journey harder if you don't. You will be motivated, socially engaged, less ashamed because you will deal with someone that isn't judging you.


PS : If you can see any mistake, it's because I'm French