I watched porn after 209 days.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by DesertExplorer, Aug 11, 2020.

  1. DesertExplorer

    DesertExplorer Fapstronaut

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    This is a warning to those who think that the whole game is about passing the first three months. It's not...

    Today, I fucked up. I watched porn after 209 days. That's almost 7 months of a no porn streak.

    The first piece of the good news is that I managed to stop watching a lot sooner than the last time, 209 days ago.

    I mainly got my fix from browsing and I only watched less than a minute I think. But boy, did it mess with my head...

    The other piece of the good news is that I did not masturbate. I didn't even touch it. I was resisting the temptation but I knew I would break any second. It was a miracle that I managed to stop watching before anything bad happened.

    And it would be a shame if I gave up because I haven't fapped in 289 days!

    Now, I must be extra careful for the rest couple days.

    After such a long streak, you might think you are invincible, but I would recommend you to never think that. Being fearful helped me a lot on my journey. It raises your awareness and you're much more careful when you have urges.

    I know what you may think. "So what? Will I have to be careful for the rest of my life?"

    It is possible that you may have to. You can't take any risks.

    "Eternal vigilance is the price for liberty".

    Stay strong, my friends. And stay vigilant.

    P.S. If you have any questions, let me know. It's been a while since I talked here (around 10 months actually).
     
  2. elvagoazul

    elvagoazul Fapstronaut

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    You are completly right. Two months ago, I relapsed after a 92 days streak. It was terrible, I let my guard down that day.

    On the other hand, seven months is an amazing streak. I don't think you fucked up. because you didn't fell in the addiction, you just did a small mistake.
     
  3. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, most people pmo for 5+ years, it's simply not possible for everything to br healed in a few months. Just safe to avoid pmo forever.
     
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  4. Masked En?gma

    Masked En?gma Fapstronaut

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    In a Hypersexualized society porn is everywhere, music videos, books, and Internet as Emperor of porn, don't exagerate and make it a tragedy, after 200 days you have the consciousness of not take your dick and artificially stimulate yours, of course you could relapse, but just remember the experiemce you have do with nofap and how did you handled it, just take a look to porn addictions problems like PIED, etc because maybe the memories are faded... Sadly we are Addicted and like cocaine, smoke addicted, we will always be tempted by porn.
     
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  5. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations u stayed away from pmo long time....
     
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  6. Darren hutto

    Darren hutto Fapstronaut

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    It’s all a struggle don’t give up man
     
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  7. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    Obviously it's not, because "rebooting" from "porn addiction" doesn't work. Not in 90 days and not in any other length of time.

    That goes away once you stop masturbating every time you see NSFW screen content.

    That's the thing you're actually addicted to.

    Mastering self-control is actually what breaks addiction. You just don't hide from a problem for so-and-so hundred days and magically expect things to happen. That's not how it works.

    Lengths of streaks don't matter. It's how often you make the choice to stop (masturbating). You did it once in 200 days now. That's progress, but until you make it repeatedly, nothing will change...
     
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  8. Darren hutto

    Darren hutto Fapstronaut

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    Yes man it’s a life struggle but I’m doing good on day 2 no PMO did have morning wood but other then that I’m doing good
     
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  9. DesertExplorer

    DesertExplorer Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your message. I think I understand where you're coming from. Yes, self-control is what will eventually beat the addiction. There is no other way.

    But time helps. It may not be the cause of you stopping masturbating, but you get less and less urges as time passes. So, it's a matter of being patient too.

    I would only argue that I am addicted to PMO. Not porn or masturbation by themselves. I don't care about masturbation without porn. I haven't relapsed once without the use of porn. I'm obviously addicted to fapping to porn. As most of the guys here I'd assume.
     
  10. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    Six years ago I believed the exact same thing as you did.

    Using pornography as a tool for masturbation doesn't mean that masturbation is not an issue. It's like saying if you don't go to pubs, you don't get drunk/wasted, so alcohol is not an issue.

    Accepting and acknowledging the addiction itself instead of blaming it on circumstances is the absolutely necessary first step in recovery. As long as someone stays in denial, nothing is going change for them even after 1000 days. The mindset is what starts recovery.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2020
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  11. DesertExplorer

    DesertExplorer Fapstronaut

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    I absolutely agree that masturbation is an issue. As with sex, we can get addicted to masturbation. I didn't mean that if you use porn to masturbate, then masturbation is not an issue. Absolutely not.

    But we can also get addicted to viewing sexual images and as long as I have occupied myself with the subject, I haven't encountered any argument to even suggest otherwise.

    Of course, the mindset has to change. But I don't see how confining the problem to only masturbation if you use porn to masturbate will help someone better. Unless you do not use porn to masturbate. Then it cannot be labeled as PMO addiction.

    Maybe for some reason you believe that I don't think masturbation is a problem, but when I talk about PMO addiction, I directly state this anyway. Setting apart viewing porn and masturbating and then blaming it on either of them alone could hardly be considered helpful or even accurate.

    What I'm driving at is that by saying that PMO is an addiction that includes both masturbation and pornographic images, I can hardly see it as blaming it on the circumstances. If that's not what you meant, then please clarify.
     
  12. DesertExplorer

    DesertExplorer Fapstronaut

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    Hey, man. Keep going strong. Morning woods have created a lot of urges for me in the past so all I can recommend is staying away from the Internet for a few hours. If you notice any urges, that is.
     
  13. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    Masturbation is in fact sex: Sex with yourself.

    Yeah, might happen. But I don't know anyone addicted to just viewing sexual images without masturbating to orgasm. Just as I don't know anyone who's addicted to viewing pictures of booze without drinking anything.

    "PMO" is just an abbreviation made up by Gary Wilson in his book "Your Brain on Porn". It's not an addiction. PMO is Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm - nothing else.

    In fact "PMO addiction" doesn't even exist on this platform, because "NoFap" only talks about "Porn Addiction" (which is by definition the addiction to pornography without considering masturbation at all).

    And BTW: This platform (NoFap) considers masturbation as being healthy (I don't).

    It is in effect helpful to separate the two. It already helped others, who struggled with "PMO" until someone told them, that it's beneficial to tackle one problem at a time. And I recommend to start with masturbation and bother with screen content later. That's harder than the other way around, but it works. Again: That under certain circumstances you lose interest in your addictive behavior doesn't mean it's gone. It's just postponed to circumstances in the future.
     
  14. DesertExplorer

    DesertExplorer Fapstronaut

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    Ok, I think I am not being understood. I understand that masturbation is an addiction. And I am not saying that viewing porn can be an addiction by itself. But when in combination with masturbation, it is useful to call it porn addiction because while it shares similarities with simply masturbating, it is yet not the same.

    And I would bet that if you asked anyone here, they wouldn't claim they are only addicted to porn but not masturbation. While the term "porn addiction" can be misleading at first, after talking with people here, can you really think they believe they are only addicted to porn? Besides, a quick google search will reveal that porn addiction is compulsive sexual behavior. Not just watching pornographic content.

    And that's why I often use the term PMO addiction more than porn addiction. To be more precise. Indeed Gary Wilson hasn't used it in such a way. I have read the book. If it's not helpful for you to understand what I mean then I will be using the term "masturbating while watching porn addiction". Words are just tools for communication after all.

    And when it comes to how useful your approach is, I would have a hard time believing it helped others. If you tell someone they can bother with screen content after they deal with masturbation while they are addicted to masturbating while watching, then I am not sure how you are helping them. They're more likely to relapse if they continue watching especially in the early stages of abstaining.

    And yes, I would say that most people here think that masturbation isn't harmful by itself. An opinion I strongly disagree with.
     
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  15. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    No, it's not useful to call masturbation addiction porn addiction, if pornography itself isn't actually the addictive thing.

    That "misleading" is intentional, because people want to excuse the actual culprit as "healthy" and that's why they use pornography as a scapegoat, so they can stay in denial of the actual addiction.

    It helped me debunking the whole theory of "porn addiction" (that means I think everything that is stated at YBOP is entirely wrong). It helped at least one other who found out, that he has literally no interest in watching porn on its own and no interest in masturbation on its own and breaking up the two made quitting really easy.

    And that's why they are stuck in relapse cycles for eternity. You don't recover from any addiction in full denial.
     
  16. diaspar

    diaspar Fapstronaut

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  17. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    "What if I masturbate...?" - You missed the point entirely. A real porn addict is someone who compulsively watches porn while keeping their pants on and never masturbates (while doing it). Nevertheless every claim on that hoax page you linked is just entirely wrong.
     
  18. diaspar

    diaspar Fapstronaut

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    I wasn't talking to you.
     
  19. Purpleurkle

    Purpleurkle Fapstronaut

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    Wow you really don't get the message that no one on this platform wants your input. Like I said to you last time, do things a normal 40 year old man would do, don't spend all day posting negative things on a forum. No one cares what you have to say. It's so sad seeing you pop up like this on different posts, it's pathetic
     
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  20. Purpleurkle

    Purpleurkle Fapstronaut

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    He understands what you're saying, he's just a sad man with nothing else to do but start arguments online out of boredom. This is what happens when you let your addiction ravage you until the age of 40. Nothing to say but negative, bitter stuff and the only sense of control he has in life is spouting this bizarre nonsense on forums about masturbating
     
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