I Watched Porn Today

((I'm talking about porn, so maybe trigger warning, though I don't give too much detail about the actual video.))

Today I clicked on a porn video. But I'm not counting it as breaking my streak. I paused the video immediately, and kept my eyes glued to the video and not the side ads. A friend had sent it to me, and I had opened it only to see if what he'd said was true.

I skipped ahead a second at a time, I didn't want to see the porn, only the setting. I got to 4 seconds in, and confirmed that someone had in fact made a porn video outside my school.

At first I found it funny, then weird. Then it just hit me that this whole genre of in-public and semi-public porn is quite disturbing. I've literally played football feet from where it was set. I assume it was a school holiday or weekend, no-one was in the background and I assume they had the decency not to do it whilst we were there. But I'm never going to look at that part of the school field again. Whatever they did in the video I'm sure they could have done at home, It just shows that porn and the fetishes it creates and makes us crave cause these horrible things to be done in a way that effects bystanders.

I mean, okay, there were no bystanders there. Furthermore, no-one would know unless they actually watched that video, in which case they wouldn't care, but theres the potential. My school is next to a gym, what if someone from there had saw? What if a school child had been there? The decent thing to do is to stay at home to do ... whatever... it's porn that puts people at risk. Another similar example is the small village in England that found out it's carpark was the site most 'fake taxi' videos are made. That's a whole community who know that this thing is happening right on their doorstep. It's disturbing.

That's my ramble. I mean I know I'm not making a concise point, I'm just reinforcing the fact that porn is horrible. The things it does to people, the things it makes people want to do, are horrible. I just wanted to share this experience.

Side note: I'd also like to pat myself on the back, I knew it was a risk clicking on this video but curiosity got the better of me. As I said, I did not look anywhere on the screen but the video, I did not give into the temptation to look at the adverts, suggested videos, or to watch the whole video. I'm only 2 weeks in and I'd say this is quite an improvement. Go nofap!