Hi everyone. I am just looking for some advice or feedback from anyone in a similar position. I'm a 21 yo guy that has been attempting nofap and failing for the past year or so, my reason for doing it is because I believe it helps alleviate my depression and allow me to be more productive. A few months back I manage to reach 30 days and visited an escort in a bout of loneliness. After the visit, I binged on PMO and became extremely suicidal for a period of a week. I did reset my counter and begin another streak, my mood immediately improved. The problem is, the experience in itself was good enough so that it's always on my mind now, I constantly want to go back. It wasn't so much the sex, but the human connection, touch and kissing. This happens especially at night I find myself fighting the urge to shoot off a text and book an appointment with the same escort. It's a constant battle everyday to not go again. Despite the experience itself being pleasant, I still felt depressed and even more lonely after I left her building. That, along with the financial costs is the only thing that is stopping me from going again. But I cannot see myself going the whole year without stopping myself, especially as the loneliness increases the longer I go.