I will destroy the past! That's enough..

During the last 3 months, I have been relapsing not to hardcore porn but to images of a bikini model that has topless photo shoots. Every time I relapse, my brain convinces me that she is not a pornstar but only a model who has also a YouTube channel for makeup and vlogs. So, I search for her name (I couldn't stop doing that, I reached 27 days streak and ended up with searching for her name), after searching, I open her Instagram, then her subreddit to see the last posts and my brain says "Don't worry, I am sure the last posts is not naked".
I get aroused and then I scroll down until I find a naked photo. At the end I relapse!!
I analyzed the reasons of relapsing :
- Considering her as a normal model or a normal person who publish vlogs.
- The curiosity of seeing her last posts which isn't useful anyway.
- Not kicking her name from my memory.

Finally, I decided to forget any model I have ever known, forget their names and forget any fu*king thing that is related to porn as if I hadn't ever known it. I will forget anything I knew during the period of watching porn. I will back to my previous life which was full of achievements and success.
That's enough. I will not ever search for any fu*king model. I won't let her destroy my life. I have already forgotten her!! I will just use my phone in useful things and will think before doing anything if it is useful or not.
Sorry guys, my English may be bad but with rebooting from pornography and making new habits I will improve my language and develop my self. I wanted to share my story with you because I struggled with that more than hard porn (That's because convincing myself each time I relapse that I will not see nude pictures but only know what the last post is).
I posted this in NoFap subreddit and wanted to share it with you in the forum.
Let's change our life and forget anything related to porn !

 

Thank you, bro!
I understand you, you are right. I won't let the monster live anymore. I will throw it out of my life.