I will get over this once and for all

Yes still clean and not going to change path for the easy one. I've been there before and it might sound easy, but uts not a fun place to be.
I have found a new therapist that works totally different from any I've had in the past. Our first session was eye opening on a deep level. I had buried memories and feelings from so long ago, andtogether we were able to explore them safely. Just amazing, somewhat scary, but liberating at the same time. We also figured I'm dealing with a tremendous amount if shame. I know most if us are, we just have to find a way to stop shaming ourselves for everything. Life is good, getting ready for our busy tourist season. We didn't rest up nearly enough, but we will get through this summer, which we think is gonna be busier than last. Let's hope anyways.
For all that struggle with this, find a great therapist that works with you, one that listens, gives you advice, and makes you work to be a better person. Stay strong my friends and good things will happen.

 

It's been a long break between post. I've been lacking motivation to post anything lately.with work taking most of my time and the little down time we have I try to do as little as possible. Maybe too little. It would take 3 minutes to write a simple post. 3 damn minutes that I procrastinate. Watch tv. Or play silly games on my phone. I'm just trying to shut my brain as much as possible. With my new therapist. I was able to open up better than before. Learned a few things from my past. And when we did the exercise to focus on my past. It felt like I was reliving it. It did shake me for a bit. Until I could understand what happened. It wasn't a huge deal. But remembering it was very strange.i am still struggling opening up to my wife. She has been there the whole time. And I keep dropping the ball when it comes go be there for her. I've never loved anyone as much as she. But I've hurt her so many times. For no good reasons either. So I'm asking for a little help this time. I need to be a better husband. One that will defend her. Protect her. Not hurt her. Sk please a little help will help this guy out. I need to grow and be a better husband. Thanks
Stay strong everyone

 

My advice for the day. Find your triggers, take time and figure this out. It is real important to know what triggers you. That way it is easier not to relapse. The second piece of advice is finding a good therapist that fits you. Not all therapist works the same. It took me a while to find the right one. And the moment we started talking I knew he could help me. And he has. I'm thankful I am not the same person I was. Home life is so much better, work also. Take the time to do the right thing and get some help, for you and if you have someone important in your life, for them as well. Stay strong