I Will No Longer Let Porn Control My Life

Even after relapsing yesterday and telling myself to never relapse again, I still relapsed. I masturbated twice in bed this morning and later on I masturbated to porn. I had to remind myself that if I keep PMOing my life will only get worse. My pornography/masturbation addiction has caused me to develop social anxiety, depression, and obsessive compulsive disorder. It's also caused me to have trouble concentrating and paying attention. Which has hurt my academic performance in school. As a result my grades have dropped dramatically. I was a much better student before I became addicted to porn and masturbation. My porn/masturbation addiction has also caused me to become lazy and procrastinate. It's also lowered my overall confidence and self-esteem. If I want to go to college, find a good career, and be successful I have to beat this addiction. Anyone who is successful doesn't masturbate or watch porn. That's why I want to quit masturbating and watching porn. I want to live a happy and successful life. When I relapse I feel like I ruined the day. It makes me feel depressed and ashamed. If anyone is thinking about PMOing, don't do it. The 5 seconds of pleasure you feel while masturbating isn't worth the guilt and shame you feel afterwards. That's what I learned after being addicted for approximately two years. I am so sick of this addiction. It's such a waste of time. I can't imagine how much time I wasted PMOing over the course of my two year addiction. There's so many better things to do than PMO. There are several changes in my life I want to make that go along with NoFap. The first thing is to start working out. Second I want to start spending less time on the internet. I waste way too much time on the internet. Third I want to start eating healthier. I don't plan on going on any special diet. I just want to start making better choices when it comes to eating. I also want to find the perfect girlfriend. I already have a girl in mind. I've never truly fallen in love with a girl. I haven't even had my first kiss yet. Hopefully that will change soon. I'm hoping that abstaining from porn/masturbation will help me become a better person. The person I want to be. I will pray to God everyday to give me the strength and motivation to beat my addiction. I am determined to beat this addcition. It's been holding me back for too long. Wish me luck! This will be a very difficult battle, but I know it will be worth it in the end. Today is November 11th, 2014 and I will NEVER PMO again.

 

Thank you all so much for your messages of good luck! I wish you good luck in your NoFap journeys as well!