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I won’t ever have sex?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by WindingPath18, May 22, 2020.

  1. WindingPath18

    WindingPath18 Fapstronaut

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    As I go along on my current streak, I haven’t been facing many urges to do PMO, but instead all the energy I’ve been having goes straight to thoughts about sex, and more specifically, the fear that I never will have sex. This combined with the fact that I’ve never really had a girlfriend for more than the week-long middle-school relationship, and the usual adolescent self-consciousness, leaves me in a really bad mental state and makes me feel like I’ll never have a girlfriend, and by extension, never have sex. Are my fears irrational? Is there a way to stop thinking about it? I can’t see myself ever going back to PMO, but I also can’t see myself living the rest of my life in monk mode, being single, virgin and celibate, and not relapsing just to fill the void. I know that I won’t have sex anytime soon, because of my age, but I don’t want to PMO either. I just want these bad thoughts to be gone
     
  2. It'll happen when it'll happen. You're so young, and to think about all this is just a waste of time.
     
    amaranth and WindingPath18 like this.
  3. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Get busy, you have a lot of time and energy on your hands and all you do is think about sex. Get a hobby, get a job, read books, etc. Whatever you want but do something. When your mind is busy doing something it doesn't have time to think about sex or urges.

    I've had sex for the fist time at 21 and now at 36 I already had 4 girlfriends and a lot of sexual partners. Just work on yourself and eventually you will get laid.
     
    MeLeneMani and WindingPath18 like this.
  4. IbrahimViking

    IbrahimViking Fapstronaut

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    Lol.
    Of course your fears are irrational.
    Yet, of course, there's a chance that you won't EVER have sex, you may die today, in fact, a large musical instrument may have fallen on your head, and as of now you are already dead and won't read my post. That legit could happen.
    Do not "fight" your fears and anxiety. That's like fighting with a piece of poop - you only get deeper. Allow yourself to feel all the insecurities you feel, as they come. It's your resistance to them that keeps you stuck in them.
    You will save yourself years of struggle if you realize early on in life that what you resist, persists.
    Do not crucify yourself for the simple fact that a thought about failure feels bad - it's supposed to.
    A way to feeling better starts with accepting yourself exactly as you are. That doesn't mean TRYING to look at yourself in the mirror and feeling excited, that doesn't mean TRYING to think happy thoughts about your anxiety. That means being okay unconditionally with yourself.
    That possibly means talking to the anxious part of you, saying "I understand your feelings", instead of kicking it.
     
    Last edited: May 25, 2020
    Metis07 and WindingPath18 like this.
  5. Dont stop nofap until this fades away.
    Its wrong in many points.
    First of all. Use your new energy to do great things. Learn to reuse your extra energy. Trust me its fun.

    Second of all. Constantly thinking about sex is primitive. You are the most intelligent animal on this planet . You really want to use your overintelligent brain on imagining sticking a rod in a hole? You know even an ant can think that. And let me assure you probably it does think about that a lot.
    Try to change your thinking. A healthy relationship is a healthy PART of your life . Not the center of it. And sex is only a PART of that relationship.

    Third of all. The more you think about it, the more you suffer.
    You see, woman get a TON of attention from guys who want to f them. But thats all, if there was no such thing as sex, most likely they would get minimal attention. They feel that too, and they either dont like it, or use it.
    You dont want to get in front of a woman in a needy state. You will either get rejected which hurts your ego, or you get used by woman. Then you get friendzones and ghosted.

    Instead be an interesting person, use your energy for good, and get a healthy way of thinking on woman and they will chase you.
     
  6. I've stopped thinking these thoughts, and I'm not sure why. I've had 2 girlfriends in my life, and never had sex with them. But I've been single for years now. I just focus on other things - there is so much to do in life. Be yourself and improve as much as you can, make yourself proud to be who you are. And then I'm sure someone else will find those qualities attractive. If you're a guy, you are in luck because looks don't mean everything for a lot of women.
     
    Bonhart and angelpart like this.
  7. Well said man! Keep going. improve yourself.
     
    FellatiousD likes this.
  8. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    Hell, I didn't kiss anyone til I was 29! It happens when the time is right.
    Take some of that energy and put it into getting to know people and taking part in their lives!
     
    bornagaingirl likes this.
  9. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

    You'll be a sad virgin if you don't act. I guarantee it.
     
  10. Not all virgins are sad :)
    [​IMG]
     
  11. thinking_differently

    thinking_differently Fapstronaut

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    Bro u r 13!! Only. U are just getting started in life..
    First focus on building up a good life for urself...love and sex will come a little later..No Need to Panic!
    Dear friend, trust me, u don’t really know what it means to have a girlfriend!! Just focus on finding some passion which u will spend ur whole life practising; be it drawing, science, banking, dancing? Whatever!

    And please just talk to a close, responsible adult: Ur Father about this. It may seem shameful, u may be scared, but just do it, he will guide u well.

    All the best Buddy!!
    U r a sunflower that is yet to bloom!!
     

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