I'd like some advice for feeling stuck in life

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by crookedboots, Mar 22, 2021.

  1. crookedboots

    crookedboots Fapstronaut

    I logged on today because I want to confess something and in doing so unburden myself. All I've been doing for the past few days was sit in bed, watch TV, go to training and sleep. Besides Jiujitsu and a little bit of Yoga, I'm spending a ridiculous amount of time watching TV in a day. I hate what I'm watching. I want to be doing other things, but, for the life of me, I can't bring myself to do anything else.

    I'd jump out of my seat at the prospect of meeting a friend, but for the most part, I haven't been productive at all. AT ALL. In Jiujitsu, often times people complain to the professor that the techniques he's asked us to drill on our willing opponents don't work when applied to their opponents during sparring i.e when their opponents are no longer willing. I've actually never had that problem. Not that I'm a prodigy or anything, I just use the techniques I was taught the way I was taught. If they don't work, I suspect that's because my opponent expects them, so I switch it up, surprise them with another move then go back to my technique. Sometimes, I'm fast and explosive. Other times, I'm slow and calculative and I grill them with pressure. I've never learned a technique that I couldn't replicate in a sparring match, but all I had to do was be patient and be open to the right opportunity to apply said technique. This popped into my head just now because I feel like I'm on the other side of this problem now. I'm on the side that's starting to feel that all what I learned isn't working but instead of Jiujitsu. I'm talking about life.

    Get up early. Journal. Practice gratitude. Exercise. Socialize. Sleep. Stretch. Stop drinking. Stop smoking. Family. NoFap. Semen Retention. Work on yourself. Journal some more. Momento Mori. Accountability partner. Podcasts. Be on time. Read. Make your bed. Journal again.

    There was a time I was doing everything right and that time ended. Now, I'm not doing anything right. I barely have a sleep schedule. I barely journal. I barely practice gratitude. I barely exercise. I try to spend time with family. You see where this is going.

    What happened? What am I doing wrong? Where do I go from here? What's the keystone action/habit that will get my life back on track?

    I'm tired of the same damn room, living the same damn day, and doing the same damn crap.
    modern milarepa likes this.
  2. PanteriMauzer

    PanteriMauzer Fapstronaut

    As a fellow jiujitsu practitioner , that my friend is the jiujitsu essence and your doing it very well!
    crookedboots likes this.
  3. DuckofDeath

    DuckofDeath Fapstronaut

    Oh cool, two other guys who do Jiu-Jitsu on here! This is exciting. For the longest time I thought I was the only one on this forum :emoji_flag_br:

    TS, I know the feeling you are talking about. I've always been a guy who is driven / high achiever, but I went through I very similar period during the streak I'm on where I was really lacking motivation. In fact, I believe it was roughly around the 1 month mark, and it lasted a couple weeks.

    I think I was trying to do too much and change too much too quickly. I was trying to not miss any days of training, I was doing a major project at work, I was trying to do cold showers, lifting weights and running more, trying to eat perfect, etc. On top of that I'm in school for Engineering and of course doing NoFap. I was really starting to lose enthusiasm, and as a result I was doing less and feeling bad about it.

    Eventually I started to peel away at my expectations and just focused on my top priorities. I started focusing on 1.) Career/Work, 2.) Jiu-Jitsu, 3.) School, 4.) NoFap. Everything else is extra. I still try to lift and run, I try to get good sleep, and if I feel I have something worthwhile to write down, I'll do some journaling. But if a miss leg day or I eat a pizza with some ice cream I don't beat myself up over it.

    Maybe if you revised your goals they would be more manageable. I'm not saying be lazy or settle for less. I'm just suggesting that you might be focusing on so many different tasks that there is too much to juggle. Just my thought.

    If you are smoking, I would recommend that you making quitting the top priority along with NoFap. If you focus on that, BJJ, and you get some more social interaction in your life, that could do wonders to make you feel better.
    crookedboots likes this.
  4. MeTP

    MeTP Fapstronaut

    Maybe you are pushing yourself too much and your body is asking for proper rest. Sleeping doesn't always equal regenerative deep sleep. This is what I sense according to my experience. Once when I was training Muay Thai I had a real decline in condition and inability to do more to life than work, eat, internet binging (and trainings). My body were asking for rest, because I was pushing too hard for too long and I was unaware that my sleep was not proper (too short). My body simply forced me to stop but I was unaware and stressed these moment because I was unaware what the hell happens, progress was awaiting and I was getting weaker and weaker.
    crookedboots likes this.
  5. I can relate. You don't have a goal worth doing.

    This is what happened to me. I didn't have a goal. All I do is watch anime.

    I then decided I wanted to be a software developer. But that want alone didn't help at all. I watched anime on the weekends then regret it not doing anything about my goal.

    I then said why I don't I do little things about my goal then watch anime? This worked. Let me tell you how I did it:

    - One one weekend, I downloaded a program that let me create code. While the program was getting downloaded, I was watching anime.
    - One maybe third or fourth weekend, I downloaded a database server. While it was getting downloaded, I watched some anime.
    - One the last day of that weekend, I tried creating a database. I encountered an error. I then surfed the web for a solution. I then managed to create a database. I then dabbled with the program that let's you create code.

    As you can see, set a goal and pursue it at your own pace.

    Ps. Don't make promises when you're happy. I promised ppl to do some things for them. Afterwards, I felt dreadful cuz I wanted to pursue my own goals.

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