If only women know....

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Di.Do.555, Jul 22, 2019.

  1. Nah they are too young, ik that some teenager of a neanby institute got pregnant at like 16. Either way, the "man" of the relationship is some horny fag allways and the woman too, safe to say that most of those relationships wont even last a week
     
  2. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    Ginny,

    I'm getting a bit frustrated because I feel like I already answered some of these questions, but I will try again because I think building understanding is important.

    In the case of my daughters, which is what I was pretty clearly refering to in the post you replied to when you wrote this, I am literally personally liable, legally, for how they are dressed. *I* can go to jail for it.

    I also want my daughters to be successful at school and as they get older, at work, part of which means following the dress code. So I need to teach them to just do this. It is my responsibility.

    Society already has a blanket dress code! Public indecency laws. Also, workplaces, schools, places of businesses all have their own stricter dress codes. On top of that pretty much everyone already has some innate sense of what is and is not acceptable in different situations based on the unwritten rules.

    When I say that I would insist that people follow these I merely mean making an honest effort to respect the rules, guidelines, and LAWS already in place.

    Look at it this way: if a man is arrested for streaking or flashing, would you defend him by making the argument that it should have been okay because all the women he ran past could simply have not looked?

    Of course not. Because if someone is engaging in exhibitionism, they are the ones that have a problem. Regardless of how anyone else reacts to it. If someone looks at an exhibitionist, they have committed no crime. If someone faps to memory of looking at an exhibitionist, they have committed no crime (unless they are fapping in public), and if someone makes the effort to refrain from doing those things they have committed no crime.

    Also, please note that I have refrained from making any specific accusations against anyone in particular. I have not passed judgement on any particular fashion. This is purposeful because I am aware of and accept that there are and will be disagreements with regards to what exactly constitutes public nudity. I'm not sure that public breast feeding is wrong, for example. In many states and countries women are allowed to be topless. There's room for debate.

    However, I would like it if when we have these debates, we could refrain from making the absurd argument that men should learn to control themselves, as though men have anything to do with women's clothing choices. (With the exception of father's dressing their daughters, of course.)

    And, whatever is decided upon, please refrain from making ad hominem attacks against men who must enforce the decision.

    As I noted above, there are disagreements about what constitutes public nudity. However, people of both genders have been arrested for doing it, and by pretty much any definition. Women have been arrested for masturbation in public. It happens.
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2019
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  3. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    i see your point girl.
    Ginny, do you consider yourself a feminist?
     
  4. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    We are in the same boat then.
     
  5. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    I thought i am done with this post but today at the gym, i saw a woman wearing what i call "come f* me if you can" cloths. She was absolutely beautiful.
    I couldn't focus on my workout. I even found it hard to control my thing.

    The question is for all women wearing this cfiyc clothes ( it is a moral question) ,
    If you want to sleep with one or two men , why turn on hundreds?
    Do u feel better "defeating" men?
    It is an absolute assault on the weak.
    Nothing less nothing more.
     
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  6. chonky

    chonky Fapstronaut

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  7. chonky

    chonky Fapstronaut

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    These are women who want "attention" don't give it to them and their ego dies. Focus on your self more bruv.
     
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  8. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    I know mate.
    I am doing this to be more alpha.
     
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  9. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    To be clear, are we talking about Lycra?
     
  10. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    Lycra + back showing + enhanced boobs sticking out.
    It was a clear assault against my inner peace.
    It unsettled me for the whole day.
     
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  11. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    Inner peace cannot be externally assaulted.
     
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  12. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    Eventually i will reach such a state.
    Give me some time :cool:
     
  13. I really liked this post- mostly because I used to think one way and now think the other.

    A year ago I would have answered “you’re the one with the problem! Don’t blame women for what they choose to wear!”

    A year later... I have a different thought. As the SO of a PA I am now heavily triggered by the lack of modesty so many women display.

    All women want to be attractive to the opposite sex. We see you guys “liking” the half naked women on Instagram. We read the comments on our friends Facebook page that you give to her when she’s dressed a certain way. We want to be desired like that too. We know that men watch porn and assume if we acted and looked like that our man wouldn’t need or want porn. See OP.. it’s your fault that women dress this way. See how ridiculous it sounds to blame someone else? If I walk out of the house in a turtleneck and slacks no man will notice me, if I walk out of the house in a tight dress and heels I am noticed. Being noticed feels good. It’s not men’s fault that they look at women who dress sexy - this disgusting society of ours shoves sex in our face- and it’s not women’s fault for wanting to be desired and have her beauty appreciated.
    The problem is that we are all a bunch of addicts or spouses of addicts we are society’s minority.

    Believe me I understand what you’re saying. I have an upcoming vacation that I am dreading because of all the bikinis. I have SO much anxiety knowing my PA man will be seeing half naked women all day and night for a whole week! I would love to make it mandatory for everyone to wear swim dresses fully covered- why? Because I’m triggered. This is ridiculous it’s not their fault that my man ogles them. It’s not their fault that I am so insecure because of his problem with fantasizing about them. It’s not their fault for any of this.
     
  14. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    Follow up question- regarding this girl at the gym, if it turned out she actually is interested in you, would that be amenable to you or would that be a problem? Are you married/celibate/hard mode, or are you just afraid she wouldn't reciprocate your interest?
     
  15. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    It has nothing to do with that. I was happy and on my 21st day of no PMO.
    and as soon as saw her, i lost control over my thoughts.
    I am single but i want to finish my reboot before trying again. I want to choose spiritually rather than physically. I want to condition my brain to see the female as she is a beautiful creature rather than a sexy one.
    I believe that men and women who use their powers excessively are harming the world.
    They are on the opposite sides of the spectrum, but we only blame men for the aggressin and violence without addressing the excessive use of sexual power women are exerting these days.
     
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  16. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    I hear you. I don't want to look because I'm married. Also, I don't want to be accused of leering by either my wife or the woman. There was a woman at Mass on Sunday with excessive cleavage spilling out (which doesn't even turn me on, it just looks bad if it appears I'm staring), and she was bending over the same table where my kids were drawing.

    So I spent about 5 minutes alternatively shutting my eyes and looking away. It's not an ideal solution because it means I'm missing out on seeing what my kids are doing.

    There has to be some way to speak up in a situation like that and not be misinterpreted as a creep. But I have no idea what that would be.
     
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  17. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    I would say silent majority, not minority.
    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/6709646/All-men-watch-porn-scientists-find.html
    This study was interesting, not because of what it found, but because it didn't happen. The researchers needed a control group of men who had not seen porn. They couldn't find any.
     
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  18. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I saw you reset. Bummer.

    And I'm personally sorry because I saw it coming the way the conversation in this thread was heading. Not just you, but Ginny as well, struck me as being on the verge of relapse. I tried all weekend to type up a comment that would explain it right, but I just couldn't find the words.
    upload_2019-7-31_19-12-48.png

    So, I'll try again:

    With addiction, of any type, they talk about three stages of denial:

    Stage One: Classic denial. An addict in stage one denial doesn't want rehab. They are simply in denial about the fact they have a problem.

    Stage Two: An addict in stage two denial has already started treatment, and in many cases they have already completed a program, but they are overconfident about how well it worked. They think they've won forever and are in denial about the fact that addiction is truly an addiction and it never goes away completely. They start talking about how they don't need help, they can just use willpower, or how their addiction is a thing of the past. They take risks they don't need to take.

    ---------------

    This thread was starting to tilt heavily toward stage two denial. No matter how many days you get into your reboot, you simply can't be around scantily clad women and expect to control yourself. I wish I could tell you that you can just learn to just keep your cool and handle it at some point, but it simply doesn't work that way.

    You may need to ask women around you to help you by covering up. This is going to be super awkward, so phrase it as best you can, but make sure you spit it out that you just can't handle the temptation on an ongoing basis. You have freedom of speech, so you may come off as rude but you are within your rights. And if they won't listen then maybe workout at home, rather than going to the gym, whatever it takes. There's no shame in this. It's part of the solution, not the problem.

    ------------

    Stage Three: An addict in stage three denial understands they have a problem and that treatment alone won't make it go away forever, but they are in denial about how much work and sacrifice it will really take. They know they need to make recovery a top priority but they are in denial about all the other things they want out of life that become excuses.

    And that's where I was/am. I know that fighting my addiction will require me to give up people (particularly women) pleasing. Getting likes on my comments. I knew Ginny wasn't taking kindly to what I was trying to tell you and I let that silence me. I shouldn't have cared.

    By the way, sorry for three comments in a row, but I have a lots of thoughts about this thread that are only loosely connected.
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2019
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  19. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Peter
    It is ok. I am fine with relapsing as long as it doesn't make me feel bad. Feeling bad creates a vicious cycle.
    I really appreciate the info here.
    I have realised that it all comes down to self-regulating. If you master yourself nothing external is strong enough.
    That is the state that only a few men even contemplate mastering.
    So yes women play a role in this cycle.
    It is the excessive use of power by both sexes on the weak of the opposite sex.
     
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  20. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    Ginny, Dido and I are two completely different men, our addictions take different forms and we are at two different points in our recovery.

    Why are you mixing up my comments pertaining to myself with my advice to him?

    And why aren't you talking at all about YOUR problems, if you self-identify as a PA as well? Why do you feel so strongly about this subject? Surely you see something in the conversation here related to your own life struggles and aren't simply butting your nose into our conversation to be a busybody. I would like to know what that is.
     
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