If sex DOES happen how do I deal with chaser effect?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Tesslynne, Dec 22, 2016.

  1. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    I'm not hard mode though I am not exactly chasing sex or guys. But just, if it DOES happen, I'm a bit wary about the chaser effect?
    I REALLY want to make it to 30 days, then 60, then 90 etc.
    Anyway, I'm not hard mode, so IF I DO end up having sex, how do I deal with the chaser?

    I know that I get this as the last time I had sex, and before I re-started NoFap, I got REALLY horny after I had sex and that led to that which shall not be named.

    And i want to be able to have sex WITHOUT relapsing after.

    I also think that this advice, whatever advice you give ME, is also going to be helpful to people who are in relationships and are going easy mode to make it easier on their partners, well how do THEY deal with chaser? I know not all of us get chaser, but surely some couples do?

    So, even for those in relationships, or whether people are ---- like some guys even DO NoFap cos they wanna have sex and are single but they you know have problems from fapping. But as their body heals, they wanna have sex...so.....regardless our situation, the question remains, how do we deal with the chaser effect if we DO have sex?

    And also, some people after they we relapse, they get chaser, how to deal with THAT?

    Thanks in advance heaps and heaps and gonna also search the forums here on this topic.
     
    Lynx93 likes this.
  2. Lynx93

    Lynx93 Fapstronaut

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    I was about to do the same question, so I better came here to see what others reply.

    Right now im on D4 (i know, ridiculous, just starting) however I've began to feel like wanting to have sex. But I'm wondering what to do, if i should, or not, and why.

    How does chaser effect happens after sex?

    I was also thinking that maybe the whole process of looking for sex, texting, sending nudes, may be triggering enough in itself.

    But at the same time, I'm just 24yo, I've been single for a year now, waiting to fix my heart. This last year has been good in some ways, but in others has been like an stand by. Shouldn't i be "enjoying" being young and that stuff? What if someone hits upon me and wants to do something? I don't know.

    Hope we can get to good answers here
     
    Tesslynne likes this.
  3. Well, I might just wrote a reply. About Chaser effect, I guess it's almost entirely up to you and your willpower to not relapse after sex, or why not just have sex again?

    but I guess my reply is moot, cuz I'm not in a relationship lol
     
    Tesslynne likes this.
  4. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    No,neither am I. But I still really appreciate your advice and i am gonna look up what you said. Thank you!!
     
  5. alphamale2003

    alphamale2003 Fapstronaut

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    what exactly is the chaser effect?
     
  6. Joe peasci

    Joe peasci Fapstronaut

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    U deal with chaser by adding meaning to this urge and saying to urself it is the strongest urge I will have to face in this journey, and so don't u want to overcome this urge for the purpose of adding confidence that u can overcome such a strong urge? the strongest of urges are the ones people relapse on but when I strong urge came my way I didn't want to waste it by relapsing because I saw it as something that would increase my chances of success given how tempting it was.. So for example: if the urge tried to get me to relapse by telling my mind u just pmod so what's the harm in doing it one more time(chaser)? I would then realize how this thought would keep coming if I didn't make the decision to not follow through and by not following through every time, I predicted the pattern of this thought or excuse to relapse would cause a transition to my subconcious so that at some point it would no longer be my problem.. For any excuse use it as an opportunity in this way so that the pattern of all excuses are compromised and that's what we call rebooted
     
    Tesslynne likes this.
  7. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Apparently, if you have sex you get a lot hornier and tempted to fap. Guys get it, not sure how many of us girls, one i know doesn't, I know I DO. ALSO, if you relapse you get hornier after or maybe it's more, oh well I relapsed so I will just binge?

    I don't know WHY it is called "the chaser effect" I suppose it is the effect that "chases" after sex or a relapse?

    For ages I TOO was like WTH is the chaser effect, what are they referring to?
     
    Dizzy Lotus likes this.
  8. alphamale2003

    alphamale2003 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the definition. After having sex I use to get super horny immediately after sometimes. I guess after the act your hormones can start surging.
     
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  9. Lynx93

    Lynx93 Fapstronaut

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    Well guys, given that I was expecting some answers I experimented myself and got to have sex recently, then I kept looking for more, talking with more people and getting into texting stuff until I relapsed.

    before having sex, although I had some urges, I could control them.

    After the experiment I suposse that chaser effect is something like when you are in hard mode the discipline is all over staying away from anything sexual.

    When having sex, it's kinda like you give in to sexual desire in a moment and then is too difficult to keep it strong for nofap when you have already had sex. That plus you wanting more for it... The chances of relapsing skyrockets.

    So well, I want at least a month in Hard Mode before looking again for dates.
     
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  10. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    I'm in "involuntary hard mode" at the moment anyway, in the sense of not exactly bombarded with worthy sexual offers ha ha - and that's fine either way - but it's really helpful to hear this. Thank you for taking one for the team and doing some research...OK I'm kidding about the research!
     
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  11. NicoRobocop

    NicoRobocop Fapstronaut

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    Willpower its everything, but day after sex its a bit more difficult cause you still fill araoused... you should focus on something else
     
    Tesslynne likes this.
  12. Sidd

    Sidd Fapstronaut

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    It's good to have knowledge of this chaser effect as it definitely was an issue for me and will be frequently in the future. I'm looking forward to seeing how I cope with this next time. With knowledge can come understanding and I was not aware of the chaser effect although affected by it.
     
    Tesslynne likes this.
  13. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Bumping this cos there is a possibility I MIGHT have sex this weekend, so JUST in case that DOES happen, I NEED TIPS, people!
    I wanna be normal mode but be able to stay the course. So, anyone who manages to do this, to have sex but also stick to NoFap,
    we need to talk. NOW. Please.
    This will also help others in that situation.
    I HAVE kinda been in involuntary hard mode since November. Had some relapses though.
    Point being, I HAVE experienced bits of hard mode.
    Anyway, I want normal mode but I wanna know - and others might too - how to be successful in that.
     
  14. stygian

    stygian Fapstronaut

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    If you are concerned that you are going to reset, maybe it is better to abstain? Do you want to risk jeopardizing the progress you have made so far?

    The much bigger question is, what is your reason for doing nofap and how will this impact it? If you are looking for a long-term relationship, what effect might this have, in a positive or negative way?
     
  15. Adria

    Adria Fapstronaut

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    In my case it kinda works like this, if I know I'm having sex again in like less than a week I usually make it through. If I don't know when or I know I have to wait I'm more likely to relapse.
     
    Tesslynne likes this.
  16. ayush

    ayush Fapstronaut

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    Guys i have some big questions
    I have heard from doctors that mastubating 1 times a week is good
    I have done big streaks before and i really had all the benefits all of themthem but after more then one year now of my reboot i am loosing faith on NoFap...help me
    And i dont feel any improvement in my stamina
    And how to manage the fucked up feeling that comes after reelapse...
    please answer guys
     
  17. stygian

    stygian Fapstronaut

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    I have not heard any evidence that it is good. Do you have any research studies to support it? I think it is your mind trying to convince you to relapse... Maybe you have not yet fully rebooted.
     

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