If somebody reacts this please help I'm addicted and confused!?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by lifechanging, Mar 7, 2017.

  1. lifechanging

    lifechanging Fapstronaut

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    I know this sounds bad but I have a love hate relationship with porn. Whenever I used to relapse I used to feel miserable and disappointed in myself. But now whenever I relapse i feel so good afterwards, but the next day I feel horrible, it's literally a drug to me. I want more and more of it. I really just wish I could change my life. I always tell myself before I pmo that it is okay to fap. And I get so confused because people always talk about fapping like it's a normal act, but in reality it's not I feel like I'm being deceived. I tell myself if I fap I can still talk to girls and make friends socialize, stay motivated and have better social skills, but once I fap no matter how hard I try to motivate myself or talk to girls or meet new friends I just suck at it, the energy is not there and I get negative thoughts . I don't know what to do!? Somebody please give me insight. I'm on day 3 here and I worked out at 5 am today and I feel great. I have so much planned before I go to work today, but I'm sitting here contemplating whether I should have a quick fap and get it out of the way . It sounds so good, people say it's normal, but deep down I know I'm gonna regret it happens every time. Or is it? Is it ok to just do it and go on with my day it can't be that bad right? Somebody please give me some advice here?!?
    I don't know if it's just me or fapping that kills my motivation.
     
  2. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    If you live alone then maybe you can put poster or sticker on wall as to why you dont want to fap. like sticky notes on wall with encouragement quotes that you read day in and night.
    i've read this book 'slight edge' that's good.
    we need motivation each day just like we need food and bath each day.

    growing a plant has helped me realize that it'll take time. slowly n steadily.
    ur already working out so that's good.
     
  3. Stollentroll

    Stollentroll Fapstronaut

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    I am not sure if fapping is generally a bad thing to do. To me it looks like you have not been suffering enough from it. If you had, you would know that FOR YOU it is not a good thing to do. I have been using porn right when I came home after work and mostly spent at least about 3 hours a day with it. On weekend sometimes days went by without doing anything else. After noticing that and trying to control it I realized that I am not able to control it anymore. When I just fapped once after for examle a week of abstinence the whole programm started again and I could not stop or control ist anymore. So I suffered unbelievebly from it. I realized how many years went by doing nothing much else than fapping and staring at the screen. We only live once and that is not the life worth living for. So FOR ME fapping and using porn is the worst thing I could ever do again. You must find your own very good reasons and to find reasons you only have to read what people are writing about here. You must make your own decision just for yourself and find out how bad fapping is for you. Only you can give the answer to the question you were asking above to yourself. No one else here can tell you if theres something else that kills your motivation to be more active. How could we. But surely fapping makes you satisfied for a while. And being satisfied sureliy has an influence not to go out and do things that might feel exhausting in some way.
     
  4. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    This is the point.

    Pro-Tipp: Go deeper inside of yourself and look in which situations do you want to take your drug?
    For example, it could be in situatons when you need to decide something. Or when you want to contact a person, but you fear to be rejected.
    Or when you feel fuzzy and unclear about your goals and plans.

    Monitor this for a while and try to change the underlying processes.
     
  5. kamau.mapple

    kamau.mapple New Fapstronaut

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    Its all about the Mind. the mind is a very delicate piece of you that needs to be taken care of . Watching porn is dangerous to your mind because the mind is a very dynamic and complex structure that is capable of creating destructive thought forms , of which the power of suggestion is misused and the abuse of your mind signals your brain to crave for pleasure, of which you instruct yourself to easily get it from fapping. The disastrous consequences from the short lived pleasure after fapping mount more pressure on your mind of which you try to escape from yourself by indulging in more porn to alleviate the disastrous guilt build up. wise words from our creator God, so a man thinketh so is he. Its from the mind , and changing yourself from not watching porn to total abstinence demands self discipline , and it all starts from the mind, get yourself from this evil activity that has built itself up in you. This demonic activity was well set out as a trap to lure your mind into deceptive programming , dont you ever wonder why many porn sites are free?????? Its to lure your curious mind into a trap very subtlety and capture you as prey. The devil is a very smart entity,. After porn effects always release negative energy into the universe, and this resultant energy in some way destroys you and many others..Kamau from kenya
     
  6. Solidium

    Solidium Fapstronaut

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    If you feel good, why don't you continue ? There must be something bad that stop you for a while, right ?
     
  7. Phibz

    Phibz Fapstronaut

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    I don't think fapping is "bad." Like alcohol or any other drug, there is a potential for abuse. Fapping, like a drug, is a pleasurable experience. But for some of us, it consumes us. It's not so much the act. But it's our constant anticipation of the act. We are consumed with lust. Always planning a "session" and binging. I wonder if the guilt doesn't come from our avoidance of personal growth. Instead of dealing with things that make us uncomfortable, we fap, drink, gossip, spend hours on facebook, etc...What would happen if we stayed uncomfortable? We'd eventually use that to motivate us to grow from that feeling. We'd have to be creative, because we want to grow stronger. We're like those children that are too old for toys. Yet we pitch a fit at having to put the toy down join the real world. Children that dont have the luxury of toys are generally more creative. They learn how to make their own. This creativity is carried over into the real world. Whereas we are still in pretend world, because our minds are lazy. Thus, the feeling of inadequacy and guilt. Just my own theory.
     
  8. Dutchman19

    Dutchman19 Fapstronaut

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    +1 to all the above. Another thing to keep in mind is that after a short time without it, your brain will literally start trying to make excuses - lying to you to get those dopamine hits. To me it's reminiscent of quitting smoking. One's brain starts justifying, minimizing the negatives and promoting the "if it feels good then just do it!" mentality. You have to always that your mind is lying to you, pure and simple. Remember when you were younger before you started watching lots of P? You were just fine and dandy without it; after a time away your brain will reacclimate to its new "normal" and you'll wonder why it was so important before! Watching that stuff messes with brain chemistry; it is a drug.
     
  9. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    People usually don't stop an addiction until the consequences of continuing are more uncomfortable than the consequences of stopping. For many men that usually happens when it somehow effects their relationship. Either they can't perform in bed or their partner is upset due to their overuse of porn. Some stop because it's effecting their work life. What is your motivation to stop? Why have you decided to stop? I think if you answer that it will help motivate you. Fapping is not bad unless it negatively effects you. And just like many other addictions some people can do it with no problems others get addicted. The only thing I would add is that many men fapped for years and never thought it was an issue as they were single. However when they met the right woman they realized they had really screened themselves up and did have an issue.
     
  10. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    I like this part. Our brain takes sensory input, processes it and then produces thoughts and actions as output.

    Therefore it is important to care what we take as first-level sensory input for our brain.
     

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