I know this sounds bad but I have a love hate relationship with porn. Whenever I used to relapse I used to feel miserable and disappointed in myself. But now whenever I relapse i feel so good afterwards, but the next day I feel horrible, it's literally a drug to me. I want more and more of it. I really just wish I could change my life. I always tell myself before I pmo that it is okay to fap. And I get so confused because people always talk about fapping like it's a normal act, but in reality it's not I feel like I'm being deceived. I tell myself if I fap I can still talk to girls and make friends socialize, stay motivated and have better social skills, but once I fap no matter how hard I try to motivate myself or talk to girls or meet new friends I just suck at it, the energy is not there and I get negative thoughts . I don't know what to do!? Somebody please give me insight. I'm on day 3 here and I worked out at 5 am today and I feel great. I have so much planned before I go to work today, but I'm sitting here contemplating whether I should have a quick fap and get it out of the way . It sounds so good, people say it's normal, but deep down I know I'm gonna regret it happens every time. Or is it? Is it ok to just do it and go on with my day it can't be that bad right? Somebody please give me some advice here?!? I don't know if it's just me or fapping that kills my motivation.