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IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU DON'T WANT TO KEEP TRYING YOU NEED TO READ THIS!!! IT'S LONG BUT WORTH IT!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Shyguy95, Oct 5, 2015.

  1. Shyguy95

    Shyguy95 Fapstronaut

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    Hello, everyone. Like I said in the title, it's a long post but keep reading. I’m 20 years old and I joined NoFap just a week ago. I don’t know what your goals are to get rid of this addiction and I don’t know how long you’ve been fighting this but if you desire it you will achieve it no matter who you are. Even though my streak without relapsing is short, I’ve learned a few things that I want to share because I know it will help someone in their own battle.

    For many, the hardest part of this battle is relapsing after a long streak of days without PMO. Most people consider it as a reset to all their progress but it’s not. You may relapse after any number of days and it is not starting over again. Maybe you finally reached two weeks and then relapsed, maybe you almost achieved a month without doing it but you couldn’t make it or maybe you’re even over a hundred days without slipping up but something happens and you relapse. Every time you relapse you probably think something like: “I thought I had finally started to beat this thing but now all my effort’s lost and I have to start since day one again.” Or maybe you think: “After all these days without messing up, I failed.” “Maybe I should stop trying since I’ll just keep relapsing over and over again.” Or maybe you think: “After all this effort, I couldn’t keep doing it and now I have to start from the beginning.” I have been in this situation before but I want to tell you that this is not impossible, and I know I’m repeating myself but relapsing isn’t starting over and it’s not like going back to the beginning. Let me say it in another way to make it sound better: Relapsing isn’t restarting the process. Actually, relapsing is part of the process of recovering. Remember these words: EVERY TIME YOU RELAPSE IS A CHANCE TO FIND THE WEAKNESSES OF YOUR ADDICTION. Every relapse is an opportunity to learn new ways of killing it once and for all. Think about it. How are you supposed to stop doing it if you don’t know what things make you relapse? For example, most of the times I relapse are because sexual images randomly show on my mind distracting me from whatever I was doing and tempting me to masturbate or watch porn. It took me a couple of relapses to realize this because I wasn’t alert or aware enough of what was making me do it. At first I didn’t pay attention to what was making me masturbate or watch porn. Remember that addiction is all about the brain controlling us. We’re like zombies controlled by our excessive carnal desires. Every time we relapse is like our body is telling us to wake up and assume control. At some point I started analyzing myself about everything that was making me relapse. Every time I slipped I asked myself what made me relapse. That’s when I started noticing the things that were making me lose control and I started taking measures like for example try to limit my use on the internet to prevent the risk of getting provoked by any sort of image, being more on what I choose to watch pon tv, closing facebook, etc. By the way, I’m not saying you should close facebook; I did it because I personally thought I could improve and it has helped me. It took me a couple of relapses to realize what limits had to be taken and now I’ve been improving. I’m more focused and alert when something sexually inducing appears before my eyes or inside my head. That’s right: RELAPSING INCREASES YOUR FOCUS AND HELPS YOU BECOME MORE ALERT WHEN ANY SORT OF PMO INDUCER APPEARS. You become more resistant against the addiction.

    Fighting an addiction isn’t just about how many days you can resist it, it’s about how much less you’ve been relapsing and about how you have improved. This isn’t just about breaking your record on the number of days you didn’t do it, it’s also about the number of times you had to relapse to get to where you are now. Perhaps you are stuck in a loop of 5 days. So you resist 5 days without relapsing but you relapse, then you do 5 days again and relapse, then you do 5 more days without relapsing but you slip on the next day so you decide to try again and you reach 5 days once again but you mess up once again. If you add all those days together, you have 20 days without relapsing and only 4 relapses. Maybe you’re thinking: “That’s a cheap way of lying to myself to make me think that I’ve done progress but the truth is I haven’t because I’m still stuck in the loop.” Or something like that. Let me tell you that this is not a lie. This is proof that you’ve made progress. Maybe you were stuck doing it once every day or twice or maybe even five or six times a day. Now you do it one time every five days. Even if you do it one time every two days it’s still progress. Perhaps you’re someone who can’t get past 25 days. So you try 25 days without messing up but after then you relapse so you try it again and you reach 25 days but relapse and next time you only manage to go through 10 days without relapsing. If you count the days, you’ve done 60 days without relapsing and only 3 relapses. If you analyze it, the number of days you relapse is smaller than the number of days you can now resist without doing it and yet you still feel horrible after relapsing just one time. Just think how many times you had to relapse before you got to where you are now. Ask someone who reached the goal you want to reach: “How many times did you relapse before getting there?” That person will probably tell you that he/she relapsed many times or that he/she has lost count because they were a lot of times. Think of this journey like a race. It’s a long distance before your goal and you may fall along the run but you can still stand up, keep running and even if you end in last place you will still reach that goal. If you fall in the middle of the race, would you consider that starting the race over again? No. It’s an interruption but you just have to stand up and finish. Maybe you passed 100 days and you relapsed and you start feeling depressed because you believed that you were finally rid of it. But even then, would you still think it’s like starting over? No. It’s not. That was just one mishap. You just have to continue running the race.

    Remember: You are not trying to achieve a larger number of days without relapsing, you are trying to get to the point where you don’t have to count anymore. Just think back how much you relapsed before getting that far. The important thing here is not to quit, it’s to keep trying no matter what. Everyone’s different and that means everyone has a different number of relapses they must have before being able to be 100% free of the addiction. Don’t just consider the times you have tried and relapsed, also consider the times you have not let yourself get tempted, because that is proof of the progress you’ve made, that proves you aren’t stuck at the beginning and that you’ve moved forward. Think of this like a book. Every time you relapse is like starting a new page but you can’t forget all the previous pages are still part of your book. Perhaps you’ve already done half of your book, perhaps a quarter of it but the pages aren’t infinite. One day you’ll reach the end, you’ll close it for good and you won’t have to keep writing anymore because you’re free. Maybe you haven’t been able to get past ten days but you used to do it every day and you’re stronger than before. Ask yourself: “Has the number of relapses decreased since I started trying?” If you’re reading this then you’re answer will probably be yes because you don’t do it every single day like you used to. In the beginning you used to consider masturbation a normal thing. You did it every day, you didn’t think you were addicted, it was a common thing in your daily life like eating and sleeping. Now it has passed from being something normal to being a “relapse”. Believe it or not calling it a relapse is progress. “How many days did it took you to realize that PMO is something that you should deal with in your life?” But it doesn’t matter how many because now you have accepted that you have to deal with it and you’re reading this. The next question will be: “How many times will I relapse before I get rid of this?” But it doesn’t matter how many. It could be a lot but the number will definitely start decreasing. You used to do it every day and now you don’t. At some point, the number of days you resist per week will be bigger than the number of days you relapse and it will keep getting bigger.

    In conclusion, DON’T QUIT! As long as you don’t give up, you will keep making process no matter how slow. And remember, relapsing is part of the process. You run, you get tired, you fall and you learn. Just keep on running and eventually you’ll be able to resist longer distances without falling no matter how slow or hard the process is. As long as you don’t quit you will always move forward. If you give up, that’s when you’ll be failing. You’ll fail me and all your fellow fapstronauts. In fact, I relapsed a few minutes before writing these last three paragraphs and my longest streak is only 6 days. Yet I’m still here writing this so don’t quit on me! I’m a human being that’s fighting this thing just like you. We’re all in this together. You are strong. You can do this. Wipe your tears, turn that frown into a smile, talk with a friend or with your accountability partner and if you don’t have one find one, watch your favorite heart-warming movie, listen to music that gives you peace, be happy but keep on keeping on :T

    Remember these three important facts:

    -RELAPSING IS ANOTHER CHANCE TO FIND THE WEAKNESSES OF YOU’RE ADDICTION.
    - RELAPSING INCREASES YOUR FOCUS AND HELPS YOU BECOME MORE ALERT WHEN ANY SORT OF PMO INDUCER APPEARS

    -RELAPSING IS PART OF THE PROGRESS.


    Note: I know that relapsing has caused a lack of motivation to do many things, depression and who knows what other things to many people and they need words of wisdom like these to help them on their journey. That’s why I decided to share this on every forum I see fit for it. I want this message to reach as many people as it can because I’m sure that someone needs these words right now. The words on this message don’t belong to me. They are yours to do with them as you like. Share it with as much people as you can.
     
  2. Shyguy95

    Shyguy95 Fapstronaut

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    That's right! Never quit. Don't underestimate yourself. We will make it.
     
  3. TemporaryUsername3892

    TemporaryUsername3892 Fapstronaut

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  4. Shyguy95

    Shyguy95 Fapstronaut

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