I'll be happy if you can help me,I have a lot of issues

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Black_Knight 1998, Jul 18, 2019.

  1. Black_Knight 1998

    Black_Knight 1998 Fapstronaut

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    Hi, brothers and sisters ❤️
    Sorry for my English it is not my language

    My story began a long time ago about 6 or 7 years I'm addicted to porn and I was trying to quiet but I couldn't do that time (once feeling so weak urge I would relapse) I was just a kid

    But 2 years ago I learned English and I found your community and begin to adjust my life and take control of my addiction till I could stay away from porn for the first 15 days and then I relapsed as always .

    About 5 months ago I could stay free for 60 days but I relapsed cause I had some compulsive thoughts about losing my potency ,
    by the way ,from that time I stay away from porn then relapse and the last relapse make me come here and ask for help which the thing I truly hate, I hate to annoy other people with my own issues but this time I don't know what I have to do

    I stayed in The last relapse long ,so long time

    In my last relapse , I normally watch lesbian,solo, and sometimes straight for the violence (I know it's wrong ) and long time ago I watched TS with girl and TS doing self-suck and I was close to watch bestiality But I stopped watching these stuff

    By the way, in the last relapse I watched (lesbian , TS with girls and TS doing self-suck and solo girl)

    And when I stopped I remember that there's (ts doing self-suck ) I didn't watch ,so I opened and every time I see video open it and then I stopped and went to sleep after waking up I remembered that there's other video for(TS doing self-suck) I refused to watch during I was watching other videos ,so I opened it and watched this videos and for sure some other video from the same type (TS doing self-suck and TS with girls) in addition to lesbian video and and solo girl (which I watched this before a lot of times) but suddenly there's something jumped into my head which is, there is other video of solo girl for the same actress but this time I didn't watch and said( no) i won't watch anything else and once the video of this girl had finished I closed everything
    And I realized that I will never stop if I continue in this way

    The questions

    1- does it normal to straight person to watch this kinda stuff ?

    2- does it cause I got tolerance to other stuff?

    3- do you think it's better to face your trigger or just stay away ?

    In many times I had a so strong urge and I could handle the only thing I couldn't but sometimes I could is (thinking and rationalizing)

    4- why does I feel so strange and fear cause of stuff I watched ?

    5- do you think going to gym will help or not ?

    6- I have porn flashbacks during important events of my day this will end right?

    I'm sorry for inconvenience
    But seriously I don't what I have to do
    And sorry for my poor English
     
    The Legend of Hope likes this.
  2. The Legend of Hope

    The Legend of Hope Fapstronaut

    HA HA HA
    DON'T YOU WORRY!
    I AM HERE NOW! Call me Deku or Hope I can go with any of those. My old fetishes are very similar to yours. Its okay. We will help you Whitedragon! But don't expect it to be easy or simple. Its not. When its difficult you must remember that it is supposed to be difficult. When there are easy times remember that hard times are okay.
     
  3. The Legend of Hope

    The Legend of Hope Fapstronaut

    The questions

    1- does it normal to straight person to watch this kinda stuff ?
    Yes it is "normal" your addiction wants a higher dopamin peak each time so normal stuff gets boring very fast. I am straight and I can tell you I was there too. And my interest in TS Girls and stuff really decreased with each step forward.

    2- does it cause I got tolerance to other stuff?
    Yes it does cause that. Don't you worry but dont get easy on yourself just because I told you!

    3- do you think it's better to face your trigger or just stay away ?
    To face something you need to have a clear mind and a strong ground to stay on. You can't give a addict his drug and let him philosoph about it while desiring it in the same moment. NO EXCUSES

    In many times I had a so strong urge and I could handle the only thing I couldn't but sometimes I could is (thinking and rationalizing)

    4- why does I feel so strange and fear cause of stuff I watched ?
    Because those extremes don't suit you. You start to question yourself. But thats not the right kind of question you are asking yourself if you think "Maybe I like this for real and just dont want to accept it"

    5- do you think going to gym will help or not ?
    YES! but NoFap is way more than just Workout cold showers and not watching porn. To free yourself you must change yourself. It will be painful and difficult but its possible.

    6- I have porn flashbacks during important events of my day this will end right?
    Yes they will end after you confronted your addiction and made it kneel infront of you
     
    Black_Knight 1998 likes this.
  4. Black_Knight 1998

    Black_Knight 1998 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks bro I couldn't imagine that there's one will understand what I'm feeling

    Ok sometimes
    I watched a movie I may feel aroused for it
    But I don't pay attention and go on
    Does it count a relapse ?
    Note:I only relapse if I still think about this
    scene and it may affect on me (if I have thoughts of that may affect it always end with relapse)
    And again thanks brother,
     
    The Legend of Hope likes this.
  5. The Legend of Hope

    The Legend of Hope Fapstronaut

    No this does not count as a relapse... but you can't fight back when you accept the enemy's presence in your mind!
     
  6. Black_Knight 1998

    Black_Knight 1998 Fapstronaut

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    Do you mean my enemy is just my thoughts?
    Note: I'm so happy cause I'm talking to you brother ♥️
     
  7. The Legend of Hope

    The Legend of Hope Fapstronaut

    There is one thing you should never forget while facing fear. You are never the enemy. Try to avoid those thoughts but dont try to suppress them. Just let them go away and get some new thoughts.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. Hey!
    let me just join in.
    Thoughts are not an enemy.
    For me it always helped to accept the urges and thoughts but never ever act upon them.
    I then lean back and let them be. Ask yourself:
    Where are they coming from ?
    Maybe you can dodge the trigger next time.
    One more tipp: Never rationalize your urges or relapses.
    Take them as what they are...relaple nothing else.

    Stay strong !
     
    The Legend of Hope likes this.
  9. Black_Knight 1998

    Black_Knight 1998 Fapstronaut

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    Dekuhope,
    Thanks brother for all of your efforts
    You could help me ❤️
     
    The Legend of Hope likes this.
  10. Black_Knight 1998

    Black_Knight 1998 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your advices ❤️
     
  11. Black_Knight 1998

    Black_Knight 1998 Fapstronaut

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    Guys I couldn't imagine that I'll get answers to my issues posthaste
    Thanks brothers for all your efforts ❤️
     
    The Legend of Hope likes this.
  12. Thats what we are here for!
    Helping eachother.
     
    The Legend of Hope likes this.
  13. The Legend of Hope

    The Legend of Hope Fapstronaut

    True Heroes don't just save lives but hearts too!
     
    Black_Knight 1998 likes this.
  14. Welcome to the community.
    You're describing porn escalation and it happens to us with porn issues.
    It will start to fade in time away from the influence of porn
     

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