I'M 14 AND STILL CAN'T QUIT.

I feel your pain brother. I don't have any magic advice for you, and doubt anyone will. All I can do is share my experience and hope you gain any insights from it.

Addictions are hell, and what makes them so tough is that they provide a short-term fix. You have to learn that while they help short-term, it's literally only short-term and they do A LOT more damage in the long run. Breaking the habit removes your short-term fix, while also bringing with it withdrawal symptoms. That's what makes it so hellish to quit. Don't expect anything good to instantly happen when you stop, because sadly, that will take a while. You may even feel worse when you quit.. It will help though. The struggle really is worth the benefits, I can assure you that. But you have to re-train your mind that PMO is not an option anymore. Sure, it may feels amazing, there's no denying that, but afterwards you'll feel like shit. Add the many other negative side effects, and try to focus on those rather than the good feeling. It's really not worth it, and your mind has to learn to understand that.

Also, quitting 20 times a month is very admirable but you may be putting to much stress on yourself. Breaking an addiction requires tremendous amounts of willpower, which isn't always available. And wanting to quit that bad, you will most likely feel even guiltier when relapsing. Relapses happen to everyone, try to remove the guilt from relapsing, and focus on your actual emotions and feelings. Why did you relapse, was it worth it, can you prevent it, questions like these. Write them down somewhere so you can read it back later, you might think you'll remember but actually reading your own thoughts is much more powerful and confronting. This really helped me a lot, along with other distractions (excercise, friends, school, netflix). Games are also excellent, but can also frustrate you into a relapse. So be careful with picking your game.


Good luck brother, and best of wishes to you. One day you will be able to look back upon this demon and be proud that you slayed it.

 

You won't like the honest answer but I will provide it.

If you are 14, first thing, is masturbation is okay, until you are ready to have sex. Lots of kids are basically ready at 14, so if you find a sex partner, then go all for it. That's what Carl Jung would have wanted (the greatest psychologist of all time).

Problem is porn is never okay. So pairing a normal (ESSENTIAL) activity with a pathological one will cause long term dysfunction in your sexuality. Do you read me son. Long term.

So either masturbate without porn or try to sleep with someone.

 

I'll also give you the same advice I gave the last 14 year old who posted something similar and that is you can still petition your parents for help with this.

You will feel better if you gain control through this avenue compared to using your computer to somehow force you not to do something like what seems like a lot of people want to do here is just get some program on their computer or phone to block their access and that's just not right you should be able to quit drugs and keep living downtown you know what i'm saying

 

Bro what do you mean 14 and "Still" can't Quit, You "Still" got your whole life ahead of you, Yes use all of those techniques bro , there is no excuse all the resources and tolls and support structures and accountability partners, and i like what @eric9000k said having having sex with a real physical human female to rewire and redirect your consciousness from the fake digital reality, and also let me congratulate you bro as you have reached rock bottom and seeking out help then you already know how painful it got and you are ready to get clean consciously and are ware of how it could destroy your life , when the pain gets so much to an unbearable point that's where the person decides either continue downhill in vice or "Choose" to move up and use all the resources , systems , tools , and structures that are available for free, like you know what to do bro , for real, change your day to day life-style to where it's impossible to watch porn , like studying with a group or being in the presence of your parents or being outside of the house, you're on the begging of the path to freedom and success, JUST START , you will never be 100% , and build momentum and maintain it throw adversity !!

 

Okay now, from my perspective i can understand what you are going through bro. It seems like your very chronic into porn and super addicted, so what i can cover up from my experiences and stratergys may or may not help you.

The very first recommendation i would tell you, is to delete social media - not fully, but the most trigerring ones: Instagram, Facebook, Reddit, Snapchat and the list goes on, maybe not the importants for contacting with your classmates or a specific app like Whatsapp or Discord but the "host and post" platforms, DELETE INSTAGRAM. Now i know right? Why would you delete your accounts(well you don't need to delete your accounts on these platforms but disable them)because you see these females in fashion, exposing their selfs for the money and fame. My friend, if they keep urging you to watch porn, then i highly advise to unfollow them or just delete the damn app. It will cost you to relapse over and over and over again.

Secondly, i know you have probbaly tried dozens of dozens places or spots in the whole world to breathe the fresh air, not thinking about pmo and etc(maybe probbaly you haven't already), but one thing is for sure keep socializing with humans, don't isolate yourself in your room although we live in the pendemic at the moment. This doesn't mean an excuse to just jack off all day, even though we nofappers get seriously intense urges and flatlines 3 times more than without this pendemic, it don't mean shit as an excuse. Now, go talk to your siblings, your mother and father, your classmates, your friends across the street, ANYONE to keep your mind occupied.

I myself am not a super fan of motivation, but dicipline beats motivation 100%. Motivation is where you get inspired or motivated by some celebs, motivational speeches in youtube or the nofap community. Motivation is where when you feel super excited to try like play the piano for the whole day of today and you probbaly want to play it tomorrow also, then what? Next day you feel tired, lazy not wanting to play it for just 1 second and just say "i'll do it tomorrow." Dicipline my friend, is key to solving the problems your facing, dicipline is where you NEED to do it everyday because it is HEALTHY for you to consume it. For an example, we go to school everyday because it is our responsibility to do it, our parents went their to find a job out there in the world and we MUST follow the same foot steps because we need to get that job for money, right? Then we must BE DICIPLINE in order to SUCCED ABSTAINING FROM PMO. If you don't want motivation, i ain't giving you motivation at all, this is DICIPLINE for you.

If it seems like you can't recover from porn, you keep relapsing all day over. Then start doing dicipline my friend, do it now.

 

I admire you for your determination and will power. I like the phrase "all things in moderation". To me success is not total abstinence for most people, but rather to grow in self control and self mastery. When setting goals it is important to be happy with intermediate goals. If someone was masturbating every day then to go every two days is success.

I was told and have observed personally that rock and rap music is sexually stimulating. Why not eliminate it for a day and see if you don't feel so less agitated and sexually stimulated. When the singer Michael Jackson would go on stage and start to sing he would grab his crotch. He said the music made him do it. I do believe the music we listen to influences us unconsciously.

People picture themselves in the action, adventure and porn videos that they watch because it some way they get to live it and experience it. I try to limit the amount of violent movies I watch because I don't want my mind and memory to be full of violence. I watch porn much less now because most of the time there is no caring, tenderness or friendship between the participants. I can't stand to watch some young person be intentionally hurt. You need reasons to not watch porn. Reduce your porn usage by refusing to watch cruelty or only watch friends who care for each other.

 

OMG! What sort of advice is that for a 14 year old!

 

Bro don’t listen to anyone here.
I see people misguiding.

However difficult or scary to admit,
Talk to one or both of your parents. Just do it.
You’ll get proper support, legit Guidance.

 

I endorse this advice @Moatasem. It can make a huge difference to get direct moral support and practical support from your loved ones. It will make quitting your addiction much easier.

 

The advice is see success with masturbation as gradual steps. Success is not perfection. When you set goals too high people give up and quit.
The advice with being selective about which porn to watch and which not to is two-fold. Firstly, sex is should be between people who care for each other. Secondly, being selective as to what we put in our minds and memories is better than letting the worst in.

 

There is no way that porn is positive. "Selecting" porn is perpetuating the addiction. Please, do not misguide the young.

 

decent?

anyway... you cherrypicked that out of context.
what I actually said was

Either masturbate without porn or try to sleep with someone. So yeah, I stand behind that, and won't be played by your little pony tricks. I don't care about your big time post count reputation either and your pleas to not misguide the young. You should have the integrity to quote people correctly and the wisdom to disagree with the actual message or how did you even earn the owl?

 

No, indecent!

 

Man, I tried telling my parents when I was younger. It won't help. Trust me, I regret doing it. They will tell you that if you don't want to watch it then don't watch it, it's easy. They will not help, I promise that you will regret it. The older generation knows nothing about porn or how it controls you, they just won't understand.

If you want something that can help, then try porn blockers. This is my collection that I gathered over the years:
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...ower-an-aid-easy-streaks.272658/#post-2490733

 

Okay, I assume you didn't catch the addendum. You can't even make a coherent argument about it.

 

Those who are 14 years old deserve to know the differences in sexual relationships. They should be encouraged to think and to reason for themselves. They should know that all sexual relationships are not dirty, evil or to be avoided. Please stop believing that not watching porn is sufficient advice. The young deserve to know why and to recognize the differences in a good or bad sexual relationship. Porn has examples of people where partners care for each other and porn has examples of prostitutes being tied up and hurt. Being selective in what you watch is using your mind and reasoning ability.

 

Oh, you think porn is some kind of sex education? You are delusional!

 

When I look at this thread, I see people who suggesting to "a 14 year old child" to have sex or selectively watch P . What a misguiding are these shit... Maybe you watch and follow "Porn Reboot" channel on YT platform, and maybe you got the advice from this channel that a "healthy sex life" will help you overcome porn addiction. Well, do you know these ?? -> Sex addiction is just as bad as PMO addiction and how many nofap user hit the flatline and chaser effect again after sex, do you know ? Also semen is your strong material, this is your life force... The Original Poster are 14 years old , don't say these kind of things to him man... .Also selectively watching P is the worst advice that I hear in my life...

@Moatasem These are my advice brother -> First of all, you should keep your willpower strong, this helps you to stay your hand away from your tool and not enter the P sites. Start doing things you don't want to do to improve your willpower. Study your lessons,do your best.Help your family, wash the dishes, made your bed, do some calisthenics etc... "The purpose of life is a life with purpose." So find your purpose, this is the important part...Also, delete all your social media except this site. FB, twitter, Instagram,YT ... Delete all.Stay away from technology, especially if you're feeling horny, put your phone in another room. In general, avoiding technology and games will always help. You must learn to enjoy life brother. Hang out with your dudes, play sports, listen some music, read some book...Even spending time with your family is a wonderful thing... If you ask me if I do all this thing, will I overcome my addiction without any problems ? Probably my answer will be No. This addiction is quite insidious, it will try every way to deceive you. I'm still dealing and fighting a lot of problems... I am still suffering because my addiction level was high... But you're younger than me and you have enough time to reboot. And i don't think that your are addicted as me.

Also an important point, you should know why you want to quit this addiction.Do you know the harm ? Do you know what it will do to you ? Write these question's answers on a paper and regularly read these.

This video will help you

 

Brilliant advice^ Well said!