I'm 16 and porn turned me into a gay exhibitionist

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Liminal, Mar 15, 2021.

  1. hahah yeah! Gotta spread those positive vibes haha
     
  2. I think people's sexual orientation and identity is not the issue here, but the negative addictive behaviors that have been developed under these times.

    I specially don't see why men being "faggots" would be something bad. Unless you are implying that not being straight would be a bad thing, in which case I understand your point of view, but don't share it
     
    Liminal and CarP like this.
  3. SuperBaowi

    SuperBaowi Fapstronaut

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    Wow. I've never thought of that in that manner...
    Hey friend, thank you for posting and sharing. We have a very similar stories so I could relate while reading. Feel free to contact me about anything. A few days ago I've decided to reach BetterHelp for online therapy because its cheaper and you don't need to go in person and explain to the family where do I go... Anyway you seems like an intelligent guy. I believe in you so you better believe in yourself!
     
    Liminal likes this.
  4. Liminal

    Liminal Fapstronaut

    I feel relieved that I'm not the only one who went through that but at the same time I'm sorry for anyone who experienced it since it's something that is hard to communicate to people who are close to us in real life, and I also have my reasons to think it's something that scars you deeply. I wish for you to break out of it man, I feel you. About the therapy, I've heard not-so-good things about Betterhelp in the past, I might be wrong so take it with a grain of salt, and if it's helping you, keep going for it, but if the reason why you're not going to a specialized psychiatrist is because you're afraid of the judgment of your family, you're misguided. I know it's hard to talk about it, and I'm probably the last person who should lecture you about this, but, unless your family is close-mided and doesn't care for you as much as a healthy family would (which is something I would understand since, if I talked to my mother about this problem, being that she has always tended to belittle every one of my problems that I'd talk about to her, she wouldn't take me seriosly and would just say it's puberty or whatever), you should talk to them and just tell them you have a problem. It would not be an easy or a comfortable thing to do, that's for sure, but it would be a first step. But if you know as a fact that your family would judge you negatively for it then sure, I suppose you'd know better than me how to approach the situation, although, being an adult, if I were you I wouldn't bother myself with what they'd think and I'd just go to in-person therapy since it tends to be more effective and successful than other forms of mental support, but obviously I do not know you, nor your condition nor do I pretend to, so I am obviously not going to be the one to tell you what to do. Just thing about it though alright? Best of luck friend, stay strong.
     
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  5. I understand your point, I just would like to add that the use of the word "faggot" could be offensive to some, specially in this forum; but thanks for clarifying.

    All the best, man!

    I also haven't heard the best of BetterHelp, so I agree with you haha
     
  6. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Don't blame it on porn. It's your fault.
     
  7. Randombro

    Randombro Fapstronaut

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    Did you had sex or are you virgin?
    If you had sex how did it feel for you?
    Was it exiting for you? How do you felt after it?
     
  8. Liminal

    Liminal Fapstronaut

    I'm aware it is and I am trying to fix it.
     
  9. Liminal

    Liminal Fapstronaut

    that's a pretty weird question lol.
     
  10. Randombro

    Randombro Fapstronaut

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    To figure out if you are gay or not lol
     
  11. Liminal

    Liminal Fapstronaut

    No, I know for sure that I am not a homosexual. I do not feel any romantic attraction towards people of the same sex, nor did I have sexual attraction for the opposite sex, which in my case is a compulsive behaviour (when relapsing I'll always start by watching girls to actully get me in the mood since people of the same sex don't arouse me sexually, then I'll start wanting to express my exhibition fetish, with people of the same sex being the bi-product of this process, since girls aren't interested in seeing d**ks on the internet). This fetish has started in the last months, as my addiction got worse. Being used to the "usual" hardcore material, my brain wanted something more, an interaction with others, which, since it couldn't express itself through real life sex, expressed itself through exhibition of sexual practice to other people in an attempt to gain the same dopamine rush it used to experience with the usage of the previous material.
     
  12. RiverBlue

    RiverBlue Fapstronaut

    I get this. I said in another thread, porn is lonely. You do it alone and you don't tell anyone. So camming is a way to feel less alone, make some sort of connection, and get some validation. It doesn't really matter whether it's from a female or a male. That's not the point and doesn't necessarily reflect on orientation.
     
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  13. Paragraphs are your friend
     
  14. dandausa

    dandausa Fapstronaut

    Totally understand this. I was basically on this same trajectory. I stopped at pegging/women with dicks because at that point I wanted to kill myself and I could see where I was headed, I really didn't want my life to be this cycle where all I ever did was jack off or get high till I died. :-( I would say from personal experience as you start relapsing less your life will become about actual life and you won't need more and more taboo things to get off. I walk with quite a few people in this addiction and one of the things I've noticed is that we just stop being so sex obsessed. Sex starts to fall into its proper place. Instead of being like I gotta get high getting some people watching me jack off, instead I can enjoy going for a hike or enjoy a nice walk, or just enjoy working on a little hobby project. It's so nice. So just know on the other side of this addiction is a beautiful thing rather than the sad state of where it may feel we are today. We can be different than a vast percentage of our societies. It is possible. :)
     
    Baowistop and Liminal like this.

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