I'm 18, handsome, but I'm lonely and virgin.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by HellVorn, Dec 18, 2019.

  1. HellVorn

    HellVorn Fapstronaut

    [I edited this text in order to add a bit more depth to it so you can understand better about my story.]

    First of all, If I call myself handsome, it's because it's true and it's in no way to brag. And because of that, it makes my story even weirder than anyone else's. It's the first time I'm sharing this story with anybody, so it feels very weird for me.

    So, why the heck am I still virgin at 18 if I'm that handsome?

    Here is the full story:

    When I was younger, maybe around 9 years old, I had an accident that caused me the loss of one of my testicle plus the curvature of my penis. I don’t really remember what kind of accident it was. This period of my life is a bit unclear. Anyway, it’s not very cheerful.

    And that’s just the beginning. This accident resulted in me having no possibility to have sex with any girl and this shit will kill my confidence later on. That’s also where my porn addiction comes from. When you are 9 years old, sex isn’t involved yet, so this problem wasn’t a big deal after all, until middle school. Generally speaking, with middle school comes your very first masturbation and thus, the discovery of your body you know. What an amazement for me to see what was my dick. I don’t really know if this is really the cause of my low self-esteem and low self-confidence back then, but it surely is one of the main reasons. So at this time, I was shy, not confident in myself, and I couldn’t talk to anybody without blushing, especially with girls. I was really weak. But I still had 5 to 6 friends alongside, as well as a social life sometimes, which wasn’t the case during high school.

    So now comes high school, the worst part of my life and at the same time, one of the best. I’ll explain this later on.

    Anyway, in high school, things were getting worse, excepted that my confidence as well as my self-esteem were on the rise, thanks to self-development. But this thing isn’t so important when you can’t fuck girls and partying. Like I said before, I didn’t had any social life in high school and it’s still the case today. I only had two friends. Moreover, I hated school so much that I would end up crying in my bed from time to time. Everyday was a fucking nightmare. The boredom, nobody to talk to, stupid teachers that don’t give a fuck about you, everything sucked. This feeling was subdued by my rare interactions with my two friends, but still. Why do I didn’t had any social life? The answer is rather simple: having a social life was impossible for me because of my incapacity to fuck girls. A social life leads to meeting girls, and meeting girls obviously leads to having sex at some point, but I couldn’t do that even if I wanted. My two friends were outcasts in some way, so there wasn’t any risks with that.

    It feels horrible to see something that you can’t touch.

    Seriously, imagine a 9/10 guy standing here with a blank stare, while all the girls around are waiting for him to talk to them. A girl once talked to me but she rapidly understood that I wasn’t interested, even if I was, deep inside. This girl was a 8/10 and she had a great personality too. There was at least 5 girls in which I was interested during high school, but again, I couldn’t do anything. So this girl has given up with me and I understand her. It’s pretty weird to see someone like me doing nothing in order to make the conversation going, especially when you consider that this girl was fucking hot. Unlike the 14 years old me in middle school, I was able to talk to girls without any problems. No, the real problem was that it wasn’t possible for me to make a move. So at the end of high school, I was still virgin, no more friends, no social life and I never got into a party. I never kissed any girl too, I never got a hug from a girl and so on and so on. I still got my degree however, so at least I didn’t get through all this shit for nothing. If you see it like that, it’s pretty sad yes, until I talk about what happened in parallel.

    Back in the days, I thought of this problem as a fucking curse, but now I consider it to be a benediction too. Why? Because unlike many teenagers of today, I now know exactly what to do with my life at the age of 18. This thing turned me into a more introverted person which permitted me to discover myself. I did a lot of self-improvement during this period. I also found my true passions and what I love, I now have many goals to accomplish, my mindset has become a growth mindset and my vision of the world in a whole has change for the better thanks to hundred and hundred of hours spent on the Internet. While others were partying and having fun, I was working on myself and on my future.

    If I succeed in my goals (and I must), I will have all the fucking time I want to focus on my social life, fuck girls and have fun. Because yes, my problem is repairable, otherwise I wouldn’t call it a problem as it wouldn’t have any solutions. For my testicle, there are implants. And for my curved penis, there are many solutions too. I will repair all this mess later once I will have money. I didn’t talk about it with my parents as I’m really too afraid to do so and anyway, it’s a bit too late in my opinion.

    So what's next? Well, I will continue to work on myself and on my goals while rejecting every opportunity I have with girls, like I always did until now. I will also work on improving my social skills. Like this, I will not be a complete loser while entering the game for the first time.

    Anyway, I was really hesitant to talk about this with you all. But now it's done. God dammit, I must admit my story is really weird. Thanks for reading though. I just wanted to share this somewhere on the Internet to feel better.
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2020
  2. [​IMG]

    thought you were going to say because you were asian. i unfortunately dont have any opportunities with girls due to social and awkwardness skills, until maybe i go to college.
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  3. PappinAce

    PappinAce Fapstronaut

    You lost a testicle in an accident and your parents don't know about it?

    Well, you say it's reparable so no rush. You're 18, I'm guessing you're about to embark on university / apprenticeship / career in some form, so your road to self-sufficiency should be under way soon enough. Should be just a few years and then you'll have the funds or insurance to make the repairs. In the meantime, as you say, you've utilized the situation to focus on the core of yourself, whereas most guys your age are letting their hormones hijack their intelligence. Sounds like it's not a problem for you. So you're already orienting yourself to life in a way that's deeper than the merely physical.

    Continue to cherish your purity. No hurry to lose your virginity; it's not something that's weighing you down, regardless of what the rabid masses might tell you.
    HellVorn and SuperiorMan95 like this.
  4. SuperiorMan95

    SuperiorMan95 Fapstronaut

    Wow man, if you overcome this, it will be truly inspiring for me.

    I have some similar issues and here's how I deal with them:

    I am handsome too but my penis is genetically slightly deformed. It's called a "chordee" and basically it gets hard and works alright but it doesn't stand straight up (it just hangs even though hard) and the base is a bit weak. I've still banged over 40 women and never had any complaints. My penis is still long and the thickness is okay, it's basically average. But it doesn't stay very rigid especially during certain positions so it kind of limits what I can do. I've spent A LOT of time imagining what it would be like to have a perfect penis but here's the thing: This is the penis that God gave me. Will I get it fixed sometime when I'm older? Maybe but for now I don't have the funds nor the desire. I can still get hard and I can still do a reasonable job.

    My biggest mental shift came recently when I finally told myself: "Look, you can't say that you are gifted in the cock department but you CAN pride yourself in being a great LOVER." Because I am. I am a great lover. I am sensual, good looking, great kisser, great at eating out, fingering, touching, everything. Not to mention psychologically I have some good skills too and I'm only getting better from here! So now when I approach a woman, in my mind, I am saying "I am a great lover and I know you will enjoy what I have to offer. I am confident in my sexual skill!" This is my new mantra. And if some girl doesn't call me back because my penis didn't feel the way she wanted it, so be it. You can't please everyone.

    I think you should take on a similar mentality but I must admit, it does seem slightly more difficult from your side of the equation as the condition seems a bit more severe. But I think it's doable. I heard a girl tell me recently that the best sex she ever had was with a guy who had a tiny penis because he overcompensated in other ways (great cuninglingus, etc) that she was mesmerized. If I were you, I would find a woman who is not too attractive, someone you feel psychologically comfortable with, and just practice with her. Be honest about your condition and tell her that you want to find ways to become better in bed. I'm sure she won't mind.

    Good luck :)
    Deleted Account, Bobske and HellVorn like this.
  5. HellVorn

    HellVorn Fapstronaut

    I didn't expected such a benevolent and warm comment bro, I'm touched. Like I said, it's the first time that I share this story to anyone, and seeing that there are people with a similar problem make me feel less alone. Thank you for sharing this with me! :)

    But your penis seems very okay compared too mine. When I say it's bent, I mean it's really bent and I think that I'll not be able to do any sexual position with this thing. If you add this to the fact that it has been a complex during my entire high school years and is still today, you can easily understand that this problem is pretty hard to overcome...

    By the way, how old are you?
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2019

    NF SINCE BIRTH Fapstronaut

    Well, with your penis out of your way you can focus on what really matters: A good relationship built on respect and trust.
    There are tons of ways of having intercourse without having to use your penis. If you make it all about her she will love you for that.

    You are only 18. It may feel late for you but it really isn't. Just dont waste these best years of your life on worrying about your shortcomings. You where actually unfortunate but I know this huge black dude. He got charisma, he got Colgate smile, he got everything. But he has a small penis. When he starts to get a girl really turned on he has a really smooth way of telling her that "well what you see here and what's down there doesn't quite match". He is still getting laid.
    crazybutconscious and HellVorn like this.

    NF SINCE BIRTH Fapstronaut

    And btw: I also had some problems not too long ago. My right ball was the size of a handball. Really, really huge. I had to go trough a surgery and of course I had complications. Had to go to the ER and have another surgery because of an infection. My balls are still larger than normal with some ugly looking scars from the surgery. I am not worrying about it though. If a girl thinks that how my junk looks is important then I rather not be with that girl.
    HellVorn likes this.
  8. SuperiorMan95

    SuperiorMan95 Fapstronaut

    I'm 24 man. And yes, it does sound like a tough situation, more severe than mine but don't let it hold you back. I also agree with the other comment. Don't worry too much about girls at this stage of your life. Since you know that your issue can be fixed with surgery then it may be good to simply save up the funds and work on yourself in the meanwhile. I still think you should mix in the approach that I mentioned regarding finding a woman who isn't too attractive and simply practicing with her. There is no reason to deprive yourself completely of all sexual experiences. You're 18 man! Now is the time! You don't want to enter the game with no experience of women.
  9. HellVorn

    HellVorn Fapstronaut

    I'm constantly working on myself, but this, this is a very hard thing to do for me. How can I approach women with this kind of problem? I will not be confident with them since I know sex is almost impossible. What's the point after all? I thought about it for a very long time and it's impossible for me to take action. I'm sort of paralyzed you know. I know myself. I know that I'm unstoppable when I have a goal in mind, but this is way beyond my power my friend.

    Oh and for the surgery and all, I will have the funds, don't worry too much about it my friend. :)
    SuperiorMan95 and NF SINCE BIRTH like this.

    NF SINCE BIRTH Fapstronaut

    Not all women are as obsessed with sex as you may think. Just get to know a bunch of people I guess. Maybe you meet a girl you fall in love with. When it comes down to business you can always think of alternative ways of doing it. I heard of a dude who lost his penis in a car accident when he was six. He got married and eventually after 20 years or so he decided to get a penis to satisfy his wife. Dont give up just because of that. Its just in your mind. People shouldn't judge you and if they do they are not worth keeping anyways.
    crazybutconscious likes this.

    NF SINCE BIRTH Fapstronaut

    Just be honest about it. It shouldn't be something to be embarrassed about. It is out of your control. I believe people will respect you if you are honest.
    HellVorn likes this.
  12. brilliantidiot

    brilliantidiot Fapstronaut

    Just out of curiosity if you don't mind telling, how did you lose a nut?
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.

    NF SINCE BIRTH Fapstronaut

    Its a nasty story but he got stuck under the school bus and his groin got crushed against the concrete as it was driving.
  14. StonePlacidity

    StonePlacidity Fapstronaut

    true love can be spiritual, not physical.

    You just need to wait for it.
  15. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

    Haha. Asian , hahaha
  16. i_have_pizza

    i_have_pizza Fapstronaut

    I don't know about testicles, but I spoke with a lot of people with bent penises and I have seen them and I must say, maybe you will need to find right pose. Maybe some people around you like exectly straight penises. But it totally not means, that you can't have good sex, actually. Many people with this problem has it and don't care. All your problems inside your head, not inside your penis. Think of it in other case. What is the worst scenario? U're metting the girl from your city, u're going to bed with her in hotel after date, and when u're removing your pants she is screaming and running way. The only one thing you lose is money. Actually, except mentally, it will not effect you in any way. You will be able to live, how you lived before, and trust me u will find someone fast, who will just don't care about form of your penis and testicles and will just enjoy sex with you.
  17. arodriguez

    arodriguez Fapstronaut

    You need to fix your social awkwardness first, before going to college in order to get more colleagues first
  18. First: my advice is shittier then the other members. I was the testoterone teen that the other guy talked about. I was stupid. But...

    I believe in you when you said that you are handsome, but some girls prefer to date guys that are the funny type, our intelligent geek type, or the skate weed smoker type, even if they are not handsome.
    I consider myself ugly to so so (lol), have alo of acne, but some girls had a crush on me when i was teen because i look like a calm, cool guy, and want to meet and know the girls i was dating. I want to be like Sasuke.

    So, take your time, find a girl that you like, then start flirting with her if you have the will to do that. Trust me, most of girls wont even look at your balls when u are making sex. And even if she did notice, i dont think she would find it repulsive or leave you...
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2019
  19. My dad didn't lose his virginity until he was 26. He was always handsome and still is today at his old age. He said from there on after his first time having sex, he has "gotten laid more times than I've had warm meals." Don't worry, sex will come (especially for handsome mother fuckers like you).
    crazybutconscious likes this.
  20. yeah... i have been working for about 2 months and that hasn’t really changed. i laugh and socialize with my co-workers, but we still have mostly nothing in common is my biggest issue. so its kinda awkward being alone with one of them.

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