I'm a little worried about telling my husband about this site

I don't get triggered here at all, but then, I've been clean quite a long while.

Perhaps be with him when he forum reads? He can get some good info here, but yeah, wouldn't do to have him triggered.

 

I don't get triggered here at all. This is a safe place for me to come to when I feel temptation. I will sometimes go to the NoFap subreddit and that is filled with all kinds of triggering details. Many people who post here leave out many of the details that would be a trigger, and many of those details are very clinical and not very salacious. Some journals contain some very private details but those details are what others can relate to.... they don't feel so alone or weird when they find others who share a story similar to their's. I find that most people here are very mature and discerning about the details they provide.

 

If it's so bad this site might trigger him, he needs to be here all the more.

 

This site only helped me.

 

Boyfriend said coming here might trigger him so I came and got hooked. Hah.
I'm his researcher. If I find something interesting or meet someone we can related to, I'll go home and we chat about it.

 

I have seen some people discuss how there are triggers on this site, however moderators are looking to help this by well...moderating...it is not a free post anything you want forum.

Personally I have not been triggered by this site...much the opposite, been encouraged seeing the success stories, as well as the newbies as I know I started once at that point. Also a lot of good relationship advice. Seeing the care expressed by the SO's definitely excites me to try to do anything to make her happy.

Site has been a good thing for me rather than fighting it on my own for several years. Did make progress on my own, but then there was no community I could reach out to if I had one of the low low days and ended up moving backwards. Once for a very low point of about a year.

 

I worried about the same, triggers are different for everyone though, I feel this site is fairly safe.
My husband came on here recently (I had to persuade him as he would rather not think about these sites being relevant to him, and he only wanted to read the forums about effected wife's, not sure why but he said knowing how destructive it is and reading about it is better for him then reading other guys experienced.

 

Because then we're not "one of those guys," but rather some lofty chivalrous ideal. It's a case where the addicted mind can actually (in the end) direct you to the correct place, and ultimately defeat itself. Mine did that when I was still making selfish decisions based on a cost-benefit analysis. This was actually quite a new realisation, just yesterday as I was writing one of a new series of very long letters to my wife (first two are each over 30 pages). After the situation becoming much more dire, and then some reasonable length of abstention, the consequences of my actions became more clear, because my perception of the world became more accurate, and realistic. The actual reward of the orgasm also became less distorted - I recognized it would be a temporary, and partial form of minor relief to the urge, but that it would not give me what my reward system was insisting I would get from it. I also now had, based on simple logic of "I must do this to stay married," ending the addiction as a high value target. This was all still selfish, addict-like thinking, and it wasn't the thinking-system that was good, but rather the truer perspective and better analysis of reality I had gained that were good. These turned the addicted brain, ultimately, against itself, because the self-serving interest now became congruent with what was right. So, I think it's similar in your husband's case of "well I'll read the stuff about women's experiences because I care about my wife, not like those pervs that don't care." It's similar to, before all this disaster happened with my wife, when I tried to do this on my own, in secret, with no help, because I wasn't one of those guys that needed the support of all those pervs. I wasn't like them, right? Duh, of course I was! lol. But I wanted to think I was better. It sounds like you're past this point now? Anyway, it seems like a different expression of the same neurocognitive phenomenon that happened with me.

 

Does your husband know that he has a problem with porn?
Does he want to get better?

 

often I felt the same....cause repairing the damaged caused was one of my main drivers...