My life is a joke. Take this as a warning or whatever you like. My porn addiction began at age 12. I sufffered abuse and neglect as a child. I developed a porn-induced anal fixation by the time I was 16. I was a virgin until I was almost 19. I met a girl at a party a week after I lost my virginity and slept with her as well. I could not finish. We were both young so I got away with faking male orgasms for the first three and half years of our relationship. I know it sounds insane. I lied and kept this a secret, even after we moved in together after 8 months. I kept it going while we built a life together. I'd watch in my car and at work. I could probably pass a test on pornstars. I hit a low when our relationship went south, and I told her everything. She stayed. Then she left. Then she came back. Couldn't forgive myself, so she left again. Tell me why I'm the fuck I should ever deserve love. I've watched porn one time in the last six months, but I'm full of information I don't want. I jerked it to women who disgust me and all the while had a beautiful and loving girlfriend who I betrayed and never knew me. I was a good boyfriend in every other way, but I cannot justify this shit. I can't live with it. Tell me why the fuck I should ever get love from anyone. I'm a fucking joke. I don't want the images or the memories. Stop now. Get help. You'll ruin your life.