I'm abstaining from PMO, but I don't believe in NoFAP

That's what happens when you work on the basis of trial and error alone, and believing or not believing. That there may be multiple variables imply you need to understand the overall picture or at least try adjusting a number of things at the same time - if it's only one thing, whether it's quitting or starting will not do it. Trying one thing is far too simplistic and I don't think a lot of people will get clear results if they don't investigate beyond that kind of single factor thinking, if it can even be called thinking. Fortunately we are always with ourselves so we are in a good position to be aware of the various factors if we pay attention.

 

luck is what you attract from positive thinking. If you want to be lucky. think positively.

 

I don't know who "they" are but the reverse is true.

Older guys reboot more quickly than younger guys and it certainly doesn't take years. So, you are ahead of the game.

 

Man, PMO is just an addiction, it will not turn your social life upside down when you get rid of it. The best thing you can hope for is to have more free time, energy and will to socialize more. Most of us here are not doing it because we want to score with ladies, we're simply addicts who recognized that we have serious problem. Many of us suffer from anxiety, depression, PIED etc. and we want to get better. It's one thing to recreationally watch porn as 90-95 % of men do without any or minimal harm and totally another ball game to be in the 5-10% of population who does it compulsively and can't stop. That's us miserable pricks. All we are hoping for is to get rid of this time consuming and exhausting addictive compulsive behavior. Everything else would be a bonus. We don't expect to become Casanovas, we'd just like to restore some normality in our lives.

 

Of course that doesn't mean abstaining from PMO doesn't work, it may very well be needed along with other factors to work. So trying it alone and it doesn't work for any given person does not mean it is not relevant, just that it alone is not enough.

 

If you could be more specific about what you don't understand I could rephrase it.

 

I don’t disagree that LMS helps a lot of people but I’m also not going to assume that’s the only reason someone could pickup women as a porn addict. I’ve seen men who have none of these things still pickup women. I will say a great sense of humor goes a long way and women love to laugh.

Thanks for the clarification. It’s understandable that you want to pair bond and feel loved back. I think Most of us want this as well.

No not necessarily. There is a difference between the fear of vulnerability and the fear of intimacy. Some do not have a fear of vulnerability which deals with trusting enough to make friendships or start a relationship; the key word there is “start”. I think all porn addicts have problems with keeping healthy long term relationships because we all struggle with a fear of intimacy.

I think people’s various beliefs will determine this. Some call it luck, coincidence, God, etc. I believe there is a force that we are ultimately at the mercy of. We can train for an event with all of our strength but can never guarantee we will win. We can have tons of experience, interview skills, and a great resume but cannot guarantee we will get the job. It’s a humbling reality that we cannot guarantee a lot of the outcomes in life.

Since this is your thread it doesn’t matter how I determine what is right. Based on how you deem right from wrong, I assume you’re here because being a PMO addict doesn’t help with fulfilling you, correct?