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I'm addicted to porn and I need help

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by mkr, Mar 15, 2022.

  1. mkr

    mkr Fapstronaut

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    Hey,

    I have been trying to stop using porn for many years. I'm 33 years old and the first time when I watched porn, was maybe at the age of 9-10. I think I was hooked right away.

    I have managed to be without it sometimes for weeks and at its longest for more than half a year. Something always makes me fall again and I'm so damn tired of this. I'm shamed and really inexperienced sexually with women. I know porn makes me feel bad but i still can't be without it. Especially during those six months, when I was without it, I noticed that my self-confidence and well-being improved a lot.

    I have a very addictive personality and I'm also an alcoholic. I stopped drinking 11 years ago and smoking 10 years ago, but for some reason I haven’t succeeded in stopping porn.

    I need help but porn addiction is still pretty poorly recognized. There is not much talk about it in our country (Finland) and it’s pretty miraculous.

    Maybe this could be a place to write about my feelings and get support.
     
  2. Don'tLookBack

    Don'tLookBack Fapstronaut

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    I believe you can overcome this. I myself don't have the secrets to overcoming it because I still haven't gotten past 25 days without it, but I will be here to support you!
     
  3. Veg plot

    Veg plot Fapstronaut

    Hey, it looks like you've been a member on here for some time so welcome back if you've been away :)

    Same age as me, and what you've written really resonated.

    I hope that porn addiction will finally lose some of the taboo in talking about it and become more recognised, as with high-speed internet it has become an incredibly potent "drug" for some.

    But until that happens, this forum is a great lifeline to know that you're by no means alone.
     
    til_im_free, thikk and mkr like this.
  4. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    That's funny because my favourite Nofap Youtuber is Finnish(I think). You should check him out as his videos really help a lot.

    "Project Stronger Self" is his name.
     
    Headgoodrin and til_im_free like this.
  5. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    Alcoholism can be a big thing in the North for a variety of reasons.
    Seems to me that you're still looking for a thrill in unhelpful places, so all I can suggest is that you gradually change your behaviour until you (maybe) eradicate the problem.
    It takes time and effort, but you know that (at least in theory).
     
    til_im_free likes this.
  6. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    Also, if we tell ourselves that we have 'a very addictive personality' then we believe it. I've told doctors that I have depression and even ADHD, and they have agreed. We must try to become more in control than that.
     
    Euclidean Geometry likes this.
  7. Furozima10

    Furozima10 Fapstronaut

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    Porn is one of the biggest drugs, even more addictive than Alcohol, or anything

    It touch the Reward system and make the Brain thinks that he found a Golden mine

    The constant novelty is what makes u hooked at the first place


    There is no miraculous recipe to stop Porn, but to have Strong will power.

    Ask your self why you want to stop Porn?


    Write the benefits and the disadvantages of quitting Porn, and then whenever you fell like you want to watch Porn , look at the writing you just wrote.

    Also write a goodbye letter to Porn, some did it, and made them quit it for good.


    Here is my own Letter that says good Bye to Porn:

    Note to myself before I relapse
    So you are having a hard time today. You cannot control your thoughts and your mind keeps racing to your fantasies. There's no stopping the physical urges and you know the moment you step into the shower you're going to give in.

    Well here's how this will play out. You try your best to shut it out but not completely. You still want to indulge in the thoughts a bit just because they feel so good. You start some edging. Now there is no looking back. A little more...then a little more... aaaand you're done. Most likely the orgasm won't be very intense. You will feel a sense of relief more than anything else. 'Now I can go back to my work', you will say. That wasn't so bad. I don't feel much shame. It was good because now I don't have to think those thoughts anymore. There's really no point denying yourself to such an extreme.

    When you sit back to work, it will be almost as if nothing happened and you're raring to go again. You will start feeling the energy drop in about an hour. You will feel the onset of a mental fog. This will develop into an anxiety. The anxiety is not because of the fapping. Its your natural response to the energy drop. An energy drop for no apparent reason. Why?? Nothing bad happened to you. No one told you off. You didn't have any bad thoughts. Everything was ok until an hour ago. Well something must have happened since I'm feeling slightly unwell now. Now I cannot concentrate so well. I wish I didn't have to get any work done. I just feel like sitting back and watching some TV.

    By the end of the day you will have not completed your tasks for the day. Your defense mechanisms for procrastination will kick in. You are now behind the curve. Realizing this will cause some more anxiety. Your mental state is now completely at the mercy of external factors. How much work can you accomplish the next day? Will you run into any roadblocks? Does your boss talk to you nicely? Do you peers acknowledge you? Is your wife having a bad day? Are the children behaving well?

    You are on a roller coaster now. If you are lucky it will be going up. But the chances that it will go down is directly proportional to the amount of anxiety you feel. Here's where it starts getting murky. Going down will generate more anxiety and the more likely that your ride is bumpy the next day. Depression now kicks in. Your mind does not want to engage with anything in case it makes things worse. You don't want to meet people. Your brain is in shutdown mode but the realities of life means you have to keep functioning. Getting up and go to work. Take care of the kids. Clean. Shop. Interact with the world.

    You will get back on track. Because a part of you is pragmatic. And because we have good days too. You will look back and think about how you wasted those 2 weeks. So much work could have been done in those 2 weeks. You need to get your act together. You are not where you want to be. Its all because of fapping. You decide not to give in again.

    Will you?
     
  8. mkr

    mkr Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the comments.

    It really is important to me, that there is a place to write about my feelings. I think this is going to be quite a roller coaster.

    It's good to take this one day at a time.
     
    thikk and Veg plot like this.
  9. Furozima10

    Furozima10 Fapstronaut

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    Very few men instinctively understand that pmo harms.
     
    thikk likes this.
  10. Furozima10

    Furozima10 Fapstronaut

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    Dear PMO,
    When I first met you back around thirteen years ago when I was 11 years old, I was astonished, amazed, confused and pleasant at the same time. You made me feel like king of my world. Our bond gradually became stronger and stronger with every passing day. Initially for almost 2-4 years I never regretted being in relationship with you because honestly I did not know about the commandments of my religion about you. Anyways, I started spending my day and night with you. Your were always there whenever I was happy, sad, depressed, anxious, angry, loved; you were with me in my every feeling and to support me.
    But I did not know that you were not supporting me rather you were making me coward, selfish, cruel, evil and animal-nature human being. You were and are a fake illusion which would never become the reality. Why I was happy being with you because you numbed me, you worked as an anesthesia for me. You made me sleep everytime (close eyes) and to never look the world, the challenges, the real competition. You were and are a devil beauty, a bad dream, a fake reality, a false belief and a cruel, no-heart, selfish and sugar-coated poison which I was eating for the the thirteen years.
    Today, when I look back to see what effects you have made on me, I realize, you have snatched my health, my memory, my religion, my career, my character, my skills, my reponsibleness, carefulness, smartness guinessness, my dreams, my sacrifices, my thankfulness and specially 'myself'. You have made me mere your slave that I can not live without you and in return you have and are snatched/ing my last thing left with me i.e. my soul i.e. you want me to die so that you will become successful in the mission you were on for 13 years.
    But now after deep realization of the evil you have done to me and to millions of people around (known through Nofap community), I am writing the first and final letter to you.
    I am not interested in this relationship anymore. I want to be free out of your prison. I don't want to be your slave anymore. I want to become master of myself rather than you.
    Remember it was 'YOU' and NOT 'ME'. I was always loyal to you but you were with me from day one, only to betray and destroy me.
    I hope you have understood as I am, that its time to move on. You can find many other people for your play but I make sure you will never return in my life. I will sure be the happiest man ever once I break-up with you as I am right now.
    Yes dear, I am breaking-up with you. There is nothing left to work-on. Its too late to clear the misunderstandings. Its my last request to please never come back in my life and take all your memories and people who make me remember you, with you. Also take all your belongings with you (i.e. multiple inter-connected addictions/habits)
    I hereby stating that I am breaking-up with you for eternity.
    NEVER LET ME SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN.

    Good Bye Forever.

    Your Ex,
     
    Miro9996 likes this.
  11. mkr

    mkr Fapstronaut

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    It's good to know, that I'm not alone on this.
     
    Buddhabro2.0 and WaltraudWalkup like this.
  12. Z.e.n.o

    Z.e.n.o Fapstronaut

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    You can do that! You are on a good way to succeed.. some interest in real women can destroy pornographic ones..

    Are you male o female? In both cases your profile pic is a provocation for this forum purpose o_O or you may put some naked woman, while we're at it..
    You want to overcome? You want support? You may begin that way! No more sexual profile pics.
     
    hsb0617, Veg plot and mkr like this.
  13. mkr

    mkr Fapstronaut

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    I'm feeling that, surrendering is important in admitting this problem. I have tried hundreds of times with my own willpower and I have never succeeded. Admitting this problem has been too shameful, but it's great to know that there are others who have suffered or are suffering right now from the same problem.

    Thanks for your encouraging comments.
     
    Veg plot likes this.
  14. mkr

    mkr Fapstronaut

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    I’m a little surprised at how easy this has been so far. I haven't had much desires to watch porn. Although, I know they can strike at any time, so I need to be careful. I've just took this one day at a time and tried to do something I like every day.

    I'm not going to stop masturbating but I want to get rid of porn permanently. Using my own mind while masturbating is "harder" but also way healthier, than using porn or pictures.
     
    Grey Pure likes this.
  15. mdz

    mdz Fapstronaut

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    Congrats for stop drinking and smoking. I stopped snuffing tobacco, and it was harder to quit porn.

    Think about this: Nothing good can come from porn (and addictive behaviour in general). You buy 10 minutes of happines and sacrifices days, maybe weeks of unhappiness, anxciety and depression.

    In worst case it can escalate in rape, selfharm, pedophilia.. etc.
     
    hsb0617 and mkr like this.
  16. Nikounik

    Nikounik Fapstronaut

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    Porn is far more hard to overcome than alcohol and cigars because it is always there, one click and its there. For alcohol you must go out but porn.... Once click and 5 seconds and your dopamine is gone and no support for you because nobody believes in porn addiction. Try instaling the blockers on phone and pc or whatever you are using. Keep posting here.
     
    sam30 and mkr like this.
  17. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    Well done for getting on the journey to be clean. However, I would recommend that you just do a 90 day hard mode if you can. Often, peeking (even social media use) and allowing masturbation etc just cause relapse. If you recognize that the problem is big in your life you can afford to do 90 days not touching yourself. Good luck.
     
    Buddhabro2.0 likes this.
  18. mkr

    mkr Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your views. However, I'm not going to stop masturbating. Sexuality is part of a healthy humanity, and I don't feel any need to stop masturbating for any period of time. My problem is porn, and I need to get rid of it permanently.

    The enthusiasm of the first couple days is now gone. I have felt a little bit of depression and anxiety. Maybe these are the feelings that have always made me seek out my addictions? Going through these feelings is part of my recovery, I guess.
     
    hsb0617 likes this.
  19. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    Ok bro, good luck.
     
    mkr likes this.
  20. mkr

    mkr Fapstronaut

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    I'm feeling pretty nervous. I think this is because my brain is not getting that dose of dopamine it used to get with porn. It is good to know that this is part of recovery, or else these feelings could become overwhelming and lead to relapse.

    Writing here has helped me. I have tried this hundreds of times on my own but now i dared to ask for help. It is really relieving to know that there are others who are going or have gone through these same things and feelings.
     

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