I'm addicted to porn that relates to others having sex with my wife

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by ChrisE, Oct 9, 2019.

  1. I understand. Ive been there as well. One of my favorite things to do was share pics of my wife with other men online. I liked skyping with other guys and showijg them her pics while we talked abiut what they / we would do to her. We would masturbate on cam while we discussed it. And like you, one of the main things i was interested in was double vaginal and double penetration. Idk why the attraction to that particular action was so great, but it was. On top of that I wanted to clean her up (with my mouth) once the guy had finished in her. Crazy stuff to think about now. Even though ive been off pmo for a while now, the thought of some of that stuff is still interesting to me.
     
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  2. Wugazi32

    Wugazi32 Fapstronaut

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    Yea, I don't know why I find it such a turn on...double vaginal penetration. Just the concept of it, and I just loved staring at videos of it for ages.

    Really sick concept really, animalistic in nature.
     
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  3. You watching two people (two subjects) have sex, regardless of whether or not one is your wife, does not inherently mean you are objectifying anyone. I think people need to seek to better understand the idea of objectification. (however, even if it was objectification - which it isn't - isn't inherently wrong within the context of sex. If everyone is on board for a sexual act, then that should be a-okay.)

    These very same scenarios (where one watching his wife or her husband, or her wife or his husband) make up a quite healthy sex lifestyle for some people. But what is seen as healthy for one may not be for another. Perhaps it's actually not healthy for you and/or your wife. That could be true. It also could be healthy but your perspective or "frame" of the entire thing is causing you to have some mental/emotional stress over it. Oftentimes in modern society we're told "this is bad" or "this is weird". And most people then go along with that. But that doesn't have to be the case inherently with all things. Sure, some things are objectively wrong; i.e. Adults having sex with children is wrong because of the power disparity and that we understand kids aren't equipped to make those kinds of decisions (regardless of sexual age/arousal). A man enjoying seeing his wife getting fucked by other guys is subjective. There is no inherent wrong in it. However, IF you can't find a balance between that arousal for yourself and having a similar arousal when you're with her, that is IF that is a problem for you and your wife, then, yes, the overall scenario is problematic. I'd work on trying to find a way to enjoy both without having to 'force' it when you're with her. Seeking some sex counseling could help with this. However, there's also nothing inherently wrong with preferring your wife to have been just recently railed by another dude. That is, if it doesn't cause problems in your relationship. I. E. If you're both okay with that. You should talk this out with your wife.

    Hit me up on here if you'd like to discuss this more with me.

    All the best,

    Lucas

     
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  4. Zer01991

    Zer01991 Fapstronaut

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    I'm starting to have these thoughts too man. I'll never let it get as far as you have. But just know you're not alone. Porn has caused several men to start developing this sort of behavior. I wholeheartedly believe that porn has caused the rise in cuckolding. 10 or so years ago cuckolding was damn near unheard of. Just know you aren't struggling alone. You're in my thoughts buddy. Stay strong. You can beat this and come out the man you always wanted to be.
     
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  5. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    I have kind of been here too. Not in real life. But the fantasy has played out in my mind a lot. Early on I would like to share pictures of my wife, non nude, online and seek approval from strangers and ask what they would want to do to her and what they think of her. Sometimes it would get to conversations about what we could do together and so on. I hate it. It’s not me In real life. I’m a jealous guy. I would want no part of a man in real life even checking out my wife. But online, it’s a huge fantasy of mine and I’m wanting to overcome that. Right now I have no desire to watch porn. However I do still have the desire sometimes to post non nude pictures of my wife, or her in a bikini or underwear and ask for approval or what men would do.

    And why? What do we expect the answer to be? Of course that man would have sex with out wife. He is a horny man, looking at P. What else do we expect them to say? After finishing I always feel guilty and delete everything. And then sometimes return.

    We were separated last year for awhile and the thought with my wife with someone else after we decided to try to work it out, furiates me. So why think of it as a fantasy?
     
  6. Sante364

    Sante364 Fapstronaut

    yeah. I know a thing or two about this. Way off the deep end for me/us.
     
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2019
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  7. Sante364

    Sante364 Fapstronaut

    I have a lot of experience in this. However it may be different from yours. Important question: did you become swingers before heavy porn use, or after? In my case, crazy sex including group sex with my wife at the center of attention, was more about me satisfying my addiction for porn by making my reality be like porn.
     
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