Im afraid of acting out. Help me please

You only lose your virginity once.

 

Well, it depends which virginity the dude is talking about, fam.

And to the OP, I can't saying anything that the other's have not mentioned or said, however, I do wish you overcome your anxiety and horniness.

 

It would be precisely "the same thing" if I needed financial remuneration or favors to roleplay with my partner, it would be exactly the same if I had to do it in order to survive, it would be exactly the same thing if I had to fake enthusiasm at roleplaying with my partner as well as his friend, his father, my upstairs neighbor and any random guy who has (or just borrowed) the money. It would be the same indeed, if by roleplaying with my partner, I would win in "competition" with another person who would otherwise roleplay with him. So no, friend, it is definitely not the same, and never can be.

 

you only lose your virginity thrice then.

 

I spent ages fapping to prostate-related stuff - really built it up in my head. One day my wife my wife obliged. I liked it very much but it wasn't anywhere close to what I'd built it up to.

I once got a BJ at a massage place. Young, single, few drinks - why not. It was 'OK' and nothing more. Afterwards I felt a bit dirty and lamented how much money I'd spent and how awkward I'd felt during the experience.

I suspect you will end up disappointed that it doesn't live up to what you've built up in your head - you'll just be left with the negative thoughts of the how and why.

As much as I am tempted to get an escort at times, it's these thoughts that stop me.

 

The mouth, the ass and the D? That's a lot of vriginity for one guy.