I'm afraid of what i could become without pmo...

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Exadict, Jan 3, 2019.

  1. Exadict

    Exadict Fapstronaut

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    (Sorry for my english, it's not my first language.)

    I'm not even sure if it belongs here but i need to talk about it somewhere since i think it's one of the biggest reason that make me relapse again and again..

    Let me put you in the context:
    I'm 19yo almost 20, i fap since i have 7/8 yo and i've become really addicted to pmo when i was 16, i didn't have any job and i was bored so i start to create many porn accounts (twitter, tumblr and many pornsites ). i watched and post (not my own stuff) porn all day long, i was into almost all things: extreme torture, degradation and humiliation of both genders, incest, rape, zoo etc... and in the end i've fell into illegal stuff (that was one of the reason that make me try to stop it). It's been 1 year since i try to stop it but my longest streak is only 15 days.
    It might sound very stupid but i'm afraid of what i could become without porn and sexy stuff in my life, this is the only thing i've ever known, i have zero experience with girls and the only very rare times i had an occasion to date one i refused and watch porn instead... i don't even remember what my life looked like before porn...

    What should i do?
    In the last year i tried almost everything: meditation, exercise, read, try to stay busy but nothing has really worked...
    And i really want to change, i have big plans for my life and i know i have to quit porn to reach them but i'm just...lost.
    I think very often that i should completely give up, recreate all my accounts and try to live with it but i... i just don't know...
    I've even noticed that i start to have some erectile dysfuction with any kind of porn wich is scares me alot since i never had a gf and when i have one i want to be able to perform, but even knowing that i still don't know what to do anymore...
    ...
    What do you think i should do?
     
    Flyhigh likes this.
  2. Hand Jive

    Hand Jive Fapstronaut

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    I know how you feel. Just take it day by day and know you are doing the right thing. If you do you will ready when a gf comes.
     
    Exadict likes this.
  3. A lifelong addiction that starts so young leaves scars. I won't go into the reasons why here, but…

    Go get therapy. You need professional help. I've written before about this. There are many therapies to choose from, so don't delay.

    I know that it's scary, but which is scarier — signing up for therapy, or living the rest of your life alone, with a non-functioning penis, no sex, and deep depression?

    Just do it.

    And, of course, commit to NoFap.
     
    Exadict likes this.
  4. El Monko

    El Monko Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, I don’t know what to tell you but yea looking for help is a good place to start. From personal experience. I would recommend reading the Bible. It will give you a moral code to follow between right and wrong. Whatever you do don’t allow yourself to remain in your current state. A life in jail is not where you want to be!
     
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  5. Exadict

    Exadict Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the support my friends!

    yes i start to think is the best thing to do, i'll see.

    It's funny you tell me that since i received the bible few days ago, i just want to study it, i'm not christian but... yea maybe it will give me some moral codes or idk, at least it will keep me busy for a while...

    You're right and deep inside i already know that it's just very hard sometime, especially when depression hit me.

    Thanks for the advices guys!
     
    El Monko and Flyhigh like this.
  6. Fighter X

    Fighter X Fapstronaut

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    It's okay man i also fall alot and in my country it's almost impossible to build relationship with girls unless you go and propose (lloll) so for most of the time i felt that too that i will not find and alternative to porn but let's be realistic,that's not the life i want too,man and neither you do since you are better than that you are a human being that deserve more attention and love , this pixels and pornstars are not ideal , their life is miserable and a mess . and that's not the people to be admired of , so my advice is if this was accessible to find someone to help you like a therapist or a professional so he can talk to you regularly and cure the scars that kept growing for years,keep it up (i'm addicted since i was 13 so iam addicted for 9 years and i hate porn and i only releaspe because my brain need dopamine and only that but deep inside i hate it with every inch in my body and i want this poison to go away , just keep it up bro
     

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