I'm Afraid

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by harryray96, Jul 25, 2019.

  1. harryray96

    harryray96 Fapstronaut

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    Hey,I am 23 years old.
    Been fapping for 10 years(From age 13) and severe fapping is for 6 years.
    Been trying NoFap for 10 months and have gotten to max of 12 days only till now.
    I can't do it.
    I have tried everything, every strategy but mind betrays me always.
    Now my head aches when ever I fap but still I can't stop it.
    Help me please.
    Help!
     
    Coffee Candy and Deleted Account like this.
  2. gzoztra

    gzoztra Fapstronaut

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    the only thing you should be afraid of, is not trying!
    and don't hate yourself or put too much pressure on yourself, it's a process.

    look at this that way, I wish I could only fap once every 12 days, that's a huge step forward to regain control on your life!
    right now I can't hold myself more than half a day without fapping
     
  3. VanGuy

    VanGuy Fapstronaut

    Hi, I just put a post on my journal about a similar problem I had.. mainly 11/12 days was pretty consistently my failure mark.
    I set up small goals of only 5 days at a time and just worked to achieve that.. I’m clubbing it. 50 days tomorrow and getting easier.
    Anyway it may be worth a try. Just mark 5 days ahead only as your goal and when you make that .. mark another 5.. sounds too simple but it has made a big difference for me. It also improves your motivation as you build a record of success rather than looking at a distant future goal
    Hope this helps.
     
    harryray96 likes this.
  4. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button |Day Counter | Rebooting Resources|Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
  5. harryray96

    harryray96 Fapstronaut

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    I know bro, but I tried that one too.Still somehow or some way I end up fapping. But I like one thing about myself that I am proud of is that I don't ever feel like giving up on me, I still feel it can be done, I just don't know how yet.I don't have my "How" big enough to push me through this journey.
     
  6. AlexReborn

    AlexReborn New Fapstronaut

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    I't very hard I know...but the fact you have been strong for 12 days is a big achievement! I am new to this forum, today could be my first day that I chose not to fap. But it's only 10.30 am and I am struggling a lot...so well done to you!
     
    harryray96 likes this.
  7. harryray96

    harryray96 Fapstronaut

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    I wanted to ask a favour from you guys. Ok. So I am beginning the NoFap Again and I will write my experiences daily here
    Hey, I have started doing it again and this time I am applying your trick.Let's see where it gets me.I hope it works.Day 2 btw.Thanks for the suggestion.
     
  8. VanGuy

    VanGuy Fapstronaut

    Cool man..best of luck
     
  9. harryray96

    harryray96 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man I wanted to ask.How does it feel after 50 days, I mean is it awesome.Please share your experience.
     
  10. VanGuy

    VanGuy Fapstronaut

    Hmmm..
    Well to be brutally honest. The short answer is yes and no.. it’s not so much of battle right now.. but I’m starting to think it may not ever go away completely. At the age I’m at, porn has been a twice daily(min) ritual for 30+ years one way or another and it’s just really imbedded.
    I was thinking about this today..

    I don’t feel the urge to rub one out like before BUT it is still there..I do still think about scenes.. which I thought would go but they don’t...
    BUT instead of acting on it I do know to catch it and change the mental channel or even just ride it out without acting.
    It bothers me though because I think it’s only going to take one time of weakness and I’m back on the merry go round...

    The tape strip idea works really well for me as I see how far I’ve come and it looks real close to the 90 goal now... positive motivation.

    But here’s a problem.. 90 days was my goal.. what then?
    Do I celebrate by masturbation (without porn) or am I just done with it?
    I hate porn now and think I’m done with it on principle.. I just don’t want to be that person I was...

    I’m sorry I can’t give you a super positive ..I feel great and don’t ever think about PMO or Porn answer but it’s just not true.

    What I can say is that I really like myself a lot more now and I don’t want to lose that feeling self respect... you can’t underestimate that shit.

    I am definitely attracting women more now and I think that has a lot to do with my attitude towards them and also my feelings of self esteem are coming out more in other areas of my life.

    In a weird way.. I don’t have women on a pedestal anymore or at least as something to be attained.. not sure if that’s a good description but I think when everything is about looks and sex appeal you tend to really objectify women and it really affects your interactions.

    The other thing I would say that has changed the most is that I’m busy as all hell in my life everyday because I’m really focussed back on my personal goals and not wasting time on Porn.

    This is also very attractive to women in the real world...

    So although this may not be what you want to hear.. the bottom line is that even writing it, it makes me never want to go back..

    And yes I do feel a whole lot better... but not cured.. I hope this isn’t too negative but it is my experience.

    ... and thanks for your question it’s motivated me heaps thinking about how far I have come.

    I hope you get here soon as well

    ..that’s another thing 60+ Days doesn’t seem like much now I’m here.. it really isn’t that long looking back.. hope this helps
    Best of luck with your goals✌️
     
  11. I think many here feel as you do, VanGuy. This needs to be done one day at a time, not looking at it as 90 days or 6 months or forever... I, too, feel more confident that I can avoid P, but M calls my name often, and if I start, I tend to want to focus on something that will help arouse me, and if I start searching for anything, it will become obsessive again...
    I know this will be a struggle for a very long time, and after doing well for 80 days and then many falls with less days, loss of motivation, etc., and getting back on track, I think this is possible! Praying for you all.
     
  12. VanGuy

    VanGuy Fapstronaut

    Thanks man, yes that’s my concern.. every time I failed It started the same... masturbation.. then maybe I’ll just watch that nice porn over there... next minute I’m back watching the porn equivalent to crack cocaine... anything shocking.. funnily enough that’s something I’ve never mentioned.. a couple of times I failed I went straight back into the real hardcore stuff just to get the most value for money before I quit again.. crazy stuff.
    I believe it is certainly possible.. I will 100% get to my 90 days.. after that I’m hoping I just get so busy in my life that I let it go and get on with enjoying the real world..
     
  13. It's possible to stop, it takes effort and discipline, and anyone can start to practice these two attributes. No rocket science needed!
     
  14. flor3334

    flor3334 Fapstronaut

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    I think the biggest solution lies in changing your mind, "brainwashing" it every day. I've never had long streaks, 16 days been the longest so far, but every time it was because I read a lot about this stuff every day, so it acted as a firewall. I remember one time I was reading and practicing a book about NoFap and I had a streak of 10 days. Then the book was out and I put it on the shelf. I already knew now I am gonna fail, and yes, when you let it go for just a little while and take the stance of the world in this matter (i.e. masturbation is healthy, normal, good etc.) then the fall will be fast. So...on day 5 now of NoPMO and I will brainwash myself everyday multiple times a day until my firewall will be of stainless steel.
    Good luck, freedom is out there.
     
    VanGuy likes this.
  15. Hey welcome to the forum! Nice to have you alongside us fighting the good fight! : )

    I strongly advise you to be active on your profile; start by choosing an avatar and then make daily posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you

    encouragement/support.

    You should also highly consider creating a public journal (in the appropriate section[<-- link] for you ) and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along on your journey!


    ★People love to communicate in the profiles section and also the journal section. These are 2 of the most important sections. Also, we could always use your helpin supporting members around the forum and in return you most likely will receive some as well!


    Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
     

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