I'm almost on the 15th day. What should I expect? What should I do?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by galaxim, May 24, 2014.

  1. galaxim

    galaxim Fapstronaut

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    Hi! Short introduction:

    -10 years addict.
    -I don't have a girlfriend, but I've the emotional support of my loving family (I don't talk about PMO, but I talk about everything else).
    -Never went beyond "normal" porn, boy-girl.
    -I haven't seen porn since April 1st.
    -I haven't MO, edge nor nothing related in 14 days.
    -I have a working routine, that I follow strictly (excercise, studing, cold showers, etc) every day.
    -I've used this sheet of paper (that I made myself) to help me: https://docs.zoho.com/writer/published.do?rid=jqmi4a3dfbba597dd471d9ef9bdf9716f94b6
    -I'm reading Prochaska's "Change for Good".

    My question is: what do I have to expect from now on, regarding bodily functions, brain chemicals, emotions?

    What strategies do you recommend me to use to keep on going without any relapses?

    Anyone can answer, but I'd like very much to hear opinions of those who have reached the month and beyond.

    Thank you for reading this.
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2014
  2. ankurkool17

    ankurkool17 Fapstronaut

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    Best feelings will you get are Self-Esteem, Confidence, High Energy, Manliness, Challenging,Less Emotional Drama, Dominance,Great Sex with Wife/Girlfriend,Less Chances of premature Ejaculation.

    Use the high Energy into some sports, Bodybuilding,Push ups or any Exercise.
    Listen to Rap,Metal,Pop loud music until the urge go away ( no chicks song), video games, Listen to comedy channels/tv shows specially with laugh track, Comedy movies without any sexual reference.
    Drinks lots and lots of water when you get hard on, and pee eventually you'll loose the wood definitely.
    If you have severe urges,Open the laptop/PC and start reading motivational stuff on nofap.

    Good luck !
     
  3. galaxim

    galaxim Fapstronaut

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    Thank you ankurkool17, but since a few days I'm not feeling strong urges. What you said adapts better to the first days of abstinence, I believe. That's why I was asking for this period of time in particular, as now I feel OK (I know I'm not "cured", that I have to keep fighting every day), but any words on the subject are welcome.
     
  4. stygian

    stygian Fapstronaut

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    In all honesty, don't expect anything and don't "do" anything differently to what you have already been doing, unless you feel otherwise. I have gotten past 15 days multiple times, longest streak 29 days. But there are people here who discuss feeling nothing for two months and those that describe major changes at one week. With my journal partner we both experienced different feelings/urges at different times; sometimes I went a couple weeks without a strong urge during a time when the other person was having a hard time, and vice versa. Each time I recycled I learned new things about myself and changed more aspects of my life. The issues I had to sort out might be very different to you. Several times I got complacent -- things were going really well and I thought I was done with the addiction, I didn't have urges for a long time. But then they would come back. Or I would get complacent and fall into some bad habits. I've seen a number of others mention the same thing, and even after long periods of time, going out months and months. It will start with missing exercise for a few days, then eating less healthy, other aspects of the routine change... All of it seems innocuous at the time but one falls back into PMO addiction. So one of the really important things is to keep up the habits. Do not let yourself get off of them for any reason.
     
  5. galaxim

    galaxim Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much for your response stygian. It really helps to know that I've to maintain this same routine (which is working) and not let my guard down. Actually, I don't have any good reason to leave this routine: I'm excercising everyday, taking cold showers that are helping me to sleep well (I've always suffered from insomnia), meditating and not losing time looking around articles withouth content in the internet. But I know what you mean; it's very easy to fall, or to stop doing "good" things because we feel tired that day, or because we start to procastinate: "I can meditate towmorrow, right now I really have to check that newspaper". Actually, that's the thing with automatic thoughts: you don't stop to think before acting. Prochaska suggest making a list to counter this type of thoughts with rational oriented ones, in three columns.

     
  6. LegoT

    LegoT Fapstronaut

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    It's probably going to be different for each individual. I was a fairly mild porn user much like it seems you were (still an addiction none-the-less). the first 20-30 days were the worst! That's the time when your mind is still going through withdrawal and you think about porn all the time. The best thing to do is have strategies in place to keep your mind from thinking about it. Also find stuff to fill the time and replace that bad habit of porn use. You have to substitute the bad habit for a good one which it seems you're doing. I personally started doing more art and reading and exercising to fill boredom. However it seems like you're already doing this.

    Later down the road it got easier for me. There would be times of stress where my mind would want to go back to porn occasionally since I would use porn to relieve stress. But for me it gets easier. You while every girl you see will be attractive, (for me) it isn't a hyper sexual attraction just a general admiration of beauty and not an "I want to have sex with that" type of thing.

    I find myself much more carefree and less depressed. I am loving life without porn and I won't go back.
     
  7. galaxim

    galaxim Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, man! I really appreciate all your insights! I know that I'm still far from rebooting, but I don't want to go back either. For me it was like having a constant noise in the backround, that now has been turned off.

     
  8. LegoT

    LegoT Fapstronaut

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    That's a really good analogy. I would almost picture it like a little demon sitting on your shoulder chattering away about sex all day long. Ignoring it sucks but after a while he shuts up. The silence is definitely better ;)
     
  9. galaxim

    galaxim Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I've also imagined the addiction as a monster that you must stop feeding. Eventually, the monster will die of starvation. Also, when you look at "innocent" pictures of women on the internet, you're opening the gates of your brain for the monster to lay its eggs. Then the relapse starts growing slowly inside you, until is too late to control it. That's why we must always mantain the doors of our brain closed. Or at least, we must put a guard to keep the gates. If the visitor is an enemy, the guard must kill it.

     

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