I'm an addict. I seek for assistance.

Hi, names TwoSided.

IF YOU GET EASILY TRIGGERED, PLEASE LEAVE THIS THREAD.

I'm an addict. I'm addicted to 'PM'. I want to stop it.

I've tried a lot of streaks. My longest had been around 29 days. Two days ago I broke a 19 days streak because of having a bad headache of fighting against the urges. I've tried way to many times to stop but wasn't ever able to.

I always tried to make it happen on my own, but I realised that I need to seek for assistance to stop my addiction.

I've been addicted to porn since I was around 11 years old, I'm 21 now. Whenever I'm doing 'PM' I get disappointed, aggressive, stressed, ... on the next day. Even my physical appearance gets bad, looking pale, not smiling, not caring about my appearance, long nails, oily hair, eating less.

The aggression is the worst things about it. I've been rude to my mom yesterday.

I'm not into the normal kind of 'P'. I'm not feeding the 'P'-Industry. My fetish goes for the animated kind of 'P', the perfect bodys and dominance in .. you know. The fact that there is 'P' for anything since it is animated, it's hard to not think about it whenever I see any kind of trigger.

I'm just feeling lost and not knowing how to make my addiction stop.

I tried a lot of things, Wim Hof meditation, blocking the 'P' sites, being around people a lot more. But I still have situations where I'm being alone in a place and knowing that no one would know if I'd 'PM'.

I don't even know what I'm asking you guys of the NoFap Community about, I just want to stop it.

 

We're almost all here for the same thing. I think that the only way to battle an addiction is to be REALLY read for it. It means you've hit bottom, and genuinely want to change your life. If that's the case the only advice I can give you is to make up some ground rules about how to behave and cope with the withdrawal symptoms and temptations, and keep in touch with fellow addicts for help and advice.

As you can see from my counter... it's a struggle. But hang in there and you'll make it!

 

What you are trying to do is behavior change, it is hard to change behavior. But it is a skill that you can develop.
You have to start with small behavior changes that you can do and then you can develop the skill enough to tackle more complex behaviors.

What does that mean?
Start by doing 10 pushups per day. No matter what day it is, no matter how tired you are if you have not done 10 pushups today - you are not going to sleep. In fact put a note on your bed - and if you did not do the pushups by the time you get to your bed - do them then.
After few weeks - you will realize that you do 10 pushups - every day, you are reliable - its exiting. Your self esteem goes up, you can tackle more.
So make it 20 pushups and keep your desk clean.
Now you do not get to sleep if your desk is not perfectly clean and if you did not do 20 pushups.
Gradually that will be part of your normal life.
So whats next? You define that.
This is a process of learning how to develop a skill, you are able to face reasons why you cant do 10 pushups and you will learn to understand how to deal with them as silly as that sounds.
You learn how to deal with problems and setbacks and still get your planned behavior done, after some time - you can be confident enough to take on large project like stopping porn.

And in the process you may realize you started to workout, cook dinner, clean your bed and much more.

 

I feel this post man. For me, I know I've failed even before I tried. There is one who didn't fail and I have found Salvation in those arms of a loving God.

If you've ever encountered the Holy Ghost. Oh my goodness
You won't even think twice about looking back

The power he has is unmesurable~refreshing, and will save your life.

I wish you the best.