im an desensitized? im scared.

[thebankarena]

hi, right now im really worried and weird. ive been in this addiction since maybe, late 2020 and i just want it to stop. i dont know whats going on with me. yesterday i was having these intrusive thoughts of my friends and the younger kids at my school. i get some weird feeling in my groin when i have them. i felt very bad about them, but now, its kinda reduced. i remember waking up this morning and suddenly this thought of 8 year old i saw during a mass. i kinda got an erec. i just kept thinking about it since she was a young girl and hopefully that would make it go away i guess but it was still there. now, it dont really have much effect on me.

i kept having intrusive thoughts but i didnt panic and try to rip it from my head. i just wanted it to go away. sometimes i think that im too far gone, i keep thinking that "what if i am a pedo? what if this addiction took me too far and its too late? am i accepting that i might be a pedo?" i dont wanna have these thoughts and i dont wanna be attracted to kids. i wanna be normal. i dont know if im used to these thoughts, dont care anymore, or im actually a pedo. whats going on? i know you guys arent phycologists but i just want a answer and i want this to go away.

 

[Deleted Account]

In my opinion our porn addiction can take us further away from who we really are. The questions you are asking yourself is pretty normal in the context of addiction. Obviously you have not gone down that road. This journey is going to help you with that as you brain heals and returns to its factory settings.
I won't lie my addiction to PMO went so bad that I started to question whether or not I was someone who is attracted to the opposite sex, even though I'm not.
These are just thoughts that float in our brains time to time.
It is our job to relax and stay away from porn/masterbation. Keep busy. Exercise. Drink plenty of water and eat more healthier.
Let the brain recover from the damage.
As you correctly pointed that we may not be experts but from research I can definitely tell you that recovery is very possible.
Not easy BUT possible.

 

[pagan_lord]

I have fantasies that bug the hell out of me. I'd agree that the more time away from porn will help you see clearer what's up because the fantasy land then becomes a road less traveled, less all encompassing. Its hard, but it's a fricking relief. Worth it...work it!

 

[LVGA]

hi, right now im really worried and weird. ive been in this addiction since maybe, late 2020 and i just want it to stop. i dont know whats going on with me. yesterday i was having these intrusive thoughts of my friends and the younger kids at my school. i get some weird feeling in my groin when i have them. i felt very bad about them, but now, its kinda reduced. i remember waking up this morning and suddenly this thought of 8 year old i saw during a mass. i kinda got an erec. i just kept thinking about it since she was a young girl and hopefully that would make it go away i guess but it was still there. now, it dont really have much effect on me.

i kept having intrusive thoughts but i didnt panic and try to rip it from my head. i just wanted it to go away. sometimes i think that im too far gone, i keep thinking that "what if i am a pedo? what if this addiction took me too far and its too late? am i accepting that i might be a pedo?" i dont wanna have these thoughts and i dont wanna be attracted to kids. i wanna be normal. i dont know if im used to these thoughts, dont care anymore, or im actually a pedo. whats going on? i know you guys arent phycologists but i just want a answer and i want this to go away.

Hey bro,
two years ago I was in the same position as you. I had the sort of intrusive thoughts that you are having and a bunch of additional ones. Coincidentally (but actually not really as I would later discover) I was trying to get off porn at that time. What helped me was to read "overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts" by Seif and Winston. By reading that book I discovered that the thoughts that I was having did not correspond to my will. To illustrate: imagine you read a newspaper article discussing suicide, if you weren't able to remove that article from your idea all day because the theme bothers you, would that make you suicidal? No, it doesn't correspond to your will. Just because you think of something, doesn't mean you want it. Actually, it's the exact opposite with intrusive thoughts. The fact that it keeps on popping up is a reflection of your efforts to discard it. Trust me on that. Because that thought bothers you, it reappears. From the moment that you learn to accept it as just a thought, not a reflection of you, but just a thought that anyone could have, it begins to fade. While I was in your situation I did some research to figure out what was going on. During withdrawals, but even during the addiction itself, your prefrontal cortex weakens. This is the part in the brain responsible for self-control and rationalization. Now, if it weakens, by logic you have less self-control (fall into P more often once its weakened) and you have less ability to rationalize (hence it's very difficult to create the thought process I described above about your thoughts and you begin to see them as realities when in reality they mean nothing about). But guess what? There are studies that demonstrate that around 30 days of abstinence from addiction the prefrontal cortex begins to strengthen meaning it becomes easier to fight the addiction because of increased self-control and your thoughts begin to vanish. Check out the Ted Talk by Gary Wilson on porn: he lists OCD as one of the side effects (in your case just O). OCD has been linked to changes in the chemical structure of the brain which is what you are experiencing.

1) Stay away from the poison and you will see that things will get better
2) If you are really struggling with this I recommend reading the book mentioned: it did wonders for me

 

[thebankarena]

Hey bro,
two years ago I was in the same position as you. I had the sort of intrusive thoughts that you are having and a bunch of additional ones. Coincidentally (but actually not really as I would later discover) I was trying to get off porn at that time. What helped me was to read "overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts" by Seif and Winston. By reading that book I discovered that the thoughts that I was having did not correspond to my will. To illustrate: imagine you read a newspaper article discussing suicide, if you weren't able to remove that article from your idea all day because the theme bothers you, would that make you suicidal? No, it doesn't correspond to your will. Just because you think of something, doesn't mean you want it. Actually, it's the exact opposite with intrusive thoughts. The fact that it keeps on popping up is a reflection of your efforts to discard it. Trust me on that. Because that thought bothers you, it reappears. From the moment that you learn to accept it as just a thought, not a reflection of you, but just a thought that anyone could have, it begins to fade. While I was in your situation I did some research to figure out what was going on. During withdrawals, but even during the addiction itself, your prefrontal cortex weakens. This is the part in the brain responsible for self-control and rationalization. Now, if it weakens, by logic you have less self-control (fall into P more often once its weakened) and you have less ability to rationalize (hence it's very difficult to create the thought process I described above about your thoughts and you begin to see them as realities when in reality they mean nothing about). But guess what? There are studies that demonstrate that around 30 days of abstinence from addiction the prefrontal cortex begins to strengthen meaning it becomes easier to fight the addiction because of increased self-control and your thoughts begin to vanish. Check out the Ted Talk by Gary Wilson on porn: he lists OCD as one of the side effects (in your case just O). OCD has been linked to changes in the chemical structure of the brain which is what you are experiencing.

1) Stay away from the poison and you will see that things will get better
2) If you are really struggling with this I recommend reading the book mentioned: it did wonders for me

thanks. but i dont know. sometimes i kinda feel something when the thoughts pop up. i dont know if i want it or like it because of it.

 

[Deleted Account]

thanks. but i dont know. sometimes i kinda feel something when the thoughts pop up. i dont know if i want it or like it because of it.

I actually do have some experience in this, field, shall we say. I imagine it as this; you have your brain, your wonderful brain that wants to create and quit porn, and then you have the dark side of your brain that feeds you these thoughts and fears, which I like to call the "Goblin Brain". In essence, your higher brain and your goblin brain are fighting for control. You yourself are not thinking these thoughts, your goblin brain is, and your higher brain is catching them. Your goblin brain is dead set on convincing you that you're a pedo, while your higher brain is not. A good indicator of this is the remorse and fear you feel for having these random reactions. Your goblin brain makes you react, but you didn;t want to react, so you blame yourself and feel bad.

 

[thebankarena]

I actually do have some experience in this, field, shall we say. I imagine it as this; you have your brain, your wonderful brain that wants to create and quit porn, and then you have the dark side of your brain that feeds you these thoughts and fears, which I like to call the "Goblin Brain". In essence, your higher brain and your goblin brain are fighting for control. You yourself are not thinking these thoughts, your goblin brain is, and your higher brain is catching them. Your goblin brain is dead set on convincing you that you're a pedo, while your higher brain is not. A good indicator of this is the remorse and fear you feel for having these random reactions. Your goblin brain makes you react, but you didn;t want to react, so you blame yourself and feel bad.

thanks

 

[Leon12]

If you keep repeating an idea for so long in your mind, it starts to "Feel" as if those voices in your head are coming from a third party but in fact they're not. It's you that programmed your mind that way.

So for instance if you're afraid of being a "pedo" and especially if you're scared of the very idea itself "You will compulsively keep ruminating on it", but it's only out of fear. And so after awhile it will start to feel "Real" to you, when it's not. Reality is what we make of it, so make a better reality "Do not abuse your mind by repeating negative thoughts and obssessing about them"
It's only fear brother that makes it feel real, and it is not. What you need to do my friend is a "Mind cleansing exercise". Practise it for as many times as you like during the day. Whenever you get any negative thoughts in that regard " Debate the thoughts using logic" Argue the point by saying things like "Thoughts are of my own making, I have programmed my mind the wrong way by obssessing about things that will never happen, out of fear, it's completely natural that I'm starting to get paranoid. But now I am going to reverse the situation by reprogramming my subconscious mind the other way arround so that it will start repeating words that I like". Your mind is not against you, unless you believe it to be the case.

Choose your beliefs, and you will consequentely have differents experiences. Why do you engage in negative thinking when you can simply think better. You are worth the good brother, so cheer up and don't think that you're some sort of creep. In fact your a "nice guy" and that's your problem. You can reverse your situation anytime you want to and you're not a bad person for having negative thoughts.

Hope this was helpful to you brother, and one final note "You must believe with absolute certainty that you will be better, whehnever these voices creep into your mind, wake up and realise that you are responsible for these thoughts coming to you, because you deeply programmed them into your subconscious mind in an artifical way. These thoughts registered and now you're mistakenly starting to believe that they're real but they're not. Your fears will never come to pass because they're merely an illusion, the only thing that's gonna happen is that you'll stress yourself over nothing. Chill bro and whenever you get deranged by any thoughts you don't like, argue them down logically and remember not to get afraid because you don't have to. Have complete faith and confidance in your mind bro and it will do wonders. Stop caring about what anyone thinks and get better."

 

[thebankarena]

If you keep repeating an idea for so long in your mind, it starts to "Feel" as if those voices in your head are coming from a third party but in fact they're not. It's you that programmed your mind that way.

So for instance if you're afraid of being a "pedo" and especially if you're scared of the very idea itself "You will compulsively keep ruminating on it", but it's only out of fear. And so after awhile it will start to feel "Real" to you, when it's not. Reality is what we make of it, so make a better reality "Do not abuse your mind by repeating negative thoughts and obssessing about them"
It's only fear brother that makes it feel real, and it is not. What you need to do my friend is a "Mind cleansing exercise". Practise it for as many times as you like during the day. Whenever you get any negative thoughts in that regard " Debate the thoughts using logic" Argue the point by saying things like "Thoughts are of my own making, I have programmed my mind the wrong way by obssessing about things that will never happen, out of fear, it's completely natural that I'm starting to get paranoid. But now I am going to reverse the situation by reprogramming my subconscious mind the other way arround so that it will start repeating words that I like". Your mind is not against you, unless you believe it to be the case.

Choose your beliefs, and you will consequentely have differents experiences. Why do you engage in negative thinking when you can simply think better. You are worth the good brother, so cheer up and don't think that you're some sort of creep. In fact your a "nice guy" and that's your problem. You can reverse your situation anytime you want to and you're not a bad person for having negative thoughts.

Hope this was helpful to you brother, and one final note "You must believe with absolute certainty that you will be better, whehnever these voices creep into your mind, wake up and realise that you are responsible for these thoughts coming to you, because you deeply programmed them into your subconscious mind in an artifical way. These thoughts registered and now you're mistakenly starting to believe that they're real but they're not. Your fears will never come to pass because they're merely an illusion, the only thing that's gonna happen is that you'll stress yourself over nothing. Chill bro and whenever you get deranged by any thoughts you don't like, argue them down logically and remember not to get afraid because you don't have to. Have complete faith and confidance in your mind bro and it will do wonders. Stop caring about what anyone thinks and get better."

thanks. so like, try replace the bad thoughts with good ones? idk

 

[Monkeyboyab2c]

You are not your thoughts. They only become a real problem if you agree with and act on them. You will have a lot of terrible thoughts in your life. I know I do. If you observe them and disagree with them they will pass. If you entertain them and enjoy the feeling they give you they will grow. Don’t let them grow.

 

[thebankarena]

You are not your thoughts. They only become a real problem if you agree with and act on them. You will have a lot of terrible thoughts in your life. I know I do. If you observe them and disagree with them they will pass. If you entertain them and enjoy the feeling they give you they will grow. Don’t let them grow.

i dont want these thoughts but sometimes whenever i have these thoughts i feel a weird feeling before i throw them out. i just feel like it makes me want those thoughts. i dont.

 

[Deleted Account]

i dont want these thoughts but sometimes whenever i have these thoughts i feel a weird feeling before i throw them out. i just feel like it makes me want those thoughts. i dont.

If you feel like you don't want the thoughts, you most likely don't.

 

[Leon12]

thanks. so like, try replace the bad thoughts with good ones? idk

Don't say I will try! Because that's doubt. Hell yeah you can brother, because you know what you're the master of your mother"king mind dude.

Who was it that lied to you ? you were born in control and you're always in control. The only thing here is that you have lied to yourself a thousand times that you've started to belief in your own lies. And that should not be the case. What you need to work on is "to have more faith and self esteem" what other people say about you doesn't define you. So stop looking for other people's opinions to define yourself. Rather you should paint yourself as you want yourself to be, so define yourself as you want "Instead of repeating, I thing I'm a pedo" I need you to affirm the following "I'm in control, there is nothing wrong with me" every time a negative thought pops out, clash it with a positive affirmation. I know that it can be boring and discouraging but what choice do you go bro ? Do you want to get better or do you want to dig yourself down ? I am sure that you want to be better, so start getting better by making yourself better and stop giving a sh~t what anyone thinks.

Make yourself how you want to be.

If you must, you can read my book that I wrote 2 months ago, haven't published it yet but you can find it for free on my website. I highly resumed my 1 year recovery struggle in there.

The URL is my avatar. I am a real passionate guy who've been there, and I'm not a robot or an affiliate that's trying to sell you anything at all.

 

[thebankarena]

Don't say I will try! Because that's doubt. Hell yeah you can brother, because you know what you're the master of your mother"king mind dude.

Who was it that lied to you ? you were born in control and you're always in control. The only thing here is that you have lied to yourself a thousand times that you've started to belief in your own lies. And that should not be the case. What you need to work on is "to have more faith and self esteem" what other people say about you doesn't define you. So stop looking for other people's opinions to define yourself. Rather you should paint yourself as you want yourself to be, so define yourself as you want "Instead of repeating, I thing I'm a pedo" I need you to affirm the following "I'm in control, there is nothing wrong with me" every time a negative thought pops out, clash it with a positive affirmation. I know that it can be boring and discouraging but what choice do you go bro ? Do you want to get better or do you want to dig yourself down ? I am sure that you want to be better, so start getting better by making yourself better and stop giving a sh~t what anyone thinks.

Make yourself how you want to be.

If you must, you can read my book that I wrote 2 months ago, haven't published it yet but you can find it for free on my website. I highly resumed my 1 year recovery struggle in there.

The URL is my avatar. I am a real passionate guy who've been there, and I'm not a robot or an affiliate that's trying to sell you anything at all.

thanks. this reminded me of what my dad told me. he used to smoke before i was born and he quit for his kids. he told me that he told himself that he is in control of his own body. and he just went from there.