I'm back in the dark place and don't know if I can get out help please

Sometimes shit happens, there is no shame. You were able to do 100 + days, that is a wonderful achievement which many of us have still not accomplished. You'll be able to overcome this and start again.

 

I believe one must know what triggers one to watch porn and masturbate. You have to take a deep look at yourself, recognize that dark side that triggers to fap. In my case, it was depression, anxiety, stress, failed relationships, etc.

I acknowledge that I have those flaws and try to do constructive things to better myself and my life situation.

Also porn and masturbation has always left me tired and depressed, with no energy and ambition to do anything. But now that is has been over 40 days that I'm PMO free, I feel better , more at peace and happier. Though I still love women and sex a lot, and always will, I do not become a slave to those desires. Instead I use that energy to be more productive, creative, to be a better person and have a better life.

 

I can't stand seeing shit like this anymore...
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/seven-days-now-what.183685/#post-1566190

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...ner-considered-a-relapse.178754/#post-1535885

 

Hey i have same experience i was at my 90 ++ and relapse, and u know its hard to get back to latest achievement

Later then the addiction getting worse way to worsebefore relpase i watch P for once per week, but after the damn relapse its just so crazy everyday i relapse

I need 1 -2 month to get back and start NoFap.again


The advice are

U must have to find or rememmber why you start NoFap,,, go to a quiet room, away from your laptop, away from your handphone, just for 15-30 minutes and think abbout it


You had achieved 100 day plus, i know that u now exactly how to defeat it


The problem now is self motivation

Self motivation to dust off your horn, heal your wound, go stand again, pick up your sword and fight the demon again

 

Do the things you've done before to even get to 100 and change your mentality away from this bullshit

 

I haven't reached a count like that, but I know what it feels like to really struggle to get back on a streak. Now, this doesn't mean I know exactly how you feel, but from experience, my way to get back on is to keep a note of triggers, only use my bed for sleep, be in a very public space if I'm using a computer, be outdoors more, exercise, keep on talking about the problem, pick up projects or any productive task, completely abstain from using technology and so on and so forth. Keeping a habit of any of those things is hard, but from my experience, doing so helped me regain the willpower and discipline to be stronger than my compulsions. If you're religious, prayer can help a lot too. 100 days is a testament of how far you came and how much further you'll be able to go.

 

Guess you didn't even read it? I literally describe you in it at one point. A person who relapses after a long period of time (100 days in your case) then has the shitty "Back to day 1" mentality which then leads to them to relapse more and fall even further. When in reality if they just got up, moved on and didn't reset the counter or put focus on it they would have been fine. Don't bullshit yourself with that, your not on day 1 you're at 100 something. Get rid of the mentality of putting focus on some pointless number and just move on from the mistake.

You should read the 2 posts I linked, at least skim them. The point of them is to prevent stupid shit like this from happening and get people out of their own heads. Its so sad to see people fall apart simply due to mentality and a meaningless number.

Either way, good luck and stay strong!

 

You could try getting obsessed with something that is completely non-triggering. Maybe something you were once interested in. It doesn't matter if it's "weird" or anything, as long as it's non-triggering.