hey guys! Been through four months of total darkness! Did everything imaginable from over drinking, visiting old bars and places I should not be at to just being a total washout! Then... I burst into tears! I was on my way back home riding on the bus through the Rice paddies and just so overwhelmed by everything that I couldnt hold it anymore! Gods grace and His mercy came over me... I decided to fight back against depression and SSA ... I want to fight and one of the steps is getting back on mym road of celibacy... I need to do it for myself and just to get a grip on life again! I am busy to take back what the Devil stole from me... I had enough... It is time for change!