Im being useless

Keep writing things out and thinking about it. A person who doesn't care never gives their addiction a second thought.

It's a good sign that we care about where we are headed.

 

Yes, PMO always leaves incomplete in so many ways. The most importantly it takes away your self-confidence and self-esteem, but gives you a clear vision of yourself, so that you can be critical about yourself. There is nothing wrong here, every fair, straight forward man can be addicted to anything just like pornography. It is no use to blame yourself when you are not succeeding at it at first try maybe second third.... but the magic is to keep trying till things form in your life. I mean, at every relapse you can find and correct your mistakes and can take your way more safely in a different manner. I have been in your place many times and I am still at there standstill. Every trial is a chance to eliminate a mistake. Don't be afraid of making mistakes, to be honest, the more mistake, the more progress when you are not disregarding correcting the mistakes. The goal is not a 90 days streak, take it one day at a time.

 

When did you last relapse?

 

I recommend you start tomorrow with a clean slate. Stay active in the forum and if you have a temptation do please create a post before you fap and hopefully someone can talk you down. I myself only have a day or 2 and have not been able to accrue more than 7 or 8 days straight. You are not alone on your journey.