I'm Close Minded | Narrow Minded | Help!!!

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Hamza Ji, Jan 13, 2020.

  1. Hamza Ji

    Hamza Ji Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone!

    I've a problem. The problem is within my mind and thoughts. And the problem is that I'm very closed minded. Whenever I visit the forum, I don't want to leave tips for people or help them. Not only here, but in my real life too. I feel like I should not help people in achieving anything e.g. I don't want to help my class fellows, help people who expect from me. Even many of my friends are addicted to PMO but I never told them about the NoFap or any other way of helping.

    Also when someone tell me about their success/achievement. I'm not encouraging them and is not getting Happy at all! I'm sure you can get me.

    Please don't judge me wrong. I'm very unhappy about my this behavior. I'm sharing this here just to learn something from you people. Just tell me how can I be a social Helper, a Kind Hearted Person, a heart winner, a loving and people liking person? Is it good to help people? To be happy for them? To congrats them? To encourage them?
     
    Kligor likes this.
  2. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Hi buddy,i understand you thanks for being opened about this.Be happy for people who you really love like:Your family,best friend or girlfriend or someone who is special in your life.When i say that i mean build that only with people that are close to you and give you similar respect,because they are to much bad people who will take adventage of you because you are too good,but that is my advice and decision is your.
    If you want to be better person overall i will share with you some advices which might help you.
    1.Be a listener,when someone talk to you listen what he/she speaks,you can learn something from that conversation,but you can solace that person if you feel need(Just by listening to someone you did something nice and that person feel thankful even if not say thank you).
    2.Make people to tell you THANK YOU,do something nice to someone you really love or to someone close to you,surprise them.
    3.If you are sometimes wrong admit that and apologize.
    4.Never do people something what you not like to someone do to you(Have respect for yourself and for others)
    5.Learn to forgive yourself and others.

    I hope this will help you,see later buddy.
     
    Hamza Ji and Marshall 5 like this.
  3. Maybe it would help you to find the root of your refusal to help others? For instance, in situations such as the workplace, it's not unusual to sometimes feel reluctant about helping someone out - like passing on knowledge - because you may see the other as a direct competitor for a promotion or something.

    Say, try to find out what is it that bothers you about your addicted friends knowing about NoFap?
    Just an idea, hope it helps...
     
    Hamza Ji likes this.
  4. ahighertruth

    ahighertruth Fapstronaut

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    I think most of it is just getting out of your head. A lot of people view themselves as highly important people, and that helping another would lead to their downfall. Its simply not true, and to think that way eventually leads to NPD and other problems in life. Everyone is equally important in the world, everyone deserves the same treatment. If someone has helped you before, then you should help someone else. Its really that simple.
     
  5. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    I'm going to go a bit against the grain and break this down.

    -None of us are closed minded. Whether we like it or not, we receive ideas all the time.
    -Narrow minded is not closed minded. A narrow minded person is still open minded, just slower to be swayed.
    -A wide minded person is just that, open to a wider range of ideas.
    -No single person needs, or should, be open to all ideas.
    -A person who complains about others being closed minded is just sore another doesn't agree with them.
    -We are neither 100% closed or open minded.
    -Take comfort in that our minds are narrowly open.

    The fact you made this post is proof enough you are not closed minded to helping people. You just asked for help. That's awesome. You're far from close minded. Asking for help leads to wanting to return the favour. Even the simple act of asking for help can indirectly help another person. Trust your narrowly open mind will move toward helping others. Life is a marathon. You'll get there.

    Know what, your post has reminded me I could be happier for others around me. It's all too easy to get caught up on our own worlds.
     
    Hamza Ji likes this.
  6. MuscularSherlockHolmes

    MuscularSherlockHolmes Fapstronaut

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    Open a Goodreads account, and start picking up the good recommendations from there that you can afford (and go buy a physical copy or a digital one) and read. I find reading quality books (at my own pace) helps me with a lot of psychological issues (directly and indirectly) and I also believe it makes me a better person (book by book, day by day).
    P.S. I really try to think, do analysis and try to apply anything I can to my life from the books I read. (It sounds like a lot and I know the reality is that it's a slow process and you only get miniscule changes over the weeks, but in the end all of it adds up, and who cares... you are gonna grow old and die anyway. So why not read/watch/listen to good stuff and get better.)
     
    Hamza Ji likes this.

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