Hello there people I'm writing this to hopefully find someone who I can talk too who is non judgemental and understands the deep pain it causes me . I have been single for a long time and I've been sexually frustrated for a very long time so I know some of my problems are starting because my body has urges , but I'm going to be open now as I see myself totally ruining any reputation with everyone I know and not being able to live with people finding out the things I've done which are so confusing to me also but I seemed to not have been able to stop myself I know I'm a sane person and want a normal life but I've let life stressors manipulate me to taking part in sexual fetishes I absolutely hate and I feel so useless being dominated by these urges that are sick . I have a child who I hate the thought of ever finding out and I have siblings uncles aunts mother and father and friends who I'd equally hate finding out. I have paranoid personality disorder which apparently I can have hyper sexuality but I need guide and help from someone who can get me back to me . I've basically got myself into enjoying transsexual porn interracial porn humiliation consensual blackmail and sending vids and pics of myself to mistresses etc in states of arousal I need help as I want to fix all that I've done I cannot live with myself it's embarrassing I wouldn't mind so much bit I don't even like these things and it goes against my morals I need I have a sponsor and someone who really can relate and help me feel normal I just hate myself and don't know what to do please can someone help me .