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I'm confused, did i lose my lust problem or not?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by JJTorres, Jul 26, 2018.

  1. JJTorres

    JJTorres Fapstronaut

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    This morning in the drugstore
    images (6).jpeg

    i was looking at the tv screen they had there and an attractive young woman appeared on screen and i felt sexual attraction, it turned me on but quickly vanished and i didnt think of having sex with her nor did i keep looking her like i would before it was just a quick "lust". Then another scene of soap opera "Chucara"
    images (13).jpeg presented a passionate couple kissing in bed (with clothes on) in a posture like they were going to have sex next even though they didnt.
    I didnt feel any lust or sexual desire nor was turned on by it RATHER i felt like true love(agape) for her and her beauty, not like she was just an object of sexual pleasure. Something that has NEVER happened to me in my entire life

    Also when thinking of sex i dont really like unless i truly love the person and only because i truly love her. I really want her to just love me and perphaps sweet kiss me and caress me but not sex really. Unless she wants.

    Ok, later on in a mall i looked again on tv screen and the head and shoulders of a hip hop afro girl appeared

    images (14).jpeg and i appreciated her beauty in a pure way. But then something bad happened, i was in an art store and looked upon 3 illustrations, one of a realistic woman in underwear and the two other manga girls with provocative shorts and shirts, i felt again turned on sexually by them(particularly the manga girls) but it vanished quickly and i did not think of having sex with them like a month ago.

    I got very very depressed because i thought i had overcome my bad sexualized mind.

    Later while napping(with "n") i got semi vivid pictures like dreaming but not so vivid of a young blonde naked girl on a rocky beach shore sitting with her back to me. download (29).jpeg At first it didnt turned me on and it vanished but then i sort of wanted to see her again and thought of her again
    having sex with and like enjoying but it wasnt like before, it wasnt selfish sex like in porno but at first i wanted her to love me more than wanting her cunt and then i just felt like agape loving her. Next still napping i started getting images of of women's sexual parts
    but i wasnt turned on really just annoyed, then it was just nature scenes like before seeing the blonde girl on the beach.

    Finally while watching "The General Daugters" with John Travolta two women appeared non provocative clothes at all but with makeup
    images (22).jpeg images (22).jpeg which was what turned me on then vanished.

    Lastly while searching for the pic of the manga girl to upload here i saw a very provocative manga girl with clothes that turned me back yet again to lust as before.

    Whats happening to me?
    Why do i feel agape love bu still have lust?
    Thnks and sorry for long post, had to vent it out completely.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 14, 2019
  2. It sounds like things are changing for you slowly, which is good. I wouldn't expect it to happen all at once.
     
    JJTorres likes this.

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