I'm cured! and let me tell you how I did it...

I do not think you are rebooted. Two months without PMO - http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?19318-A-month-without-PM-is-in-danger&p=100899&viewfull=1#post100899 - is not enough to make that statement. It sounds to me like you are still in the flatline. Anyway, you are not 'cured' of porn. You intentionally watched it yesterday. You are on day 1.

 

What you call a "test" seems more like an excuse for being weak and giving into an urge. Just the fact that you went searching and watched that video prooves that your old addict habits aren't gone yet. If you didn't get turned on it's because you are in the flatline and don't have enough libido.

But if you think you are really cured then I say congrats bro!!

 

If you were cured you wouldn't have view the video in the first place.

 

Why would being exposed to something arousing be bad, sometimes there are ads on sites with women in bikinis and when you are out in public you might see girls walking around in bikinis or some that are wearing very revealing clothing... 49 days without social interaction?

 

As everyone has already said, you seem to be in denial and you are not cured at all. Just the urge to download and watch a porn video even without being turned on is indicative that you have not even began to recover.

I was quite shocked in reading your post that you showed absolutely no respect for your wife. Neither did you speak of her at all except to mention that you were married. You are so full of praise for Abigail Spencer (whoever she is)but said nothing about your amazing and long-suffering wife who puts up with all your crap and is on the receiving end of your addiction.

If you cannot show respect for your own wife, then all the talk about being a feminist and respecting women is just empty and pure fantasy

You need to get real help, man, and start showing some respect and admiration for your wonderful wife. She is actually more amazing than your fantasy Abigail Spencer person.

 

The first step on day 1 is to come out of denial and accept you have got an addiction problem. When you do that you will get the support you clearly need.

 

Cured or not. Seems to me you had a change of mindset, and that is if anything a success in this case Keep on!

 

The fact that you downloaded and watched the leaked video proves that you're still addicted to porn. There was no need to watch that video. But you wasted your time watching it. You are just flatlining and not having libido and so you didn't feel a reaction while watching. That's temporary. The fact that you couldn't control your mind to NOT WATCH the video shows that you're still addicted to porn.
Anyway, your post tested my self-control terribly. I nearly gave in to the temptation to watch the video myself, after reading your post. I struggled with my mind for around 30 seconds, and finally I won and did not watch. I had to reason with myself that I'm on the 13th day and with just 1 more day to go, I don't want to start all over again from scratch. That would ruin all my efforts till now.
So, please try to avoid putting such information here, which could ruin the efforts of fellow fapstronauts like me.

 

Sorry mate but the fact that you decided to "test" yourself indicates you aren't fully recovered as does the throwaway mention of your wife. Personally id consider that a relapse, you need to be honest with yourself, if you had been turned on would you really have resisted your urges? To me it simply sounds like a flatline.

 

I completely agree. I also do not think you have rebooted, but wish you well in this process, don't fall into deception.

 

For me being aroused is bad because it almost always lead to a relapse. I live in a city in the Northeast of the United States so I never seen a girl walking around in a bikini, even in the summer time. If I notice a woman wearing revealing clothing I simply look away.

 

You cannot put your hand in the fire and expect not to be burned. It is one thing accidentally stumble upon something against your will. It is another if you go out of your way searching and downloading a porn video. That's not social interaction. It's called acting out your addiction. If you really want to recover you will need to be serious and be honest with yourself and take some drastic actions. Otherwise, you will be going around in circles and getting nowhere.

 

Agree, your brain is tricking you (you think you're cured as excuse to watch again...) what you're doing is edging and is dangerous ,,

 

Thank you for giving the credit for the K9 web filter and that youtube channel
And please refrain from mentioning websites, names,or videos that could trigger others.

 

Sorry to say, but going back to it to test yourself is not recovery and freedom. You have to cut it off completely.

 

Good luck. I hope you continue to make progress.

 

i just started

 

Maybe not cured, but clearly you've made a big step the right direction. Congrats.

 

Not really. It is deception and he hasn't come to fully realise the extent of his addiction. The praise and admiration of other women above his wife is a real proof. Better tell him the truth and encourage him to be honest and get real help.