I'm cured! and let me tell you how I did it...

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by EyeTree, Sep 23, 2014.

  1. EyeTree

    EyeTree Fapstronaut

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    Well, first of all - I'm in my early 30s and married and I now realize how fucked up my life was until recently. Not on the outside, but from the inside. Every alone time I had was dedicated to PMO, which caused me to be very unsettled and cranky. I used to spend hours on [NSFW]MyFreeCams[/NSFW], sexting with a girl I used to fuck, masturbating and avoiding doing anything else. Not only that, I had sexual thoughts all the time, and I mean ALL the time. And all of this was kept inside - no one knew but me... It made me sick, but I couldn't resist the urge to PMO.

    Let me tell you when I realized I was cured - It happened yesterday, when I heard that a very sexual video of the amazing Abigail Spencer was leaked. She is one of my favorite actresses - smart, funny, beautiful and very, very sexy. So I decided I was ready for the ultimate test... I downloaded the videos (wait with the bashing...) and watched...

    My first reaction was "Oh my god... Abigail Spencer is probably my new hero!". Why? because she is not only smart, beautiful, funny and sexy, she is also probably one of the coolest girls around. She filmed herself and sent it to her loved one, and it probably did the trick - how lucky is he?

    And then I deleted the videos and thought to myself: "Leaking those videos and keeping them is one of the lowest thing a person can do. they are meant for someone else, by a woman that is not afraid of her own sexuality, and anyone taking advantage of her should be damned". How on earth can someone MO with those videos and not feel like a total scumbag? If that incident might cause her to not send another video like that to her loved one, that is outrageous. I hope she doesn't give a f*** about anyone and doesn't feel too embarrassed right now - She is normal and healthy, unlike all the fappers watching it and fapping. I had no urge whatsoever, not even the slightest hard-on. Believe me, if that was released three months ago, I would have gone crazy over her videos.

    How did I do that? Well, three things contributed to my success. First, installing the K9 web filter. Second, dealing with my procrastination habit. Yes, it is very related. Learning techniques to help me being more productive and focused helped me avoiding the urge to turn to PMO whenever I tried to do something useful when I was alone. I learned how to gain focus and control my emotions toward tasks. Third, and a very important step, I became a feminist. Yes. I did. And that is one of the most liberating things I ever did in my life. I gained a whole new perspective on society and realized how wrong and one sided it is. I look at women entirely different now with so much more respect and appreciation. I used to think I appreciate women, but you are not doing so when you ALWAYS rate the fuckability of women when you look at them. This is what society made us do. I'm now free of that sick habit and I recommend everyone to check out the excellent Youtube channel called Feminist Frequency. It changed my life, and it can change yours. All you have to do is NOT automatically saying the feminists are wrong, and DO try to understand their arguments.

    I'm now cured. Cured as in I can see porn and not getting turned on, not thinking about sex when a naked woman in a nude beach walk by, as in not having to avoid sexual content. I'm in peace with the oversexualization around me and I TRUST myself not having any relapse again... NEVER... I got my brain back. I'm happy.

    I hope this might inspire you, and I'm here to help you in any way I can.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 23, 2014
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  2. IGY

    IGY Guest

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  3. Goodmood

    Goodmood Fapstronaut

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    What you call a "test" seems more like an excuse for being weak and giving into an urge. Just the fact that you went searching and watched that video prooves that your old addict habits aren't gone yet. If you didn't get turned on it's because you are in the flatline and don't have enough libido.

    But if you think you are really cured then I say congrats bro!!
     
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  4. Rahil

    Rahil Fapstronaut

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    If you were cured you wouldn't have view the video in the first place.
     
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  5. cedflame

    cedflame Fapstronaut

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    Why would being exposed to something arousing be bad, sometimes there are ads on sites with women in bikinis and when you are out in public you might see girls walking around in bikinis or some that are wearing very revealing clothing... 49 days without social interaction?
     
  6. Tombuktu

    Tombuktu Fapstronaut

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    As everyone has already said, you seem to be in denial and you are not cured at all. Just the urge to download and watch a porn video even without being turned on is indicative that you have not even began to recover.

    I was quite shocked in reading your post that you showed absolutely no respect for your wife. Neither did you speak of her at all except to mention that you were married. You are so full of praise for Abigail Spencer (whoever she is)but said nothing about your amazing and long-suffering wife who puts up with all your crap and is on the receiving end of your addiction.

    If you cannot show respect for your own wife, then all the talk about being a feminist and respecting women is just empty and pure fantasy

    You need to get real help, man, and start showing some respect and admiration for your wonderful wife. She is actually more amazing than your fantasy Abigail Spencer person.
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2014
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  7. IGY

    IGY Guest

    The first step on day 1 is to come out of denial and accept you have got an addiction problem. When you do that you will get the support you clearly need.
     
  8. Cojax

    Cojax Fapstronaut

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    Cured or not. Seems to me you had a change of mindset, and that is if anything a success in this case:) Keep on!
     
  9. positron

    positron Fapstronaut

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    The fact that you downloaded and watched the leaked video proves that you're still addicted to porn. There was no need to watch that video. But you wasted your time watching it. You are just flatlining and not having libido and so you didn't feel a reaction while watching. That's temporary. The fact that you couldn't control your mind to NOT WATCH the video shows that you're still addicted to porn.
    Anyway, your post tested my self-control terribly. I nearly gave in to the temptation to watch the video myself, after reading your post. I struggled with my mind for around 30 seconds, and finally I won and did not watch. I had to reason with myself that I'm on the 13th day and with just 1 more day to go, I don't want to start all over again from scratch. That would ruin all my efforts till now.
    So, please try to avoid putting such information here, which could ruin the efforts of fellow fapstronauts like me.
     
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  10. Province

    Province Fapstronaut

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    Sorry mate but the fact that you decided to "test" yourself indicates you aren't fully recovered as does the throwaway mention of your wife. Personally id consider that a relapse, you need to be honest with yourself, if you had been turned on would you really have resisted your urges? To me it simply sounds like a flatline.
     
  11. Renewedvizion

    Renewedvizion Fapstronaut

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    I completely agree. I also do not think you have rebooted, but wish you well in this process, don't fall into deception.
     
  12. Rahil

    Rahil Fapstronaut

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    For me being aroused is bad because it almost always lead to a relapse. I live in a city in the Northeast of the United States so I never seen a girl walking around in a bikini, even in the summer time. If I notice a woman wearing revealing clothing I simply look away.
     
  13. Tombuktu

    Tombuktu Fapstronaut

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    You cannot put your hand in the fire and expect not to be burned. It is one thing accidentally stumble upon something against your will. It is another if you go out of your way searching and downloading a porn video. That's not social interaction. It's called acting out your addiction. If you really want to recover you will need to be serious and be honest with yourself and take some drastic actions. Otherwise, you will be going around in circles and getting nowhere.
     
  14. Ferreira

    Ferreira New Fapstronaut

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    Agree, your brain is tricking you (you think you're cured as excuse to watch again...) what you're doing is edging and is dangerous ,,
     
  15. happyday

    happyday Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for giving the credit for the K9 web filter and that youtube channel
    And please refrain from mentioning websites, names,or videos that could trigger others.
     
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  16. TheDisciple

    TheDisciple Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to say, but going back to it to test yourself is not recovery and freedom. You have to cut it off completely.
     
  17. weighingmylife

    weighingmylife Fapstronaut

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    Good luck. I hope you continue to make progress.
     
  18. moses

    moses New Fapstronaut

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    i just started
     
  19. e5s

    e5s Fapstronaut

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    Maybe not cured, but clearly you've made a big step the right direction. Congrats.
     
  20. Tombuktu

    Tombuktu Fapstronaut

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    Not really. It is deception and he hasn't come to fully realise the extent of his addiction. The praise and admiration of other women above his wife is a real proof. Better tell him the truth and encourage him to be honest and get real help.
     

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