I'm cursed.

How do you know?

No one really knows the path ahead.

 

Honestly your post is bothering me.

You are a smart young man and are giving up on life completely.

You have your whole life ahead of you.

I was raised in conservative environment and I always thought I was pretty and desirable. then somehow I ended up in physically and emotionally abusive arranged marriage.

And I would hate to visit that country because of all the pain and suffering it caused me.

Now there are days where I no longer feel beautiful, worthy etc (struggling to lose 15 lbs of post miscarriage weight!) ... and I wish for happy marriage and children more than I wish for billion dollars.

37 is late, yet I am praying to God for His Love and Blessings. Maybe He will turn things around! I am not concluding what my fate is!

You are a nice young man and smart too!

in high school, there are mostly immature girls ... don't use them as a standard!

Keep studying hard, keep God first place, He does miracles all the time!

 

And I'll pray for you too!