I'm Depressed: What is PMO from being a GAY?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Helpneeder, Sep 29, 2019.

Do you feel the same?

  1. Yes

    50.0%
  2. No

    57.1%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Helpneeder

    Helpneeder Fapstronaut

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    Okay, so I'm a student and a son, 19 year-old. I consider myself as a weird man. Yes, I am gay, since I was a kid I knew that I am gay. I knew that I was attracted to my same sex and by that I cannot really enjoy my life. I know I'm gay but there's something inside me that fighting against it. Meaning to say I don't want to be like this. I even tried to be straight and act as what supposed to be but it wasnt easy as what I thought.

    I am religious person and do believe to Jesus but sometimes I doubt. Maybe because Bible says that homosexuality is a sin and that made me frustrated all the time. Idk what to do, I always asked forgiveness from God for being gay. Yes, I tried to be what God wanted me to be. Yet, still I am who I am. Idk what to do. Should I accept this and be happy or obey the will of God. Sometimes I wondered, is this really the will of God? I felt that I was going to be crazy now.

    When it comes to have friends. I always have problem to it because Idk where should I belong. I don't have bestfriends or real friends; whom you can express your feelings, emotions and problems. But no, I dont have.

    I am gay but I don't like wearing girls' stuffs. Maybe, it's time to accept that I'm gay. It's obvious that I was, 'coz I always trying out sites where I could find gay boys.. idk why, I like having conversation with foreign strangers.
    Yeah, I imagine myself living with a foreign guy. I don't know why hehe.
    I havent experience relationship yet.

    About my nofap journey, I'm back to zero again. I always triggered to relapse and that's so hard for me as gay. Idk what being gay is connected to being prone to masturbation and porn. Huhu help me.

    My highest streak is 90+ last month. Yet, I relapsed...

    I am looking forward guys. Hoping someone will comment and same in my case. Maybe, support group and establish relationship "friendship".
     
  2. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    Homosexuality is a sin if you act upon it.
    My problem is that I'm drawn to PMO. But I don't ask for forgiveness 24/7. It's only a problem if I act upon it.
     
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  3. Helpneeder

    Helpneeder Fapstronaut

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    You cannot blame me to it. It seems like it isnt something just to act, rather it is something part of me.
     
  4. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I get that. Look, someone could be, say, a kleptomaniac. He likes to steal things. That's a part of him. But as long as he doesn't do that, it's okay. We all have these challenges we have to deal with. We need to learn to control ourselves.
     
    Helpneeder likes this.
  5. Enwar

    Enwar Fapstronaut

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    Because homosexuality goes against the design and purpose of sex and the sexual organs, even if you had homosexual feelings from a young age, you can be assured that these feelings are not natural. Whatever causes people to become attracted to the same sex, and there are many different causes, happened to you at a younger age. You need not act upon your desires. Maybe they'll go away, and maybe they won't. In any case, however, you should not act upon them. People today will tell you that you should embrace them; but this is a very modern view, which became popular in the 1970's or so, and has been very rare throughout history. You need not act upon your desires, but you don't need to seek a relationship with the opposite sex either. It's a good thing that you believe in Christ.
     
  6. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Wow. What an interesting topic.

    I had lots of homosexual relations at a very young age. I did not identify as Gay but I have done all the things you describe. I think this and my fathers emotionlessness has a lot to do with my despondency and struggle to connect with men here in nofap and in general. Being vulnerable has been super difficult.

    I do not identify as gay but I do see that how I live (promiscuously ) is wrong and going against Gods law. I don’t want to change in large part honestly— while we the same time I am trying to become changed. The same would be true for you my friend.

    I think God obviously has a way wherein we are designed to operate and function. For me to give up anal has been hard to do... I’d assume we share that to some degree.

    Overall, sin is enjoyable. If it weren’t we would not fall to it. However it also has consequences that we try to avoid but if Gods mercy allows us to taste our consequences we will see how bad our actions can become.

    Thank you for letting me see myself from this view. I have been religious most of my life, but today i am not trying to do that at all—I’m just trying to be honest. I wish you well young man.

    Foremost, share your struggle with God. He’s made you with whatever your challenges are. He says He knows what you need even before you ask.
     
    Helpneeder likes this.
  7. Bragi

    Bragi Temporarily Suspended

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    Sometimes nature of your mind and body has to go over religion. Just imagine two elements.
    Religion and you. Wich one would never exist most likely? Well, most likely relegion. Yes, you might never be born if your father wouldn't met your mother, but yeah - bad comparison. But you get what I mean - human over religion, cause religion was made by a humans. So. Forget religion. See your purest, realest self - natural you. Forget what Bible says. Think how would you feel not knowing it's a sin. I guess, way better? Wouldn't you? Just let things go with a flow. Yes, you are gay and I would've judged you if I was younger, but my mind now feels less pressured and closer to my real self. And most importantly - it's opened. So I can say from clear minded perspective - it's not a sin. It's not a sin! It's not! It's nature! Who made nature in your religion? God! God loves everyone! So why should you worry? You are who you are, who you are made to be. You think that God hates bird with a broken wing? No! He loves it as much as everyone.
    When it comes to battles inside of you - just stick to no PMO and meditate or just try connecting your brain as much as possible and you will understand what is what! Good luck, man!
     
    Roberto1973 and Helpneeder like this.
  8. Hold it in

    Hold it in Fapstronaut

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    The Episcopalian church welcomes everyone. I wouldn't worry about your sexuality. You should do what your mind and heart ultimately agree on. Don't go through life beating yourself up, and a mental wreck inside a closet dude. Don't "try" to like women and get into a relationship with them if you don't like them. If you are gay, be gay. Be happy I say

    Maybe this video will make you feel better.

     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2019
  9. BreakingBenjamin

    BreakingBenjamin Fapstronaut

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    Dude thats great that you are gay, life`s too short for pretending to be straight, you should surround yourself with positive people and accept yourself !!
    Many people in this forum (including myself) watched gay/trans porn because they got bored of straight porn,
    but if you are feeling gay since you were a kid, embrace it :)
     
    Nil1991, bl147, Alwayshorny77 and 2 others like this.
  10. bken

    bken Fapstronaut

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    No one is 100% straight. We all have both female and male chromosomes, sometimes nature will be more sensitive to one type and people will feel more attracted to their own gender. Perhaps gay people had a different gender in a previous lifetime. We don't know any of this, but we also don't know for sure that homosexuality is a sin. We have science, we have nature. Homosexuality is prevalent in animals so certainly nature has a purpose for these different feelings and desires. The biblical God did save animals from the flood but he destroyed mankind for their sins, it probably doesn't make sense since animals seem to be going against nature too so according to biblical law they sin too.

    I recently saw a good movie on this topic called Boy Erased, about a guy who was forced into conversion therapy, as one would suspect this didn't help at all. You aren't a sinner for being attracted to your own gender, what you want to make of these desires should be your own choice but I wouldn't let religion put you in a mental cage. The uncertainty revolving a god who may or may not exist perhaps is too much of a burden on some people because of what the book says. Lots of books have been written and unless the god in question would choose to drop out of the sky and remind us of the Bible, is it really worth consuming your mental health over? Because freedom in any case is one of the pilars all mental health rests upon. The most important thing is that you love and don't hate. Love yourself, whatever you may feel, accept it, and don't hate yourself for it. You can always choose to turn away from actual sexual encounters but you should never deny yourself because it can and will affect your health at some point. Just be whoever you are man.
    Hope it helps
     
  11. PlanetsCollide

    PlanetsCollide Fapstronaut

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    It's 2019, you can't be ashamed to be gay, that's who you are, is not a sin. if your religion tells you otherwise maybe it's best to ditch that or change religion altogether
     
  12. Helpneeder

    Helpneeder Fapstronaut

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    I am so glad that everyone is very open to my case. thank you guys for the advises
     
    Hold it in likes this.
  13. Helpneeder

    Helpneeder Fapstronaut

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    Hey thank you
     
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  14. Hold it in

    Hold it in Fapstronaut

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    I've never looked at it like that. Thank you, interesting take
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2019
  15. Theo3

    Theo3 Fapstronaut

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    Three things come to my mind.
    1 - Many young people are confused/insecure about their sexuality. It is pretty normal at your age to have questions and doubts about who you are and what you are attracted to, so please don't feel you are "weird" just because of that. Most people don't talk about it in the open, but I can assure you virtually everyone has been through this at some point in their life! If you are really struggling then perhaps you could search for LGBT organisations that may be able to offer counseling, mentoring or professional advice.

    2. Being religious and gay is a match made in hell because virtually all religions teach that homosexuality is a sin.
    But don't many religions also teach that any form of sex act that doesn't result in procreation is a sin? Adultery is a sin, contraception is a sin, jealousy is a sin, pride is sin, even lust is a sin... What does this mean? - That in the eyes of religion, we are all sinners to some degree!
    It doesn't matter whether or not you are gay. Sin is unavoidable in every religion. So ultimately you have a choice. You can either to continue with the religious mindset that you are a sinner because of who you are. Or you can choose to live a life of freedom and authenticity in the truth of who you are.

    It is up to you which values and mindset you choose to adopt for your life. But I think it is fairly obvious which ones will result in a happy and productive life with potential to share love and joy with others, and which will not.
    I am not religious, but my personal belief is that god/creator/mother nature/source makes all of us in his/her perfect image, and that each of us has a unique journey and a unique role to play in this world. And yes, that includes not just humans but all creatures, which can also be "gay".

    I'm not sure where abouts in the world you are or what culture and values you are surrounded by, but you inner thoughts, views and values are not fixed for you. You can adopt new ways of thinking and seeing things that better serve you, and indeed that is a major part of life's journey, learning how to see things in a new more objective and more compassionate light.

    3. Porn and masturbation addiction can affect everyone. It doesn't matter whether you are gay, bi or straight, man or woman. We can all be affected.
    The human brain is designed to seek pleasure (like sexual release) and avoid pain (like rejection or abandonment) so looking at sexual images online and achieving orgasm that way can seem like the safe/easy option. The internet puts virtually endless choice at our fingertips, so there is literally no limit to how much we PMO. It is like having a drug dealer who supplies us 24/7, instantly, and for free!.....Addiction under such circumstances is VERY easy to fall into, and your sexuality is irrelevant.

    It is hard to advise you further, not knowing where you are in the world. For a young man who is straight it is easy to tell him to hang out with girls, talking to them more and sharing interests with peers etc. The same principle applies to you - try and connect more with real people, others who might be going through similar experiences as you.
    I appreciate that may or may not be possible, depending on where you are - I understand attitudes towards LGBT people in some countries is still very bad and doing this is not always safe.
    In this case the internet is the safest way to find others, but the best solution is always the same:
    Seek to become more connected with people in real life, spend more time doing things you enjoy (preferably not involving the internet) and the temptation to use PMO will diminish. You will also have better friendships and be more likely to find a healthy and loving relationship, which is something that PMO can NEVER give you.
     
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  16. Silver382

    Silver382 Fapstronaut

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    What !
     
  17. Helpneeder

    Helpneeder Fapstronaut

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  18. Silver382

    Silver382 Fapstronaut

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    your welcome your homosexuality is not a sin you have to remember the bible is a very old account that had been revised and edited by many people over a vast time. Not every one along that time span had the same thinking and over time minor changes and misinterpretation can lead to major changes.God Jesus did not tell anyone to have he was about love love one another love oneself live and let live. Most in the world can only see only from there own experiences.live life and see from your experiences if it's right for you then you will know and God will be happy for you and show his love and acceptance for you!
     
    Helpneeder likes this.
  19. Helpneeder

    Helpneeder Fapstronaut

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    Thank you brother. You make me feel good.
     
  20. Souvent08

    Souvent08 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing that my friend! I can relate to a lot you said. At your age I had similar feelings and thoughts. I hated myself for who I was. Now that I am 27 I have learned to love myself and be the best version of myself. If I could give you any advice is that: love yourself, let God love you and connect with people who are good. I know that’s hard to do at your age but just put yourself out of your comfort zone. Basically, spend less time in your head/thoughts and go out there and meet people. Volunteer, join groups etc.

    Religion is a word we use to put spiritually in a box. Connect with God and let God guide you. In the same way, we use straight and gay to put sexuality in a box. At your age, your body is desiring for a sexual partner. You can either give in to those desires or keep that sexual energy or transmutate it to something else. Just protect yourself and keep in mind the consequences of giving into these urges.

    There’s so much I can say but I don’t want to make this long. Good luck on your no pmo journey!
     

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