Okay, so I'm a student and a son, 19 year-old. I consider myself as a weird man. Yes, I am gay, since I was a kid I knew that I am gay. I knew that I was attracted to my same sex and by that I cannot really enjoy my life. I know I'm gay but there's something inside me that fighting against it. Meaning to say I don't want to be like this. I even tried to be straight and act as what supposed to be but it wasnt easy as what I thought. I am religious person and do believe to Jesus but sometimes I doubt. Maybe because Bible says that homosexuality is a sin and that made me frustrated all the time. Idk what to do, I always asked forgiveness from God for being gay. Yes, I tried to be what God wanted me to be. Yet, still I am who I am. Idk what to do. Should I accept this and be happy or obey the will of God. Sometimes I wondered, is this really the will of God? I felt that I was going to be crazy now. When it comes to have friends. I always have problem to it because Idk where should I belong. I don't have bestfriends or real friends; whom you can express your feelings, emotions and problems. But no, I dont have. I am gay but I don't like wearing girls' stuffs. Maybe, it's time to accept that I'm gay. It's obvious that I was, 'coz I always trying out sites where I could find gay boys.. idk why, I like having conversation with foreign strangers. Yeah, I imagine myself living with a foreign guy. I don't know why hehe. I havent experience relationship yet. About my nofap journey, I'm back to zero again. I always triggered to relapse and that's so hard for me as gay. Idk what being gay is connected to being prone to masturbation and porn. Huhu help me. My highest streak is 90+ last month. Yet, I relapsed... I am looking forward guys. Hoping someone will comment and same in my case. Maybe, support group and establish relationship "friendship".