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I'm done with PMOing..

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by superyo, Dec 10, 2014.

  1. superyo

    superyo Fapstronaut

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    How many times have i said that already? I'm 21 and this shit has cost me more than i would ever imagine possible.. I had ED problems even before 18 because of it. I have made out with several girls, i had a 2.5 year relatoioship with a girl i consider the love of my life but that ended recently, not because of ED but we sure had MANY problems in that department because of my stupid addiction.
    I stopped for periods of time but i couldn't COMPLETELY stop. And for me, the real addiction is not porn. It;s masturbation itself. Even if i don't watch porn i wanna test my dick, how hard can it get? how big? how many times in a row can i cum? I am very competitive and it has destroyed me.
    That was the reason i got into some Penis enlargement stuff too which made my ED even worse.
    A hard break up does not help with this as you know.. I am a weak minded piece of shit, i am aware of that and if i wasn't maybe i would still be with the only girl i ever loved.
    SO the point of this post is.. this time no matter what it takes, i have to quit. It scares me that i will not be able to and my whole potential in life will be wasted..
    It's the first time i post in a site like this and i'm doing it because i finally realize that i can't do it alone. I need your help guys. I will post here frequently and i am determoned to kick this fucked up habit. This time for good.
    Say anything you want, helpful or not, i need to have some contact with someone about this.
     
  2. This is probably the single most important thing to help with our problem. Unfortunately I rarely find myself on NoFap... Don't do the same mistake as me man. And never lose hope.
     
  3. Wannabreakfree

    Wannabreakfree Fapstronaut

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    Hey.
    You're not alone. We're all weak minded - that a human trait and its the reason there's so many of us with this problem not to mention all the other similar addictions people have.
    But at the same time we all have strengths too. Our weaknesses don't define us.

    You said you're competitive - so you can't be entirely weak minded can you? You can't be competitive and win without being a bit strong minded about something can you?

    Seems to me that there's a competition staring you in the face right here. You can beat this if you want to.

    Why not compete with someone on here - see who can go longest? I'll take you on if you want - although you should easily beat me - my addiction began before you were born and I haven't gone more than 10 days without MOing in all that time.

    So I'm at 1 day and aiming to be PMO free till end of December. Can you keep up with me?
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2014
  4. readytonotfap

    readytonotfap Fapstronaut

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    I'm on day 4, similar story...determined to quit
     
  5. superyo

    superyo Fapstronaut

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    Today is my first day. I'm gonna beat this piece of shit. No matter ho weak i feel on some days i'll just come here and write about it, have a cold shower or go train and be on track again. Your support is certainly helpful, having someone to talk without being judged or looked at in a weird way is liberating.
    You are right i never thought i could use my competitiveness to beat my addiction but now i will, finally i see PMO as an enemy, something to beat, and not as a sweet-ass temptation that i have toi resist.
     
  6. theferryyman

    theferryyman Fapstronaut

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    NoFap exists so that we can help and support each other. Divided we are weak, but when together we are strong because we will support each other for as long as it takes to take the training wheels off as it were. This is my first online community I've participated in and everyone just wants to see everyone else succeed. That's a beautiful thing. Stay strong!
     
  7. Fran1981

    Fran1981 Fapstronaut

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    I fapped this morning. Can I join in the task? The most difficult thing I have ever ever done. Truly terrifying
     
  8. superyo

    superyo Fapstronaut

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    Of course join in.. The most important thing in this process is how you look at it i think.
    You need three things to succeed.
    1) Find the REAL reasons you return to PMO. For me i thought for a long time it was because i liked it and that this was what i needed to resist but really i kept returning because my ego got in the way and said "let's see how you are now, your dick is better and srtonger, let's test". my ego was my demise. whatever is making you return to PMO, identify it and then whatever thoughts you have, you can tell if they are lies, they cannot deceive you anymore.

    2)Look at it as a day to day thing. If you say "i will never PMO again", ok i know you mean it and i mean it too but the thing is.. forever is a long time if you look at it like forever.. BUT all it really is, is a sum of days. So don't dwell on it, when the urge comes, relax, think about it, say no, move on. That way you don't really TRY. It is just some decisions you take at certain moments.

    3)Have available things to do when the urges hit. Examples: Cold shower, athletic training, go out of the house, call a friend and go out. You may say no to the urge as i said in (2) but if it's really strong you might need to take some measures like the above.
     
  9. Phibz

    Phibz Fapstronaut

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    Are we really weak-minded? Our minds have taken us over. Hijacked our life. I am grateful to see this now. I have to start feeling again and stop thinking so much. I want my mind back for all practical purposes. Cant afford to keep being a slave. Addiction is a manifestation of the real problem. This is a drug to me. I wont get better if I just stop. That's why I post. I have to be proactive and face this fear of losing my drug. I have to FEEL this pain, embrace it. Move through it eventually and start growing in all areas of this life.
     
  10. superyo

    superyo Fapstronaut

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    Day 1: Had some urges late in the day, took cold shower, conquered them. As i will continue from now on everytime they come until they subside. Mood was very good throughout the day except from small parts of melancholy.
     
  11. superyo

    superyo Fapstronaut

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    Day2: No urges today, just some images of porn in my head. I ignored them. Mood is down. An interesting thing is that i seem to observe things like i see them for the fisrt time. I look at things in my house that isee everyday for my entire life up until now and they seem different or new. Also my identity strts to be shaken. It's like i don't know how to feel. One moment i feel like a grown man and the other like an insecure child to whom everything seems weird and scary.
     
  12. Wannabreakfree

    Wannabreakfree Fapstronaut

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    Good start Superyo. Hang on in there. I'm still a day ahead of you though - can you outlast me?

    Don't dwell too much on your emotional ups and downs though. Soon you'll be able to feel like you're really winning at this.
     
  13. superyo

    superyo Fapstronaut

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    It's not my first time doing this.. i was once at a point where i could have sex with no problems at all and was feeling really good.. i screwed it up many times.. now here i go again for the last time.
    The log i started is beacuse i quickly tend to forget where i was and how i was feeling some time ago, once i start getting better. Now i will have this as reference.
     
  14. superyo

    superyo Fapstronaut

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    Day 3: Minimal urges today, mainly frustration, anger and self-hate on many different levels, at the same time a burning desire to improve on various areas of my life ang get better.
     
  15. superyo

    superyo Fapstronaut

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    Day 4: Started the day VERY depressed but i was getting better as the day progressed. My mood is kind of stable now. The urges are low and pretty controlable. I was out for coffee with a friend of mine, and i saw many beautiful women. At first out of habit i almost started checking them out like usual, in a dirty way i mean(looking at their asses and boobs like they were objects) and i immeadiately started feeling bad about that and i realized i didn't like it. I even considered perverted and a bad behaviour. Admiring the shape of their bodies, the beuty of their faces and noticing how gracefuly some of them moved, or the soft tone of their voice was much more fulfiling.
     
  16. heyitshannes

    heyitshannes Fapstronaut

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    Don't get to hard on yourself guy. We're all here because we all struggle with the same stuff. You're in the right place though, I can tell you that. I suggest you start a personal journal in the journals section, and, this I always say, when you feel tempted, remember why you're doing this in the first place. Keeping that in mind will be a big help during your reboot.
     
  17. superyo

    superyo Fapstronaut

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    Day 5: Mood was mediocre to down throughout the day, bordering depression at the end of the day. Severe brain fog. My thougths are all messed up and i can't concetrate on anything requiring using your brain like studying or reading a book for example.
     
  18. superyo

    superyo Fapstronaut

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    Day 6: Mood was down pretty nuch all day except from the last hours in which it has gone up. Brain fog continues but i also continue to stay strong, resisting this addiction has made me stop eating sweets every day and replace them with real food as well as cut down on internet time. I'm starting to see women as persons now and not as obejcts and i respect them more. The moments i feel depressed, hopeless and weak are too many right now but i will push through.
     
  19. superyo

    superyo Fapstronaut

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    Day 7: First week done.. Awful day today.. severe anxiety and fear about the future, feeling exhausted from all the psuchological stress but also a little relieved it passed for now...
     
  20. TotalLifeChange

    TotalLifeChange Fapstronaut

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    I don't know if you had the best mindset man. It's not rethoric, I literally mean I don't know.

    On one hand, it is GREAT to be aware of oneself, to be able to examine your issues as from outside. That's KEY here.

    On the other hand, saying to yourself things like "I am weak minded" is not good at all. The words we use everyday build our perception of the world. Maybe today it's just an expression out of anger. Maybe tomorrow, if you relapse, it becomes a confirmation of erroneous beliefs.

    Bottom line: DON'T SAY THINGS TO YOURSELF LIKE THAT.

    Instead say: "I've failed but I'm a master of every little choice I make, which build my future, and I'm fucking determined to change it!!!"

    In addition, changing out of fear (of a life wasted) is a powerful motivator. But it alone won't do much after some period. You need larger goals, you need a vision of a new life that also pulls you towards it. Changing out of anger and fear is just the "pushing" part.

    I hope this makes sense and helps you.

    BTW are you Spanish? Only ask b/c of your nickname :)
     

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