I'm done with PMOing..

Thanks man, i'm pushing through every day. I have decided to stop PMO forever. Now, i'm just dealing with the everyday hell it comes with until healing is over.

 

Day 8: Had a wet dream last night. Actually i don't even know if it was a dream or not. I don't remember anything nor i remember ejaculating. I just went to pee when i woke up in the morning and i saw a huge cum stain on my boxers. Not concerned with this at all, i had no control over it and it is just a normal part of the process. Other than that i am calmer today and i was noticing women more. When i came home i was listening to some music and started thinking of my ex and how much i miss her. I started crying like a baby for like 10 minutes straight. In my PMO days even if i was incrediblyu sad and wanted to cry it was impossible. Continuing the day anxiety flares up at moments with no reason and i experience shortness of breath, increased heart rate and stuff like that. At some point i feel somewhat good but nothing special.

 

Day 9: Anxiety is crazy today, strongest i have ever had in my life. I can't even breathe properly and i feel awful. What can i say, i'll keep on going. I know this is part of the process but man, it's the worst shit ever.

 

Thanks man. It's nice to see someone is posting in my thread once in a while. Hearing encouraging words makes the process a little easier.

 

Day 10: This day is greatly improved compared to yesterday. Anxiety reduced alhtough there, especially when talking to others. The good thing is that i initiate conversations or i do things in general even though i'm still afraid of them. They go pretty well generally. It's like the anxiety is there for no reason at all. I guess it will correct itslef once my brain regains its balance. Also today i have great energy and improved focus and concetration. Restlessness is also reduced. I find it easier to sit at one place and do one thing for some period of time. It used to be impossible. My attention span was non existent. Kind of relieving to have a small improvement after 9 days of hell.

 

Thanks, i truly am. In my mind i have already beat it. I'm not gonna PMO again. Now it only remains to be cured from what it has done to me. I'll be truly happy when i can have sex with no dificulties and i am confident in myself. Everyday, that day comes closer.

 

Day 11: Had another wet dream last night. Today was very good up until the afternoon. My mood was great and was feeling happy. This went away some hours ago and now i'm feeling depressed and angry and insecure and worrying. Also the feeling of missing my ex has increased. This shit is hard as fuck but i'm gonna beat it. An easy mistake to make when you feel good is to forget that the miserable times will return. By all means enjoy your good times but know you will feel like absolute shit many times again until you are cured, and be prepared for what's coming.

 

Day 12: Just another day. Depression, low self esteem and a strange sense of peace.

 

Day 13: I've started the day really sad. I'm thinking about stuff about my ex wwith which i was together for 2.5 years and we experienced so many things together, i'm thinking about a girl i met some days ago and we made out and alhtough she seems amazing i can't help but think that when the time fox sex comes i'll have problems again.. I'm so sad these days that i just wish i could start screaming until i become dust and disappear. No matter how fucked up i feel though, i now know that PMO is never the answer.

 

Day 14: Forgot to update yesterday. It was just another day. I was calmer overall and had a good time with friends. Depression continues.

 

Thanks guys. Yeah i guess i'll take it slow and what happens, happens. Nothing else i can do really at this point.
Day 15: Still depressed. Today i felt some really bad urges but the thought of PMO is just disgusting to me now. Later i felt frustration and anger and after all this i feel exhausted but also calm.

 

Also, Merry Christmas to you all

 

Day 16: Didn't have time to update yesterday. Basically i felt better than usual throughout the day, more serious and collected. At some points i felt angry and at some others anxious. For example, i went out with some friends and when i was going to the meeting place i felt anxious and vulnerable and like someone wanted to attack me. WEIRD. After i spent some time with them, the anxiety faded. I also had some weak morning wood. I can't wait to get back those granite erections, but the thing i want most is for them to actually last. There were times in whick i could get rock hrd during foreplay no problem but even then, when i stopped to put on a condom, the erection quickly faded. I want those long lasting ones that don't go down no matter what.