I'm dying!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Black_Knight 1998, Mar 12, 2021.

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  1. Black_Knight 1998

    Black_Knight 1998 Fapstronaut

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    Hi, guys
    Few day ago i posted this post
    https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/can-this-cause-cancer-please-answer-me.304764/
    And since then I'm still hooked in the the ocd loop and i read many posts and academic researches about it and i discovered there are some evidence that it may transfer non-sexually, so that i can't stand anymore.

    Although i don't know if I'm having it or not but I'm nursing students although i didn't go to hospital as a nurse more than 3 months ago.

    I'm currently wishing to die because of these feelings. And I'm thinking sometimes about suicide although i will never do it for many reasons. But the idea of death is in my head.
     
    AversioN likes this.
  2. Uncle_Iroh

    Uncle_Iroh Fapstronaut

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    Well it sounds to me like you need some serious help, I suggest seeking out some form of therapy to help overcome your feelings, and to have an impartial person to talk to, as there's no one better. Most important thing to do is speak to someone though, family, friends, althoguh it's goog that you are putting this out there on NoFap, you don't get the real face to face feeling of someone who actually cares. Find someone to talk to, fear and sadness thrive in secrecy!
     
    Black_Knight 1998 likes this.
  3. It is a shame that a nursing student cannot responsibly handle his own knowledge. That's I have to say on the matter.

    If you ask me, I'd tell you to get therapy and reconsider your career.
     
  4. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    Do you have a positive test result? Also I do not think that it can transfer like that - atleast the risk is super small. You should how ever talk to a doctor etc. maybe it can help to relieve this stress. I am sure you can contact them by a phone etc.
    ps. you sound a lot like old me over analyzing and fearing that everything is my fault and I deserve to be punished for it. I am sure that as you continue nofap and add constructive and positive changes into your life (healthy habits and new hobbies) you will feel better. God bless you and may you have strength to fight this addiction!
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2021
  5. Black_Knight 1998

    Black_Knight 1998 Fapstronaut

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    Actually, my parents are caring about me and my mother are so close to each other and she wants to help me but I'm afraid to tell her.
     
  6. Black_Knight 1998

    Black_Knight 1998 Fapstronaut

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    There's no need to tell me about reconsidering my career. Because that's what I'm doing.
    And additionally, I'm a ocd patient and i started to think logically and read the academic research and there is possibility of non transmission (if you read the other post)
     
  7. Black_Knight 1998

    Black_Knight 1998 Fapstronaut

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    No, i didn't but it's based on assumption and I'm male which there's no test to know and in most cases the male may be catched and get rid of it without even knowing.
    These feelings you are talking about are the same I'm feeling. But i read According to my religious beliefs that is god will never punish someone with the another one's fault. And that's decreasing the severity of this feeling.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2021
    DeeJ4y and jayyad like this.
  8. I'm glad to hear that you're changing careers. It's better for everyone this way. :)
     
    Black_Knight 1998 likes this.
  9. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    Good to hear that you count in God! Even your sins are forgiven by God if you repent them and the bad feeling that you have is one sign of repent. Ask for forgiveness for your past sins and do your best to not do them again. Sexual sin is one of the hardest ones to get rid of but God grace will remove anything bad as long as we want it too. God bless you.
     
    Black_Knight 1998 likes this.
  10. Uncle_Iroh

    Uncle_Iroh Fapstronaut

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    I don't believe your mother will judge you for this, it's a problem you are going through and they'll only be supportive if that is wah tyou need of them. I have my mum ask me what I am doing if I go near the router to plug my ethernet cable in, it's a precaution that needs to be taken in my case and my mum is well aware of my addiction to porn.
     
    Black_Knight 1998 likes this.
  11. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    If you are having suicide ideas you should consider going to the psychiatric emergency room.
    You are just way too much into your on thoughts, it seems you need antidepressants or anxiolytic medicine. This problem seems too much for this forum.

    Take care
     
    Black_Knight 1998 likes this.

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