i can't seem to get my excitement for life back, my issue is that i can't invest and pass difficulties, such as getting a degree, getting a better job, working out, there is some missing link i can't seem to lay my finger on, i have gotten a 104 day streak and i was actually kind of the same... and i cant seem to get rid of these fucking back problems that are giving me hell for over 2 years now... back, neck, shoulders, they're all cramped and sore, it's NONSTOP, for over 2 years. can you imagine how depressing and frustrating this is? i have an active lifestyle i walk alot i work alot, nothing seems to help, same goes for passion for life, i've been watching some of tony robbins's videos, he is saying you need to find your passion, do what you love, but frankly i am trying my best and cant get myself to get throgh this phase. i'm 22 but mentally i still feel 14-15, i am cold to my family (mother and brother), it's a very old habit, i don't know why! i cant seem to act regular with them not matter how hard i try conciously, i dont know if its shame or what... i am very happy and cheerful with my friends, laughing and such, even if my brother shows me somthing funny, i try not to laugh, not to show a face, i dont know why!!! this is a habit i have since the age of 12-13 to address the issue of sexuality, i think i am ''sexually frustrated''. i am 22 years old, virgin, never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl, nothing... not comparing myself to others of anything but i feel i want it in my life. whenever i feel meh but then i meet a girl i know that im attracted to and hug to to greet it makes me feel so euphoric. in my social enviroment we dont have women and mostly are guys, most are gaming geeks so we dont hang out, nearly ever. and my poor game makes it hard to find a girlfriend... so in addition i feel in a loop that im trying to get a nofap streak but feeling so sexually tense and anxious, overly energetic, i cant seem to fall asleep... i take 1-1.5 hours to fall asleep. i truely believe i can get out of this, but i feel i need guidance, i know it can look silly to look it in online forum but i've tried a therapist, i've tried to change my weird mentallity with my family, schooling and getting a better job, i seem to have very low willpower, although very ambitious, which makes this even harder. so to sum up its alot of a vent post but i would really really appreciate if anyone could try and give me some insight about these subjects, maybe someone has been there himself, thank you for reading.